I just been told off by my manager for walking across the office with a sanitary towel in my hand!

[TinLeaf]

This afternoon my manager call me into her office. Apparently, a couple of people have spoken to her because I sometimes walk to the office toilets carrying a sanitary towel and it’s making them uncomfortable. She has suggested I take my bag with me instead.

I thought times had moved on and I refuse to be made to feel ashamed of my period. I think the people who have complained are being ridiculous and need to get over it. Aibu?

People are saying this is fine and should be the norm and your should complain! but I bet not one of them would do this. Thank god I don’t have to go into the office as much now. Sorry but this is indiscreet and is making your colleagues uncomfortable. Just try and exist around other people using the tried and tested methods we’ve all managed for years. You’re not being disadvantaged.

@Fairyarmpits

I wouldn't personally want to advertise to the whole office that it's the time of the month because I prefer stuff like that to be my business and not John in Accounts or Sandra on Reception. You do you though.

I guess if one of the blokes wants to relieve himself in the loo, would you be offended if he walked through the office with a packet of condoms? That would be pretty unpleasant but his argument might be that he's just sorting out his bodily functions in the toilet the same as you.

I think it might be worthwhile to be mindful of where this could lead. There's a lot of oversharing these days and it's generally not making people happier or improving relationships.

A male going for a wank is a choice.

A woman having a period is not.

How are the two compared?

@alexdgr8

i think in an office ie workplace environment, it is best to be discreet. and it is not so difficult. handbag/pocket/up sleeve of cardigan/ envelope. going to the loo is nothing to be ashamed of either, for any use, but why not have some dignity and self respect and respect for others, and not impose the details on colleagues. i think thing have swung too far. maybe common sense and common decency will prevail eventually.

I couldn't agree more. Not everything needs to be made public, particularly in the work environment. Neither does everything have to become a battle e.g. "I'm offended that you're offended by my sanitary pad"!

No time to read all, but a period is nothing to be ashamed of.

But why announce to the whole office you’re on yours? Is nothing discrete anymore?

Also… If they were concentrating on doing their work, they wouldn’t have noticed what you had in your hands, surely?

This infuriates me. How dare they criticise you for carrying sanitary products. I would carry a tampon to the loo in the office and don’t think it is unprofessional. I wouldn’t wave it around or put it on someone’s desk but just taking it to the loo is totally your prerogative

"Let’s be honest here , there is No Reason why anybody would want to carry a pad or tampon in their hand whilst on their way to the loo and especially in a office .

Do we leave a pack of paracetamol on our desk or carry it to the bathroom so everybody can see?
No, why would you ."

I often have paracetamol on my desk. As is my inhailer. Why would I care if others could see them? I wouldn't take painkillers to the toilets to swallow - I take them at my desk. I have also checked my blood sugar at my desk too.

Why would someone carry a san pro to the toilet? We'll probably to change 🤷‍♀️ not sure why that's a mystery.

And I hate to burst your bubble, but a woman taking a bag to the toilet says "period" far louder than taking one in your hand. Especially if you don't normally take a bag to the toilet. The reality is you have just not noticed others doing that not that they haven't.

@BananaBender

Get one of these bags.

www.etsy.com/au/listing/738015514/tampon-bag-period-pouch-sanitary-holder

I LOVE THIS!

(I don't use vampire teabags as I'm a Meluna cup fanatic, but eeeeevery woman in my family is getting one of these for Christmas!)

I'm confused by this thread.

Who actually does this? All the people who are agreeing - do you actually do this yourself?

It would be frowned upon where I work.

What's next? Are you going to actually change your pad in the office? While you're on a conference call? While you're standing next to the water cooler? While you're having a 1:1 with your boss? People are saying women shouldn't be ashamed about having a period and don't seem to be concerned about letting their colleagues know when they're on so where does it stop?

I go to work to work. I don't want to know that you are on your period in the same way that the CEO has erectile dysfunction or the young buck in Sales has genital warts.

Women complain they are not taken seriously enough at work and when I read some of the threads on MN I can't say I'm surprised.

@Georgeskitchen

I know times have changed but why do you feel.the need to "advertise " your period to the rest of your workforce? Is nothing private anymore? What's wrong with taking your handbag to the loos?

So every time OP takes her handbag to the toilet from now on, it's going to be obvious to her colleagues she's on her period? What's the difference?

@Weirdwonders

People are saying this is fine and should be the norm and your should complain! but I bet not one of them would do this. Thank god I don’t have to go into the office as much now. Sorry but this is indiscreet and is making your colleagues uncomfortable. Just try and exist around other people using the tried and tested methods we’ve all managed for years. You’re not being disadvantaged.

Why? Why should women amend their behaviour to make the men feel comfortable?

It wasn't women that complained, it was two men.

Would you complain if a man took a razor and shaving foam to to the bathroom? Or a toothbrush and toothpaste after lunch?

These are all personal care things that some people do and wouldn't warrant a complaint.

Discreet or not - it's misogynistic complaint to make.

They shouldn't have complained but I also have never had a problem being discreet with sanitary protection at work. Pockets, sleeves, waistband, tucked inside a shert of paper. It's not a big deal.

@Fairyarmpits

I'm confused by this thread.

Who actually does this? All the people who are agreeing - do you actually do this yourself?

It would be frowned upon where I work.

What's next? Are you going to actually change your pad in the office? While you're on a conference call? While you're standing next to the water cooler? While you're having a 1:1 with your boss? People are saying women shouldn't be ashamed about having a period and don't seem to be concerned about letting their colleagues know when they're on so where does it stop?

I go to work to work. I don't want to know that you are on your period in the same way that the CEO has erectile dysfunction or the young buck in Sales has genital warts.

Women complain they are not taken seriously enough at work and when I read some of the threads on MN I can't say I'm surprised.

Do I take san pro to the bathroom to change? Yes. Of course I do.

Do I take them in my hand? Yes. Well, probably not any more as my work now supply them. They are kept in a basket in the bathrooms.

The whole "what next?" Is just absurd. No I won't change them in a conference call. Or at my desk. I'm not sure why going to a toilet with an unused san pro would lead to that?

The reality is it's just very likely you haven't noticed others taking san pro to the toilet.

And that would be my argument to any manager - why were the men who complained paying close enough attention they could see what the op was carrying when they should have been working.

Oh I would totally be putting my Sanpro is a clear bag from now on .

Oh dear, some of the misogynistic comments on here highlight perfectly why young girls/women still have a lot of shame around their periods.

There is a new advert on TV around period shaming, it's about time! Women should NOT be ashamed or made to feel gross about a regular bodily function.

If you want to be discreet and have no one know you menstruate that's fine! But equally, if you want to carry a pad/tampon to the bathroom that's also fine. It's not as if you're sat in the office changing it for all to see.

I actually think it’s pretty ridiculous that people think hiding sanitary towels up your sleeve is the way to go lest the sight of one in your hand upsets the delicate sensibilities of your male colleagues.

As for the ‘you may as well change the pad at the photocopier’ post. 🙄🙄😱

You could get yourself one of these babies and replace the corks with tampons...

I agree it's a mountain out of a molehill to complain. I like the ads linked above and would send that as a response to your manager.

What happens when people need a bandaid? Do they silently slink to the first aid people and discretely show them the blood and quietly pass the bandaid under the desk? Or do they just get a bandaid and attend to it?

Sanitary products aren't shameful and are a part of life. If your work is not prepared to provide facilities in the bathroom for people to store their sanitary products, what are they expecting you to do? How do the poor male dears cope in the feminine hygiene section of the supermarket? Or do they pretend it doesn't exist?

@stuntbubbles

Fucking hell. The sensible thing here would be to carry on as normal, and also check the intranet for HR policies on such idiocy. But I’d be highly tempted to sew myself a fringed flapper dress with the fringe made entirely of tampons, and shimmy across the office in it, clapping mooncups together like coconuts.

🤣🤣🤣

Also @Fairyarmpits why should a woman be taken less seriously because she menstruates and people are aware of it?

Sorry PP. It is a bit odd you'd carry it across the office. I wouldnt advertise I'm off for a poo. Why can't you put it in your bag or pocket?

Whilst I probably wouldn’t carry a sanitary product visibly to the toilet, that’s because of my own insecurities, not because it’s inherently wrong. @Fairyarmpits I want to pick you up on your examples, they are sex related, a period is a biological process that women don’t have a choice over.
I think the main point about this is, if they were so embarrassed by the OP’s products, how on earth did they have the courage to speak to the manager about it, isn’t this just another control tactic?

It's very sad that a female manager talked to you like this. It would make me feel so self-conscious and shamed, and want to leave that office.

You should probably ask to see her and discuss how offensive it was.

@MummyofTw0 Yet, anytime someone goes to the toilet we know they're likely going for a wee/poo. And then we don't give it any more head space than that!

Just like OP going to change her pad/tampon shouldn't be given any more headspace than Oh, a woman who menstruates. Why are these 2 men offended 😂

I would never walk to the toilet with a tampon in my hand. I do think that is odd behaviour though admittedly odd to complain and for those complaints to have been taken seriously. I have a v small bag I put them in or would tuck in my trouser band or up my sleeve.

I would never notice what a colleague was carrying in their hand as they walked about an office. Unless it was huge and noticeably weird (a sanitary towel most definitely isn’t) or they were leaping around, shoving it in peoples faces and saying ‘look I’m bleeding from my uterus’.

How would you even notice that someone was holding a sanitary towel. The expectation that women should be carrying handbags to hide their unmentionables is just irritating.