to want a dog despite working full time and living in a flat?

[goodforyounoonecares]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 12 years. We’re 30, have just bought a flat in London and we’ll have a very inexpensive wedding soon. I’ve always wanted a dog. He’s grown up with dogs and loves them too but obviously has more experience in having one as a pet.

I really feel that a dog will significantly improve my mental wellbeing. I am aware of the stress dog ownership can bring, esp in the puppy period and I know it’s a huge responsibility.

I work 3 days a week from 8am to 7pm and one in four Saturdays. My partner works normal days, nights, weekends and long days (8am to 10pm) in equal sharing. Obviously the dog will need to go to daycare.

My partner is strongly against us getting a dog because he thinks it’s not fair to have them in day care half the week as they may be neglected by the day care owners/other dogs and that a dog should be given 100% undivided attention by their owner. He also thinks is not fair to raise a dog in a flat.

We can easily afford a dog. He thinks I’m desperate for a dog as I’m very broody which is partially true although I’ve wanted a dog long before I’ve been thinking about having our own family. We can’t TTC until we’re mid 30s for a multitude of reasons.

a LONELY, disruptive life I mean

@babyhaha

You’d never see me in East London to sight see let alone actually live there.

😂😂

I know right! What did poor old East London do to deserve you ire and loathing @goodforyounoonecares ???

@MurmuratingStarling I was responding to someone who denigrated east london first!

[quote goodforyounoonecares]@MurmuratingStarling I was responding to someone who denigrated east london first![/quote]
No she didn't, she just said 'I reckon you live near me in East London. Place is heaving with childless beanie wearing millennials holding a latte and towing a badly behaved dog round with them.' She never slagged off East London at ALL.

You did though, which is odd as according to your post at 18.56, you have never even been there.

Put an add on Facebook that you want to walk a dog. I am sure you will be inundated with people who will lend you their dog to walk and play with.

OP, both DH and I wanted a dog and we have a big garden but had to wait years until I took early retirement from teachers and decided to become a foster carer, so home most of day before we could get one. Ok so then we got 2 but we only did it once I was home most of day. Please wait for dogs sake. Dogs don't like being left at home all day alone.

I feel it’s very unfair on a dog to be used as a stopgap until you have a baby. What happens if you do have children and it all becomes too much work or the dog has jealousy issues? Will it then end up being rehomed because it no longer suits your lifestyle?

You can’t love dogs that much if you can’t put it’s welfare before your own wants. Are you expecting doggy daycare to do all the training, too? Strongly suggest you volunteer at a dog shelter or use Borrow My Doggy for a bit of reality,

goodforyounoonecares
@MurmuratingStarling I was responding to someone who denigrated east london first!
No she didn't, she just said 'I reckon you live near me in East London. Place is heaving with childless beanie wearing millennials holding a latte and towing a badly behaved dog round with them.' She never slagged off East London at ALL.

You did though, which is odd as according to your post at 18.56, you have never even been there.

Absolutely. (I made original comment).
East London will cope.

@goodforyounoonecares

Why do day care services offer 1-5 day a week packages then?

It depends on the dog. Some dogs would be fine, my dog would hate daycare.

You need to bond and build a relationship with a dog, so they know you’re their owner, you’re all part of the pack, good training and recall etc. I’m not sure how you could even go about that if the plan is essentially to put them in to long hours of daycare. I would imagine the dog might be confused and could think the day care centre is its new owner, and make it harder to bond with you.

I’ve no problem with day care itself but very much depends on the provider and also think shorter days are reasonable - 12 hours is too long.

Then the flat issue. I do think you would be very unreasonable to get a dog when you live in a flat with no garden, and it would be unfair to keep a dog cooped up inside apart from the times you take them outside. I know it’s a privilege having a garden but you need this for the dog - so they can pop out for a wee, poo, wander in and out when the weathers nice, lie in the sun etc. physically having to take your dog outside every time for a toilet break will become very tiresome for you and the poor dog will get very limited time outside as a result (which in turn affects their activity levels, wearing down of claws etc)

If you want one that much I would look to move to a place with access to a garden and change jobs / shifts as I really don’t think a dog is compatible with your current set up I’m afraid

Disgraceful to get a dog in that situation. We are getting a dog but I work back to back to my husband and don't work half term, we also live ina house with a garden.

Really do hope you’ve definitely put this idea on hold. In all honesty, you can’t genuinely love dogs that much if you won’t put its welfare before your own wants, and that’s what you need to do here. You don’t have the time to commit to a dog and you don’t really have a suitable property. A dog in a flat with no garden is always going to be something that somebody on here will support and say their dog manages just fine with. A dog would have a garden and an owner at home with it, if it had the choice. Put the imaginary dog first,

I have a dog and work full time/crazy hours sometimes. She also goes to daycare a couple of days per week but she is used to that now and the daycare we use is amazing (she's been going since 6 months and she's now nearly 7 years old). We also lived in a flat when she was a puppy and it was fine. Dogs are a big commitment though and not every dog adjusts to daycare. We pay £20 per day for daycare 7.45am until 5.45pm so if you were doing it full time it would be very expensive and I think prices can be up to £28 per day in our area!

@Howeverdoyouneedme

goodforyounoonecares *@MurmuratingStarling* I was responding to someone who denigrated east london first! No she didn't, she just said 'I reckon you live near me in East London. Place is heaving with childless beanie wearing millennials holding a latte and towing a badly behaved dog round with them.' She never slagged off East London at ALL.

You did though, which is odd as according to your post at 18.56, you have never even been there.

Absolutely. (I made original comment).
East London will cope.

Yep! I'm sure East London won't cry into their latte if @goodforyounoonecares never visits.

So “ Place is heaving with childless beanie wearing millennials holding a latte and towing a badly behaved dog round with them.” is a nice statement?

Low standards.

@MurmuratingStarling What’s your point? Why are you so defensive about a part of London?

Borrowmydoggy - Best of both worlds.

No to a dog but definitely have 2 or 3 indoor guinea pigs. They are absolutely brilliant.

So “ Place is heaving with childless beanie wearing millennials holding a latte and towing a badly behaved dog round with them.” is a nice statement?

It’s not meant to be a ‘nice’ statement and it’s not a comment on East London. It’s pointing out that loads of people in their early 30s wanted so got a dog, but they don’t have time for them. The dogs are badly behaved and it’s not fair on them.

Get a couple of cats to love and pamper.

People would have a baby and send to nursery for three days? And no one would bat an eyelid.

Can I therefore ask why it would not be acceptable to get a dog when she’d be with it the other four?
Not goady genuinely just asking what the difference is.

I do get the argument that if dc come along I’m a couple of years however the dog may lose out as less time/money and that would be unfair.

But I don’t see how a dog having a dog Walker or day care from being a pup would be a bad thing?

Some dogs aren't suited to daycare. They come with their own personalities and a whole host of other factors that will make a dog who they are. I currently walk one several times a day who has been expelled from daycare. They may be stressed in that environment.
It is also hard to get places in daycare full stop. A lot of them are full. I get contacted frequently and asked if I do daycare as a dog walker, because people can't find anywhere. If you do find one, chances are they won't do the sort of hours you require.Your dog would still have to be alone for quite a few hours, even if you could get one that collected and dropped off your dog.
Sorry to sound negative, but at the moment, your lifestyle doesn't suit a dog. If you want a dog that badly, maybe make changes to your working life, so you can better accommodate a dog.

I wonder how many of these people who are so vociferously saying no, have ever sent their young children to daycare or nursery Eg at the end of maternity leave…

OP I live in the center of massive city (not Chicago but like it). Homes are so expensive that 85% of people live in apartments. Of those, these days easily half have a dog and/or children (or it certainly looks like it given the amount of dog shit I have to step around every day). All these dogs seem well adjusted, well loved, well trained. People have dog walkers during the day. It works very well.

@Glitterbells

People would have a baby and send to nursery for three days? And no one would bat an eyelid.

Can I therefore ask why it would not be acceptable to get a dog when she’d be with it the other four?

Not goady genuinely just asking what the difference is.

You're serious aren't you?

2 points.

1. Please never get a dog.

2. You obviously don't have children