To feel uncomfortable putting make up on my 3 year old

[adastraperaspera1]

DD (age 3) does a dance class that she loves and is taking part in her first show next month.

In the information sent to parents, it says stage make up is mandatory and she has to wear: blue eyeshadow, pink blusher & red lipstick. It says mascara & foundation are optional but 'they do look better with them on'.

The show is mixed ages so I clarified whether make up is really required for Pre-School age and they said yes.

I do understand that it's stage make up and part of its purpose is to look 'better' under the stage lights, but I just feel really uncomfortable putting make up on her at age 3. To me, she is perfect as she is and teaching her about make up at such a young age sends the wrong messages to her.

AIBU?

My DS is in a show wearing mascara, eyeliner and blusher this week. This is perfectly normal for a show and the pre-schoolers love feeling so grown up. Don't sexualise something that isn't.

I remember having to wear dark heavy foundation for shows as a kid too! I now run a theatre, albeit a very small one, and actors often don’t wear make up for shows and certainly not exaggerated make up and it’s no problem. If the performers are looking washed out, I’d be inclined to blame the lighting design and not the make up.

No way on earth would that be happening. Mandatory doesnt sit well with me. My child, my decision.

This is really common at dance schools and they always say it's necessary.

However, my own kid's dance school did not put make-up on the tiny children, and you know, they did not look washed out, or like they needed foundation, or anything like that. They just looked like adorable toddlers and pre-schoolers, and much better than the ones with the make-up plastered on from other schools. Both on stage and in photos.

They also never put any of the girls out in costumes that looked like they were going clubbing which I appreciated.

This thread is insane, hysterical and so over dramatic.

Put on the makeup, or don't, whatever. There's no need for the inappropriate comments about making them look like hookers.

My kids did dance shows and so did I when i was little. It's a standard part of the costume so their features stand out on stage, the lighting can make facial features disappear so the red lip, eyeliner and eye shadow make them stand out.

The few boys in my kids class had some red lipstick and and eyeliner, on stage they just looked like their normal self, without the makeup they would have looked like they had no face.

There's really no need to get all hysterical about making children think they're not good enough as they are, it's absolutely nothing to do with improving their appearance.

*This thread is insane, hysterical and so over dramatic.

Put on the makeup, or don't, whatever. There's no need for the inappropriate comments about making them look like hookers.*

I agree.
I had a chat with my DD about this yesterday- she teaches dance in two different dance schools. Three years olds are asked to wear stage make up,no mascara, but lipstick eye shadow and foundation. It's not compulrsory, but she has never had a parent refuse.
Plus the children all love it.

absolutely nothing to do with improving their appearance

^ what's it for then?

It's a tradition, you could argue that dance itself has no "point".

“It’s a tradition”

I hate that’s expression
Usually applies to something shit

@WTF475878237NC

absolutely nothing to do with improving their appearance

^ what's it for then?

It’s not to improve their ‘general’ appearance. Stage make up doesn’t improve anyone’s general appearance, it’s awful close up! It’s, as multiple people have said, to make them look better under the stage lights and is basically part of their costume.

They should have given the exact same guidance regarding colours, but said to use face paint instead. Somehow that’s much more acceptable

I hate that’s expression
Usually applies to something shit

Does it?
Like birthday cakes or christmas trees, celbrating the New Year, graduation parties, easter egg hunts- all traditional- all shit?

Other than birthday cakes and trees

Yes

@WTF475878237NC

absolutely nothing to do with improving their appearance

^ what's it for then?

Improving suggests they don't look good enough. This is not why it's put on.

It's literally to make their features stand out under stage lights because they are not visible under that kind of light.

oatlattetogo

You seem to be contradicting yourself (as do many others on here). To make them look better you have said. That is the literal definition of to improve appearance. My point is, their appearance doesn't matter. They are little kids doing a hobby.

My point is, their appearance doesn't matter.

Performance art- appearance doesn't matter?

danceparent101.com/why-do-young-dancers-wear-makeup/

This might help those bleating about hookers and sexualising children.

The problem lies with perverts or people who automatically think like that instead of allowing children to be a part of a uniformed expressive performance if they want wear it the makeup.

@WTF475878237NC

oatlattetogo

You seem to be contradicting yourself (as do many others on here). To make them look better you have said. That is the literal definition of to improve appearance. My point is, their appearance doesn't matter. They are little kids doing a hobby.

Some are little children just doing a hobby.

However some will be very passionate about what they do and will want to take up performing arts seriously as they get older. If this is what they want they will be expected to take part in all aspects of the performance.

he problem lies with perverts or people who automatically think like that instead of allowing children to be a part of a uniformed expressive performance if they want wear it the makeup.

Absolutely.

Simply horrible saying a child looks like a sex worker.

We had full makeup but basically only strengthening natural colours. Definitely no blue eyeshadow. Oh and it was for the boys too.

I explained to DD that it was part of her costume for stage and she wouldn't be wearing it any other time. And that it was because of the bright lights.

On stage you do not notice it at all.

It can actually be scary for kids to see their face looking totally different. And putting mascara on a young kid is an absolute nightmare so we stopped with that after the first year!

@WTF475878237NC

oatlattetogo

You seem to be contradicting yourself (as do many others on here). To make them look better you have said. That is the literal definition of to improve appearance. My point is, their appearance doesn't matter. They are little kids doing a hobby.

There is a huge difference between making them look better on stage under the lighting and making them look more attractive. They aren't the same kind of "make them look better" at all. There is no contradiction.

@WTF475878237NC

oatlattetogo

You seem to be contradicting yourself (as do many others on here). To make them look better you have said. That is the literal definition of to improve appearance. My point is, their appearance doesn't matter. They are little kids doing a hobby.

I’m not contradicting myself. “Improving their appearance” suggests that they are being asked to wear make up so they somehow look prettier/nicer/more grown up, but that’s not the case. They will look ‘better’ under the stage lighting because their features will be clearer from a distance. They will look considerably ‘worse’ in real life as they will have garish make up all over their faces.

I think it is OTT!! I wouldn't be impressed being asked to do that either!

At our Dance school the really dinky ones have blush and lippy
Then the older you get the more you wear once you are about 8 it's foundation blush eye makeup not blue to be fair it's bronze for the primary school age and smoky eyes with lashes for the seniors and lipstick
I have always seen it as part of the fun of the shows and as a former dancer I have no issues with it
The boys normally have a bit on aswell for shows too
she has also been on the competition team since she was 8 (now 15) and for big comps they ask the girls to fake tan - the mini and junior team use gradual tanner and I have done spray tans in the past for her but she's found a brand of tan that she applies with a mitt and I do her back - it's just part and parcel of performing
She is equally happy not wearing makeup during the day so don't think it's done her any harm x

It’s stage make up so I’d think it’s fine

Men wear stage make up so I would think boys do too

tinks69

It gets quite serious with the older ones doesn't it! Fake tans, in fact the dance school would organise it for the older girls 15+, have a mobile unit visit before a show, false eye lashes some of the dance teachers would run make up workshops for stage. It's a serious thing!
The whole dance experience is an education in make up. My DD now 22 has incredible make up skills, for both on and off the stage.