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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Pils treating us unfairly?

170 replies

pilmoaner · 06/03/2022 19:58

Ok so pils own a second home which they do holiday rentals. We get to use it for a week once a year and just pay expenses (electric/cleaner etc). as does sil and her family. We have to use it in school hols as I work in a school. Sil tends to do term time as their ds is only 1. We have generally gone in summer hols as it's been our only hol due to not being able to afford another holiday. We realise this is a busy time but sil tends to use it 5/6 weekends a year on top whereas we only do the one week so we figured it equals out. This year for first time in many years we have book a holiday abroad in summer, we talked about going to seaside house too n decided to see if we could have the house spring half term. Pils have said the can't really let us have it peak time any more due to fact they can rent it. This means we can only go oct or feb half terms which seaside is a bit lacking for kids out of season. But sil n family will continue to use it for a week in june plus numerous weekends. We can't do weekends as dh works plus too far to go one night. Usually due to lack of money this is our only hol. We did enquire how much to cover loss so we could still go but it's more than we can afford to pay. The think is if you add up the losses for all sils uses it's prob not much different to our week it's just more spread out. Aibu to be a bit peeved?

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 06/03/2022 20:01

I can see that it’s disappointing but I think their reason is valid.

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 06/03/2022 20:01

Massively unreasonable!

Meandthesky · 06/03/2022 20:03

YABVU nobody owes you a free holiday.

You could use it term time or weekends like SIL, it’s not PIL fault that your circumstances prevent it, it’s reasonable that they want to let it out during school holidays.

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 06/03/2022 20:04

Yes. I think you are really.

It's a holiday rental and they can make most money at peak times.

If you didn't work in a school you could use it off peak too.

You can't use it because you work in a school, not because your PILS wouldn't let you at off peak times.

Baconandmaplesyrup · 06/03/2022 20:06

I think so yes, you aren’t entitled to this and just becayse your jobs don’t permit you to go doesn’t mean it’s owed to you. Their reason is valid.

DespairingHomeowner · 06/03/2022 20:06

YABU to be peeved as you are getting a freebie

What do you do for your PILs?

Juno22 · 06/03/2022 20:07

I can understand why they want to rent it out in school holidays. Your SIL is able to go at other times, but when her child is at school she'll be in the same position as you. It's just bad luck.

WorraLiberty · 06/03/2022 20:07

YABU, you and your DH don't have the sort of jobs that allow you to go during quieter/cheaper times. It suits you SIL but it doesn't suit you.

With the rising cost of everything, surely you don't begrudge your PILs maximising their profit?

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 06/03/2022 20:07

Many years ago my ils bought a huge static caravan. They took sil's dc every single time they went. They offered it to me and dc once. Dh dropped us off and picked us up. They had no interest in taking our dc and never offered me to use it again.
Accept they have placed you /dh and sil on different tiers...
But...
When they need anything they can call on sil.
I.

A580Hojas · 06/03/2022 20:07

Bloody hell! I've read some batshit AIBUs on Mumsnet in my time and this one is right up there.

Uafasach · 06/03/2022 20:08

Of course you are unreasonable to be peeved. You are not being treated unfairly or differently to your SIL. PILs are offering you the exact same thing as they are offering SIL, how is that unfair? They can't help it if you can't take up their kind offer.

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 06/03/2022 20:10

@Easterbunnyiswindowshopping

Many years ago my ils bought a huge static caravan. They took sil's dc every single time they went. They offered it to me and dc once. Dh dropped us off and picked us up. They had no interest in taking our dc and never offered me to use it again. Accept they have placed you /dh and sil on different tiers... But... When they need anything they can call on sil. I.
Completely different scenario.
CowsAreNotGreen · 06/03/2022 20:10

Are you for real? A free holiday and you just have to not go in peak times. Seems fair enough to me. It's not even your own parents you're moaning about. No one owes you a free holiday get over it.

rookiemere · 06/03/2022 20:10

Perhaps ILs figured that as you could afford a holiday abroad this year, they didn't need to miss out on a peak weeks rental.

Just go in February or October instead.

Hercisback · 06/03/2022 20:12

YABU.

You're being offered the same thing. It's not SIL fault you can't do those times.

Pegasussnail · 06/03/2022 20:13

They are right to rent it for full price in peak season and have been very kind to give it to you free all those times. Leave it be.

Houseplantmad · 06/03/2022 20:13

Nothing wrong with going to the beach in October half term. We go then and the sea is still warm enough to swim in.
With costs going up your PILs will be wanting to maximise rental income so YABU for being peeved.

HomeHomeInTheRange · 06/03/2022 20:15

Very unreasonable.

They clearly need to make income from the property. They have been very generous in allowing you to use it in the very sort peak window they have to make money in the summer school holidays.

If you, or SIL, can use it without reducing their income too much, fine, I am sure they would be happy for you to use it.

It isn’t their fault you aren’t able to do weekends.

You are lucky: few other people have had years of a free holiday house at a peak time!

WlNDMlLL · 06/03/2022 20:17

Can your DH not take annual leave on a Fri so you can go for a weekend, heading off straight after school finishes?

Sharrowgirl · 06/03/2022 20:18

Your SIL’s child will soon be in school and she won’t be able to use it either.

Shesmyperson · 06/03/2022 20:19

Yabu. You know this though, really, don't you?

Hercisback · 06/03/2022 20:19

Could you not drive for a weekend yourself?

Also if you've booked a holiday abroad, being like this about another holiday is a bit grabby.

TellMeMoreHellebore · 06/03/2022 20:20

unfair? sil does this,sil does that?

er...its not up to your in laws to make things all fair and even....you aren't small kids anymore

supposed to be adults...christ,this place gets worse for entitlement!!

pilmoaner · 06/03/2022 20:22

@WlNDMlLL

Can your DH not take annual leave on a Fri so you can go for a weekend, heading off straight after school finishes?
No caus it's only rentable sat-mon mon-sat or sat-sat which I find weird.
OP posts:
Cakelover17 · 06/03/2022 20:23

YABU, and can your DH really not book off a single weekend in the entire year? Regardless it’s not their fault SIL can use to more of the year than you can, she’s still not using it in peak season. And they are still being nice enough to let you use it in any school holidays.