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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Pils treating us unfairly?

170 replies

pilmoaner · 06/03/2022 19:58

Ok so pils own a second home which they do holiday rentals. We get to use it for a week once a year and just pay expenses (electric/cleaner etc). as does sil and her family. We have to use it in school hols as I work in a school. Sil tends to do term time as their ds is only 1. We have generally gone in summer hols as it's been our only hol due to not being able to afford another holiday. We realise this is a busy time but sil tends to use it 5/6 weekends a year on top whereas we only do the one week so we figured it equals out. This year for first time in many years we have book a holiday abroad in summer, we talked about going to seaside house too n decided to see if we could have the house spring half term. Pils have said the can't really let us have it peak time any more due to fact they can rent it. This means we can only go oct or feb half terms which seaside is a bit lacking for kids out of season. But sil n family will continue to use it for a week in june plus numerous weekends. We can't do weekends as dh works plus too far to go one night. Usually due to lack of money this is our only hol. We did enquire how much to cover loss so we could still go but it's more than we can afford to pay. The think is if you add up the losses for all sils uses it's prob not much different to our week it's just more spread out. Aibu to be a bit peeved?

OP posts:
CowsAreNotGreen · 06/03/2022 21:03

If you were that bothered about going there you would pay for it

Jvg33 · 06/03/2022 21:04

'you aren't treated the same ' - you aren't their kid OP. I would expect a teacher to be a bit more mature than this as an adult

blubberyboo · 06/03/2022 21:09

You should graciously take them up on the offer of an October slot and see if there are any weekends they could give you where there is a bank holiday Monday and you school is closed.
If not then just make alternative holiday arrangements.
Really you could even drive there early on a Saturday morning and home late on a Sunday night

Derbee · 06/03/2022 21:10

I think if you sit down and think about it, you’ll realise how entitled and unreasonable you sound. I hope you haven’t said anything to them about it!

Awrite · 06/03/2022 21:15

Is sil a single parent by any chance?

Regardless, you should feel gratitude for their kindness in letting you stay for costs for however many times it has been. If you can't even afford the difference between peak/off peak, I imagine their kindness equates to thousands.

pilmoaner · 06/03/2022 21:16

@Jvg33

'you aren't treated the same ' - you aren't their kid OP. I would expect a teacher to be a bit more mature than this as an adult
Not a teacher
OP posts:
pilmoaner · 06/03/2022 21:18

@Jvg33

Why don't you ask to go a weekend then? You are waiting to be offered for some reason. You are whinging about a freebie from people who are not your parents. Why are you so obsessed with SIL? Look at the bigger picture before you complain. What do the pil do for your husband in general. They can't afford to give you a week in the summer anymore because that is when they are most likely to gain lettings. And you have stated that you can't afford to pay them. Therefore you save up for your own holidays.
Weekend are sat - Mon. dd has school it's a three hour drive too far for one night.
OP posts:
pilmoaner · 06/03/2022 21:18

@CowsAreNotGreen

If you were that bothered about going there you would pay for it
Can't afford it
OP posts:
pilmoaner · 06/03/2022 21:19

@Awrite

Is sil a single parent by any chance?

Regardless, you should feel gratitude for their kindness in letting you stay for costs for however many times it has been. If you can't even afford the difference between peak/off peak, I imagine their kindness equates to thousands.

No not single parent
OP posts:
pilmoaner · 06/03/2022 21:19

@Derbee

I think if you sit down and think about it, you’ll realise how entitled and unreasonable you sound. I hope you haven’t said anything to them about it!
No of course not.
OP posts:
pilmoaner · 06/03/2022 21:21

@AskingforaBaskin

YABU to put it in simple terms SIL does not lose them money.

You do.

They are paying for your holiday. They don't want to buy you a holiday.

It all loses them money . Sil take a week plus several weekends. We take a peak week. It equals roughly same.
OP posts:
twominutesmore · 06/03/2022 21:21

"Can't afford it."

Neither can your pil.

And if you can afford to go abroad, you can afford to pay a fair sum for use of the holiday home.

twominutesmore · 06/03/2022 21:22

"It all loses them money . Sil take a week plus several weekends. We take a peak week. It equals roughly same."

But surely sil can say 'is there a week in may or June when the house isn't booked' or 'any weekends coming up when you haven't got a booking'.

NeedAHoliday2021 · 06/03/2022 21:24

Either go Saturday to Monday but leave late on Sunday (3 hour drive is fine - we do it with 3dc regularly Saturday to Sunday) or go over a back holiday, or February/October. Why do you expect your summer holiday to be subsidised? I’d feel awful thinking my pil were out of pocket by such a significant amount compared to what sil gets.

twominutesmore · 06/03/2022 21:24

What does your do make of it? They're his parents, surely he can ask them these questions?

Cheeseandlobster · 06/03/2022 21:24

Entitled much? Wow!

pilmoaner · 06/03/2022 21:26

@Jvg33

Why don't you ask to go a weekend then? You are waiting to be offered for some reason. You are whinging about a freebie from people who are not your parents. Why are you so obsessed with SIL? Look at the bigger picture before you complain. What do the pil do for your husband in general. They can't afford to give you a week in the summer anymore because that is when they are most likely to gain lettings. And you have stated that you can't afford to pay them. Therefore you save up for your own holidays.
Sil gets - Free childcare several days a week plus odd weekends Cleaner (mil) Gardener (fil) Free dog sitter Mon-Fri Holiday home one week a year plus several weekends Dh gets - Holiday home one week a year oct/feb half term only Occasional overnight stay for dd maybe once every few months. Sil does live in same town we live 20 mile away.
OP posts:
Lou98 · 06/03/2022 21:27

Also the loss they take for all sils visits is similar to loss for us to have it one peak week

I doubt it's similar. It may work out the same cost roughly if it was rented out all the time SIL uses it but the fact is it's harder to rent a holiday property (especially one near the seaside) the rest of the year. Chances are that at least half of the time SIL uses it, it might have been empty otherwise so your PILs wouldn't have been making anything on it anyway, whereas, in the school summer holidays, it would be unlikely that they wouldn't get a booking so losing money every time you use it.

I imagine it's also got a lot to do with the fact that a lot more people are now holidaying in the UK this year so they can make the money from it. They also probably figured since you're going abroad this year it's quite cheeky to still want a week during peak times.

YAB massively U. You sound like a spoiled child - they don't owe you anything and they can offer it to SIL whenever they like, it's their property

ChubbyMorticia · 06/03/2022 21:29

I sincerely hope your PIL never catch a hint of this. Be a fast way to ensure you never get a holiday at their expense again.

Slippy78 · 06/03/2022 21:30

Whoever told you that life was fair was lying to you.

It isn't.

Stressedout1009 · 06/03/2022 21:30

@ChubbyMorticia

I sincerely hope your PIL never catch a hint of this. Be a fast way to ensure you never get a holiday at their expense again.
What a cheek the op has. Op, you are so entitled that you actually think you have something to complain about. I hope your own dps are doing something equally for you.
CowsAreNotGreen · 06/03/2022 21:30

Free childcare several days a week plus odd weekends

Now you're bitter that they can help with their grandkids because they live nearby.

Stop comparing the relationships as if they are financial transactions.

TellMeMoreHellebore · 06/03/2022 21:31

be happy your til gets the support!!

instead of being eaten up with jealousy

TellMeMoreHellebore · 06/03/2022 21:31

*sil

Awrite · 06/03/2022 21:33

You sound worse with every post op.

Your pil are close to their daughter. Maybe she's nice. Maybe she's grateful.

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