Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sharing bed sheets, is it me?

254 replies

MakeMineALarge1 · 06/03/2022 19:07

Ok I really don't know if I am being weird here, but I have my sheets on my bed that I share with my husband and my daughter has hers that she shares with her boyfriend.
I bought myself some new bedding last week, I have used it once, washed it etc and now she has put it on her bed!
I don't know why but it makes me uneasy, obviously its washed between uses etc, I can't verbalise it but if makes me uncomfortable.

OP posts:
WalkingOnTheCracks · 07/03/2022 14:05

@CombatBarbie

All beds have their own bedding in our house, however that's mainly to do with colour schemes in each room.

I get the uneasy feeling (but not full on ick) although I think another poster explained it well.

Your sheets have to match the colour scheme of the room? That's high-functioning design awareness you got there.

I dated a woman who locked the downstairs loo one day when she had people round because she hadn't been able to get pale peach bog roll that matched the tiles.

PleaseDontDriveMeBlind · 07/03/2022 16:50

Your sheets have to match the colour scheme of the room? That's high-functioning design awareness you got there.

Well, for me the bedding matches the room colour and the sheets match the bedding.

My room is light sage green. I like blush pink, dark purple, and pale yellow with this colour, so I choose bedding to match, including the sheets. It would look very odd to me to have sage green room with purple duvet and then a royal blue bed sheet, it doesn't match.

Royal blue bed sheets would march my DDs room, though, and blue is her favourite colour, so. I prefer my towels to march the colour of the bathroom, too. Downstairs is like a burnt rustic orange, so we have towels for the downstairs bathroom specifically, the upstairs one is dark blue so I work around that when buying towels.

Without colour-schemes, rooms with all sorts of various colours in them, they really stress me out. Things feel calmer in a room with a colour scheme. Blush

PleaseDontDriveMeBlind · 07/03/2022 16:54

I was just raised with separate towels and bath sheets for everyone though, so it's just my normal.

PleaseDontDriveMeBlind · 07/03/2022 16:59

I dated a woman who locked the downstairs loo one day when she had people round because she hadn't been able to get pale peach bog roll that matched the tiles.

That's a bit far. Thinking about it, though, I would prefer my downstairs bathroom to have the pale peach toilet paper, but I wouldn't stop people going in there. I mean, at least white toilet paper matches the white toilet.... Grin

Upstairs bathroom currently has a broken toilet lid. I want a dark blue one because the tiles are dark blue. White would do though, but I'd like a blue one more.

Scotland32 · 07/03/2022 17:30

@Bimblybomeyelash

I’d be annoyed that she had stolen my new bedding! But I don’t think I’d have the ick factor. Tell her that she’s bloody rude and if she wants some new bedding to buy some herself!
Exactly this.
Bebethany · 07/03/2022 17:43

Bimblybomeyelash I feel the same! It’s mine I bought it so fuck off and buy your own! 😂

But people go to hotels and sleep in beds with sheets that have been used by 100’s of people don’t they!

mumof2exhausted · 07/03/2022 17:49

It’s just bed sheets. Are you as weird about towels? Once washed they are a free for all in our house. But we iust

riceuten · 07/03/2022 18:06

@3001signon

Because it’s yours and, apart from the fact parents rarely have something ‘just for them’ because our kids want everything, you don’t want to be having sex on the sheets that DD may have had sex with her boyfriend on. I totally get it.

It’s not the same as sleeping on hotel sheets before anyone mentions that.

It totally is exactly the same as "sleeping on hotel sheets" - or do you think they provide a fresh set of brushed Egyptian cotton sheets for each customer and burn after use?
sillysmiles · 07/03/2022 18:16

I find the concept of specific people's bedding in a family home .....unusual. It all lives in the cupboard and gets used as it is found.

sobby · 07/03/2022 18:22

I would be annoyed as all rooms have their own matching bedding .. if I had just treated myself to some nice new bedding then yes I would be cross. Saying that no one would get chance as I wash, dry and put it back on my bed the same day .
I have my own towels too but have a cupboard full of towels that anyone can have .

I personally wouldn’t have an issue about the other part of using the same bedding and if I go away and grown up kids are here to look after pets happy for them to sleep in my bed as long as the bedding is washed afterwards . I don’t like sleeping in a bed that anyone has slept in even for one night .

Justanotherobserver · 07/03/2022 18:29

@HoppingPavlova

Couldn’t get annoyed tbh. I have several adult kids here and the bed linen is interchangeable, none is ‘assigned’ to each person. It would be the same for us except we have a different sized bed so have our own.

We are not precious though, if we have family or people we know well to stay and people give up beds for guests, if it’s for less than a week we don’t even change the sheets when they go. We don’t have guests that shit in beds or similar (and every bed has a waterproof protector so while we would change sheets in such a scenario, mattress would be fine). I have enough washing as it is without adding to it with stuff like this.

I've stayed with people where the bed hasn't been changed since the last person stayed over and it's gross. I can smell the last occupant and it stops me sleeping. Their perfume on the sheets, the smell of their hair products on the pillow, their body, even if it's not a bad BO smell, I can still smell them. Just no. No, no, no.
Justanotherobserver · 07/03/2022 18:30

As for the daughter, if she wants fancy sheets and she's working, then she can buy her own.

threatmatrix · 07/03/2022 18:33

Does your washing machine not work properly?

PleaseDontDriveMeBlind · 07/03/2022 18:36

It’s just bed sheets. Are you as weird about towels? Once washed they are a free for all in our house.

Yeah, separate towels too. I buy DD ones with kid prints on though, so lion king and cats currently, so I would know not to use those. I always had my own towel growing up as a kid, and my own bedding.

I just don't think that being a family means everything has to be communal. I like having our own things, and bedding and towels are just part of that. I know they've been washed and there is nothing unhygienic about it, I just think we should all have our own.

As kids we all had our own clothes too, even if we wore the same sizes we wouldn't have been expected to 'just wear your sister's clothes'. I mean, it's basically the same thing, the clothes have been washed, but they just aren't mine.

Tbh though, bedding can often be one of the birthday presents or Xmas gifts in our house, so DD got some Pokémon bedding for her birthday, so she is right to feel it is hers and not her sisters, for example.

ivykaty44 · 07/03/2022 18:38

Do you never stay in hotels or go on holiday?

Notreallyhappy · 07/03/2022 18:42

Not being weird. My house has separate bedding for each room.
Get yourself a new set again and tell missy dd mitts off!!

ancientgran · 07/03/2022 18:53

@starfishmummy

You'll need to burn them now.
The sheets or the DD and boyfriend. I think both are a bit extreme but one more so than the other.
Meatshake · 07/03/2022 19:00

Log it with 111 just in case

Dnaltocs · 07/03/2022 19:19

Wow! Talk about being spoilt. There’s more happening in the world. Lucky to have a bed and warmth. Matching toilet paper! Matching bed sets! Have I moved to a parallel world.

Roo4u · 07/03/2022 19:19

31Ffsmakeitstop that's so funny lol

Mothership4two · 07/03/2022 19:22

OP I have to say I think it's you.

I have a 23 yo at home who could easily take new bedding. Unless I had specifically said don't touch that's ours (which wouldn't occur to me) I'd be mildly irritated at most that I couldn't put it on our bed.

Absolutely no ick factor here

BooneyBeautiful · 07/03/2022 19:47

@CombatBarbie

All beds have their own bedding in our house, however that's mainly to do with colour schemes in each room.

I get the uneasy feeling (but not full on ick) although I think another poster explained it well.

Same here.
Inertia · 07/03/2022 19:53

It’s the rudeness rather than ickiness which would bother me.

That said, each bed in our house has 2 sets of bedding ( one on, one in the wash) to match the room, so mixing them up would irritate me . They live in the room they belong to. General spare bedding goes in the cupboard.

Towels for each bedroom too, everyone’s towels go on the radiator in their own room once used, spares in the big cupboard.

cultkid · 07/03/2022 20:01

No it wouldn't make me feel sick
We all use the same bedding here in this house and when my kids are older and if they have the same sized bed as me then we would just use the sheets that are at the top of the pile in the airing cupboard
I use the same pillow cases etc on my bed as I do on the children's and they use my blankets too. My toddler really likes my favourite blanket (his favourite too) and so we share it. I often come into my room and find he has taken it off my bed to his room to snuggle on or to the sofa.

It would maybe make me feel like my kids were entitled if they did that aged 24 but IDK because I just want them to be happy to be honest and would be pleased they were spending time in the house with me...

I wouldn't be ok with them taking my clothes without asking though

Pinklemonade1 · 07/03/2022 20:06

I have no idea what the issue is here. Bedding gets washed, put in the airing cupboard and when it's time to change the sheets, I just take whatever from said airing cupboard. 🤷