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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sharing bed sheets, is it me?

254 replies

MakeMineALarge1 · 06/03/2022 19:07

Ok I really don't know if I am being weird here, but I have my sheets on my bed that I share with my husband and my daughter has hers that she shares with her boyfriend.
I bought myself some new bedding last week, I have used it once, washed it etc and now she has put it on her bed!
I don't know why but it makes me uneasy, obviously its washed between uses etc, I can't verbalise it but if makes me uncomfortable.

OP posts:
OnTheBoardwalk · 06/03/2022 22:10

What I’m not sure though from your posts (unless I’ve missed it) is if it’s the sheets in question or duvet covers and pillow cases?

I have no idea n what sheets are what on my own bed

Jellyfishjean · 06/03/2022 22:10

Bizarre. Surely as long as sheets are washed who cares who sleeps on them? I couldn't be precious about this.

RosiePosieDozy · 06/03/2022 22:12

She's mean. That's your bedding that you chose for yourself.

OnTheBoardwalk · 06/03/2022 22:13

I have guest duvet covers but not sheets

irregularegular · 06/03/2022 22:17

Sheets can go on any bed they fit. Doesn't matter at all about swapping if washed.

What happens when you sleep in a bed away from home???

oakleaffy · 06/03/2022 22:18

@MakeMineALarge1

Ok I really don't know if I am being weird here, but I have my sheets on my bed that I share with my husband and my daughter has hers that she shares with her boyfriend. I bought myself some new bedding last week, I have used it once, washed it etc and now she has put it on her bed! I don't know why but it makes me uneasy, obviously its washed between uses etc, I can't verbalise it but if makes me uncomfortable.
Sheets are definitely personal, like towels are.

Definitely not ''Just you'' .
I know they are washed, but even so, better one's own sheets.

irregularegular · 06/03/2022 22:18

Of course she shouldn't just take your new bedding without asking though!

user1493494961 · 06/03/2022 22:19

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

Fairislefandango · 06/03/2022 22:27

I'm shocked at the people that are sarcastically commenting as if its not a big deal. In that case why don't you just share knickers if we are applying the same logic of "they've been washed".

I'm no longer shocked at the stupid amlunt of things which give MNers 'the ick' Hmm. You go to a hotel, you're sleeping in sheets that potentially hundreds of people have slept in. You stay over at a friend's or at family's - do you think they have different sets of sheets for each different set of guests they have?

I don't share bedding with my dc, but that's only because they have single beds and we have a double. I have a bunch of identical plain white fitted sheets and pillowcases. They get used on our bed and the spare bed. We don't have person-specific towels either. It's not the same as knickers fgs - clothes fit and belong to an individual. Bedding is part of the soft furnishings.

GallopingHighRoad · 06/03/2022 22:29

Hang on...you wash bedding?

ukborn · 06/03/2022 22:33

My bed is bigger so this doesn't happen, but honestly the sheets are washed do couldn't care less - all the other bed sheets are interchangeable. Duvet covers tend to be room specific as they match the decor.

Youcansaythatagainandagain · 06/03/2022 22:35

@unimagine

100%

Doesn't matter if they're new, expensive, whatever the reason, bedding is personal. Regardless of them being washed.

Im shocked at the people that are sarcastically commenting as if its not a big deal. In that case why don't you just share knickers if we are applying the same logic of "they've been washed".

Major ick. Maybe she doesn't see it that way which is fine, explain this once and it shouldn't happen again. If it does then that is her not respecting your wishes which she is clearly old enough to given she has a boyfriend. Also yes to removing them from her bed, set clear boundaries.

I agree with this

There is a reason that twenty something year olds share houses with other twenty something year olds. When they take something that isn't theirs, they are told to 'fck off in no uncertain terms. Houseshares are learning zones. Unfortunately your daughter is learning these lessons in the family home and needs to learn to respect other people's belongings.

Mamamia7962 · 06/03/2022 22:44

We have a king size bed and my adult daughter has a double so we don't have that problem. Hand towels are shared but we all have our own bath towels. Also we all have our own mugs.

Letterasaurus · 06/03/2022 22:54

@GallopingHighRoad

Hang on...you wash bedding?
GrinGrinGrin
blueshoes · 06/03/2022 23:10

I couldn't care less. Do you bring your own bedding if stay outside your home for the night?

Seriously, if you stay in at a friends' house, B&B or hotel, how do you even know that the sheets are clean. Do you worry about that too?

OP, you washed it between uses. It is between family. I don't see the problem and could not think of anything of less significance that could occupy my mind.

TheKeatingFive · 06/03/2022 23:10

bedding is personal

How do these people cope in hotels, guest houses, even staying over in other people's houses?

Or are the hygiene nuts destined to never sleep anywhere beyond their own house?

Sunnytwobridges · 06/03/2022 23:14

Yuck. I don't like sharing sheets with anyone, for some reason it gives me the ick. My sister and her DH are visiting next weekend and I bought a new sheet for them and I keep thinking I can use them on my bed but the thought of it skeeves me out so they will be put away for visitors only. LOL

TarcasticSwat · 06/03/2022 23:15

You'll probably have to buy new sheets. I'm not sure even a 60 degree wash will get the crust out of your sheets now...

Bluelillies · 06/03/2022 23:16

My dd used to be the same
If it wasn’t nailed down,she’d take it-everything from make up brushes to my clothes
(I was once walking through tesco,when I saw myself walking towards me-she’d helped herself to my clothes and fucked off out while I was at work)
It’s not about the bedding-it’s about respect-I wouldn’t dream of walking into her room and helping myself to anything I took a fancy to
I had to have word with mine about asking before she helped herself-in the end she moved out which helped massively

Arabellla · 06/03/2022 23:22

Tell her to move out, she’s annoying.

Wafflesnsniffles · 06/03/2022 23:23

[quote MakeMineALarge1]@TravellingFrom we haven't had overnight guests for ages, but I think I'd buy new.[/quote]
Each and every time you have guests??
Would you throw them away afterwards? Or keep a separate set for each lot of guests lol - here friends C&R is your bedding........only ever used by you when you visit!

What your daughter did with your bedding and does with your stuff is a total overstep - totally not ok. Cheeky mare
But the bedding issue - its just bedding. No different to sitting on a sofa that you also share with other people.

Nanny0gg · 06/03/2022 23:47

@MakeMineALarge1

Yes it gives me a funny feeling, but it's also the fact she just takes what she wants. My coats, shoes, bags etc. I'm sorry you're 24 start buying your own stuff
Why do you let her?

My children would never take anything of mine without asking - nor would I take anything of theirs.

HoppingPavlova · 06/03/2022 23:51

Couldn’t get annoyed tbh. I have several adult kids here and the bed linen is interchangeable, none is ‘assigned’ to each person. It would be the same for us except we have a different sized bed so have our own.

We are not precious though, if we have family or people we know well to stay and people give up beds for guests, if it’s for less than a week we don’t even change the sheets when they go. We don’t have guests that shit in beds or similar (and every bed has a waterproof protector so while we would change sheets in such a scenario, mattress would be fine). I have enough washing as it is without adding to it with stuff like this.

HoppingPavlova · 06/03/2022 23:53

Also happy for DD to borrow stuff if mine, and me if hers. We are different sizes so don’t share clothes but will happily borrow each other’s jewellery, accessories, bathroom products etc without checking on the basis neither of us cares.

shrunkenhead · 06/03/2022 23:59

Next time you wash her/your bedding hang it out to dry overnight so it gets "darked on". ... that'll teach her.