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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sex scenes in movies

161 replies

187mob · 06/03/2022 17:46

Now I’m not a prude. I enjoy sex just as much as the next person. But I’m fed up of every other scene in a movie being a sex scene. It’s boring and often takes away from the storyline. Am I the only one who feels this way? I think it would be better if it was simply implied, rather than showing the whole scene. It’s just unnecessary and annoying. Anyone agree or am I in the minority here?

OP posts:
Momicrone · 06/03/2022 21:12

Oh no, I don't like seeing violence either, and I also enjoy having sex

JudgeJ · 06/03/2022 21:15

@Momicrone

No sex scene is vital to the story, the knowledge that sex has happened, may be, but not a graphic depiction of it. Tv dramas have loads, normal people and industry to name just two.
You could argue the same about any graphic scene in a film or TV programme if all that's needed is the knowledge that someone's been murdered, attacked beaten up etc so we might as well just read a three line summary.
1forAll74 · 06/03/2022 21:16

That was a bit of a funny type of sex scene between Pauline Collins and Tom Conti, in Shirley Valentine, while in the little boat. Quite nice I thought !!

Momicrone · 06/03/2022 21:28

Judge j, you are right, you don't need to see all the brutality of murder and violent assaults to tell a story. Good story telling doesn't need it. But you need plenty more than three lines to tell a great story.

Ratched · 06/03/2022 21:39

The exception to this rule is 'The Great'.

Otherwise, I totally agree, sex scenes are awful.

beansprout55 · 06/03/2022 22:30

Totally with you on this, I think it's too risky to watch movies with friends or family unless it's a PG. That awkward moment when a sex scene starts or a woman is prancing around in lingerie and you're whole fam is there.... cringe cringe cringe.

Find it hard to find a sex free and decent series to watch.

MangyInseam · 06/03/2022 22:32

I find it worse on tv than films. But yes, it's stupid and mainly IMO a way for them to make the claim that it's somehow edgy.

I especially hate when it means something that would be otherwise great to watch with my kids won't work.

MangyInseam · 06/03/2022 22:34

@YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer

There must be a very low proportion of screen writers and directors who are “breast men” or, alternatively many savvy actresses with watertight no nudity clauses in their contracts

@boatyardblues

Grey's Anatomy is an America show that is on regular broadcast television. Nudity is not allowed on those channels in America. The actresses dont need a "no nudity clause" and the directors may love breasts very much LOL doesnt matter in this case.

Yes, and this relates to why there is so much more nudity etc on tv now - where most things are not on network tv there is a lot more scope for adult material.
Catflapkitkat · 06/03/2022 22:41

Have you noticed that all the sex scenes now seemed to be filmed with the woman on top - so maximum female nudity.

I thought the sex in Bridgerton was so cringe. Weirdly, the Roman/Jerri relationship in Succession is a bit of an obsession and in 3 seasons they have had phone sex and he mistakenly sent his Dad a dick pick that was meant for her. Less is more.

Sparklingbrook · 06/03/2022 22:43

They had an ‘Intimacy Coordinator’ on Normal People. Google Ita O’Brien.
It’s fascinating, how she made it look so realistic, yet the two actors said it was the least sexy thing, ever.

EarringsandLipstick · 06/03/2022 22:43

@Momicrone

Haggisfish, why did you love the sex scenes in normal people? I'd be quite sad if that was my 21 year old daughters first a fing job.
Why on earth would you be sad? 🤔

It's acting. And it was amazingly done, as well as beautifully shot & directed.

Sparklingbrook · 06/03/2022 22:45

Nudity of the characters seemed fairly equal in Normal People too.

EarringsandLipstick · 06/03/2022 22:46

@Sparklingbrook

Ita O'Brien is amazing. And more than it being not sexy, it was that all the boundaries & actions were discussed & agreed ahead of time. Both main actors talk about then being free to engage with the meaning & beats of the scenes. Making for an amazing production.

EarringsandLipstick · 06/03/2022 22:48

@LittleGwyneth

Love a good sex scene. Can't imagine watching a show where people die and feeling fine about that but upset about a bit of shagging. But then this is mumsnet, where most people don't like sex.
I agree.

Some Netflix shows overdo the sex scenes to the detriment of the plot line.

But I get more irritated when shows don't show sex, it feels false.

Sparklingbrook · 06/03/2022 22:50

Yes it was quite clear that the actors had stipulated certain things. In that they managed to pretend to have sex a lot but at no time did breasts get touched.

Conversations with Friends comes out soon so will be interesting to see if that’s similar.

boatyardblues · 06/03/2022 23:11

Funny sex scenes are, well, funny. There's a very amusing al fresco sex scene in Destination Wedding - Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder getting it on. It’s funny because it’s not remotely sexy and seems more truthful about what sex in such an unpromising location would be like in real life. 😂

TheLeadbetterLife · 06/03/2022 23:17

Funny sex scenes are more realistic, because in real life sex is not sexy, and there’s often a lot of laughing.

One of the best ever sex scenes is the one between Joe and Kira in This Life, where he struggles to remove her top, puts a condom on and then she laughs all the way through it.

All the beautiful bodies angling themselves like Greek statues and taking it all so seriously are bloody ridiculous.

Sunnytwobridges · 06/03/2022 23:21

I agree there are way too many. I can only recall a few that I actually enjoyed or felt like they weren't too graphic. It used to be only movies but even TV shows are going too far in my opinion.

And I saw All I See is You and there was def too many which wasn't even necessary to the plot.

XelaM · 06/03/2022 23:58

Just saw "The Innocent" based on Harlem Coban's novel and there was absolutely zero point to include a graphic wanking scene in there, but there it was in great detail

MangyInseam · 07/03/2022 00:05

Why on earth would you be sad? 🤔

It's acting. And it was amazingly done, as well as beautifully shot & directed.

There is a reason that once actresses become well established a lot of them stop doing nudity. It's only at that point that it's a fairly straightforward choice. Before that there is a real sense that refusing such roles means they won't get a beak or will not get enough work to get by.

And there is also a reason that writers and directors aren't including a lot of sex scenes for the octogenarian couples or the ugly weirdo characters. It really isn't mainly about the storytelling, it's about commodification of sex and the bodies of the actors - mainly the women.

Ther ewas an interview with Maggie Smith a while ago where she commented on the ubiquity of sex scenes and nudity now - she said that if she was a young actress, she didn't think she could make a go of it because she wouldn't be comfortable with all of that.

How many talented young actresses don't end up making a career of it because of this kind of problem? It's also not difficult to see a connection between someone saying, you can only get this role if you are willing to get naked and simulate sex in front of the camera, and you can have this role if you'll get your tits out right now.

Sobeyondthehills · 07/03/2022 00:16

[quote ApocalypseNowt]@Sobeyondthehills I'm pretty sure I watched that film!

If it's the one I'm thinking of, it was a dinosaur. When the POV was the dinosaur everything had a green filter on it.

And there was a reeeeeally long sex scene right in the middle (they were having sex in the back of a flat bed truck iirc & the dinosaur was watching them).

Dino let them finish before attacking Grin[/quote]
Any chance they were near a river when it was happening from what you remember.

It really bugs me, but I am glad someone else watches the same shite I do

EarringsandLipstick · 07/03/2022 00:41

Before that there is a real sense that refusing such roles means they won't get a beak or will not get enough work to get by.

That wasn't remotely the case in Normal People.

Their physical relationship was core to the storytelling.

EarringsandLipstick · 07/03/2022 00:44

And it's actors. For both sexes. Not actresses.

For sure, there are undoubted challenges with unethical and coercive approaches to film-making, as Me Too clearly demonstrated.

But sex is a part of life. And stories on film should include it, but it needs to be truthful and part of the narrative arc. Once it is, I don't have an issue.

fallfallfall · 07/03/2022 00:45

they are included for the men who have limited ability to think beyond the penis.