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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What are the rudest/funniest things people have ever said to you?

336 replies

Janeyjacke · 06/03/2022 09:11

Mine were a friend in high school (we were around 15) "You'd be so pretty if only you got your teeth fixed."
I have a long European surname, and my first name has 3 syllabes. I phoned up about a job once, told the guy my full name. He repeated it to me as a question, and then laughed down the phone at it.

Told by my abusive ex partner several years ago that I was 'nothing', and a 'parasite'. I had done nothing to warrant this.

Not really rude but just amusing, when I was 27 a friend's partner told me that if I wanted to have kids I'd really better hurry up 'with my age'. Would be interested to hear others.

OP posts:
MardyOldGoth · 07/03/2022 02:08

Uni flatmate, when I arrived home after a failed shopping trip for jeans. 'They should make jeans that fit everyone - thin girls like me, curvy girls like other flatmate, and fat girls like you!'

I was a size 14 at the time. Wish I was still a 'fat girl'. Grin

RyeAndAir · 07/03/2022 02:31

I was visiting DM and my young DS spilled his drink over my pants, so it looked like I'd wet myself. I asked DM if I could borrow some trousers or a skirt to walk home in and she came back out with a queen sized bed sheet "as you've STILL not lost the baby weight". I bloody had, she just has form for this sort of thing.

FoggySpecs · 07/03/2022 02:39

I've always had a round bottom, my MIL said, "Don't worry dear, huge bottoms like Kim Kardashian', are very fashionable now." FWIW it is not very big and hers has always been droopy according to DH Grin

MessedOfTimes · 07/03/2022 02:46

Slightly different, but definitely one of the most amusing confrontations I’ve witnessed:

Recently, our over-the-road neighbours were having a raucous argument in their front yard with their father. He’d just that day acquired a hand-cranked car.
“Well, if you’re not going to be mature about”, says the Dad.
Cue stomping over to said car, winding the crank to get it started, then waiting for the engine to warm up enough for him to make his dramatic, slow-as-molasses exit. He evidently got bored whilst waiting, as he went back for a few more choice words before departure, then off he rolled, parp-parping the horn and giving little regal waves to us as he trundled past.

Buddywoo · 07/03/2022 06:09

Showing my daughter's wedding photos at work and a colleague said 'How did someone like you manage to have such a beautiful daughter?'

Chasingaftermidnight · 07/03/2022 06:59

Astonishing that so many women have low self-esteem.

OmgIThinkILikeYou · 07/03/2022 07:04

When sorting out my contraceptive pill, I got on the scales and the nurse did a horrifed double take then said "wow, you're heavier than you look!" I was only 19 and it has stayed with me for years!

Howareyouflower · 07/03/2022 07:17

I worked in a group home with a really lovely team, and we had a lot of fun, lots of practical jokes (on each other) to amuse the clients. I was in my forties and the oldest, and came in for my fair share.
One Christmas I was in the queue in the supermarket, chatting quietly with one of my workmates, when he suddenly said VERY loudly "What do you mean, it's not my baby??"

Theresamagicalplace · 07/03/2022 07:22

Not said so much as did. I was talking to an old boss about general ditziness and was about to say "I am quite smart but I do some really daft things sometimes", got as far as smart and she laughed in my face 🙃. Don't get me wrong I do do some really stupid things or ask silly questions without engaging my brain sometimes but at the time I was studying for a degree alongside full time work so hardly thick as shit.

IsAnybodyListening · 07/03/2022 07:37

I have long (down to bottom level) naturally curly hair.

I wore it in a pony twisted to a bun one day in the summer for work. Colleague quipped 'Your hair is quite fine actually, not as thick as I thought it was'

Said out of no where, then she didn't speak to me much after that. Back handed hair envy?!

SedentaryCat · 07/03/2022 07:41

My polite, well-spoken, MIL during what turned out to be he first throes of dementia said to me: 'And you can bugger off too!'. Always suspected she didn't think I was good enough Grin

MoonOnASpoon · 07/03/2022 07:48

OmgIThinkILikeYou that happens to me too. I’ve been told (by medical people) that it is possible to have “big bones” and/or be naturally muscular which make you more “dense” for your size. According to BMI I’m a bit overweight but doctors always tell me I’m not and don’t need to lose weight. Don’t let it get to you!

MamaNeedsTea · 07/03/2022 07:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gingerhills · 07/03/2022 08:10

@SedentaryCat

My polite, well-spoken, MIL during what turned out to be he first throes of dementia said to me: 'And you can bugger off too!'. Always suspected she didn't think I was good enough Grin
I don't know that dementia reveals true feelings about people. IME it seems more random than that.
savethatkitty01 · 07/03/2022 08:54

Met one of DH's mates for the first time, I was about 28weeks pregnant. He was in town for work for 6weeks, in that time saw him a few times. Cue 34 weeks pregnant, he knocks on the door, I answer. Friend (slightly tipsy) says " wow, you're huge". We stand there for seems an eternity, just looking at one another. In my head, I'm trying to process what he's just said, I'm thinking "did he really just say that"? "Did he just call me fat"?. In his mind you could see him thinking "whoops". Anyway, after what seemed an eternity of me looking at him like a stunned rabbit, I burst out laughing, hysterically. Still good friends now. Thanks DH for introducing us

CIaireFraser · 07/03/2022 09:32

MIL two days before I married her son - 'You've really piled the weight on since you met [DH], it's a shame, you'd have looked lovely in your wedding photos if you hadn't'

(I'd net DH a year earlier and at the time I weighed under seven stone and was being treated for anorexia)

Random bloke in Asda, as I looked at shampoos - 'Doesn't matter what you do to your hair pet, you'll still be ugly cos you're so fat'

(I was eight months pregnant)

millytilly34 · 07/03/2022 09:58

Just wanted to put a funny one on as I am so saddened by the cruelty others have had inflicted in them by idiots.😡
I was I a shop in the northern mill town where I live and a man came up and kept asking me how to make the perfect version of various recipes! I don't even cook!
It turned out he had mistaken me for a super posh television chef!
I said, in my strong Lancashire accent, 'I'm not her love, I don't even know how to cook. Also I don't reckon she shops in Poundland'.
He then refused to believe me and continued asking me for cooking help!
I look nothing like this tv chef and I wonder what was wrong with him. He wasn't joking, he was quite offended that I was 'being mean to a fan'. He seemed mentally well apart from this, not drunk/suffering from dementia/mental illness, maybe just didn't have his glasses on or was going blind but you'd think my common accent would have given it away.
I then gave in and made complete lies up about how to cook a perfect apple crumble and 'beef bourgin-something or other'.
I've no idea how to cook one, I've only ever bought readymade. God knows how the hell his pudding turned out! 🤣
When I got to the till the lass behind it had overheard and said 'you look nowt like that lady and f knows what his tea is gonna taste like now.' 😂
I fear I poisoned a man... 🤣

Squiff70 · 07/03/2022 10:43

@CIaireFraser

MIL two days before I married her son - 'You've really piled the weight on since you met [DH], it's a shame, you'd have looked lovely in your wedding photos if you hadn't'

(I'd net DH a year earlier and at the time I weighed under seven stone and was being treated for anorexia)

Random bloke in Asda, as I looked at shampoos - 'Doesn't matter what you do to your hair pet, you'll still be ugly cos you're so fat'

(I was eight months pregnant)

I had tears in my eyes reading that! I Hope you're doing much better now despite suffering such cruel comments FlowersBear
butnobodytoldme · 07/03/2022 11:08

@Rrrob

FIL said DH and I were genetically incompatible after dd was born (unexpectedly) seriously ill. I will never forgive him.
Oh love you are still hurting yourself and almost certainly with no reason. Your words " I will never forgive him" mean such pain in your heart it comes off the page.

Would you mind if I tried to suggest an alternative interpretation? When he spoke, your brain was not in an academic lecture hall, calmly, rationally and dispasionately assessing bits of information, selecting various interpretations or conclusions to be drawn.

At that moment, when you were raw with sensitivity after the shock and worry of the birth, of course your brain was very liable to be hyper-protective, hyper-defensive, shoot first and ask questions later.

The man probably had a half-grasp of scientific knowledge, which wasn't intended as an insult of some kind. He could easily have heard some scrap of information about genetics. He might have vaguely comprehended and that in a large range of inherited conditions, either parent would not pass on the gene, provided they did not marry someone who was also, unknowingly, a carrier of the same, recescent, gene.

What he possibly had not grasped is that just because a baby is born ill, it does not automatically suggest the illness is genetic. And in any case, even for some genetic conditions, there is huge complexity about the outcome of the parental pairing matches.

Isn't it far more likely the FIL was, yes, clumsy, hastily-spoken, and half-informed, but not ill-intentioned at all? His brain, too, was in its own however dim way, only half working that day. He too must have been horribly shocked and frightened, when he heard his grand-daughter had turned up in the world unexpectedly, and seriously ill.

Everyone of us is at times tactless, ill-informed , the more so when our brains are fogged up with emotion. If you re-interpret FIL's words as only that, clumsiness, not as deliberately intended malice, it will remove the burden and pain you still feel.

Ellaraine · 07/03/2022 15:47

All mil ones

When I first met you were so slim ,with long hair and beautiful clothes,you will get back to that.

When you lose the weight you will look better

You better watch your weight girl

On announcing my second pregnancy she told me she wasn't congratulating me.

Purposefully singled out my dead fathers name and said she hated that name.

At sils wedding,a year after mine and she said, she's the most beautiful bride I've ever seen.

Far too many to list them all.

TheHaka · 07/03/2022 15:57

Many years ago I was in a club & got chatting to the owner. He said “You’re the best looking lassie I’ve seen in years, if you got yourself a little room you’d make a fortune”. I think it was supposed to be a compliment.

KylieCharlene · 07/03/2022 16:09

When DH's nephew was a baby Mil told us that the baby was "the best and most beautiful baby we've had born into our family".
Completely ignoring our two small beautiful children who were in the room.

CurryLover56 · 07/03/2022 16:15

I always try to make new people welcome, whether it’s at work or in my circle of friends. Basically, I treat people as I would like to be treated. I was known as the Mother Hen in one job. That’s why this always sticks with me, even though it was over 30 years ago. I was with some guys I’d known for a fair while & one of them brought along a girl on a night out. We were in the taxi & she was talking about someone I didn’t know. The others laughed & I joined in to be polite. The girl immediately snapped “ Do you know Tony?” & when I said no she snapped again “ Well why are you laughing then?” It was so far away from how I spoke to people that I was too shocked to respond. Just completely unnecessary.

LaBrujaPiruja · 07/03/2022 16:38

Not to me, but a friend (friend 1 / F1) was told (by another friend of us) that it was great that F1s two daughters were so pretty given F1 and her husband were the parents. It was supposed to be a compliment.

ivfbabymomma1 · 07/03/2022 17:03

I used to work in a hotel and an elderly lady came in every week for Sunday lunch by herself and she used to tear into me every single week. By the end I used to find it funny. Some of her comments:

  • you can't be English I don't believe you where are you from? (I am English with no other heritage or background)
  • your not doing a very good job are you?
  • your hair needs a good brush
  • are you hungover? You look it (I wasn't)
  • you need to do your make up properly
  • have you found a man yet? (I was 17)

There was loads more but I can't think it was over 15 years ago 😂

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