To have used a MALAPROPISM

[Monty27]

To try to impress on date 😲
And the date laughed at it, I went scarlet and wanted the earth to open and swallow me up.
What's yours or a friend's, family? What's your experience of this please tell me I'm not alone 😱😂

I pronounced moustache mushtash for years. Only realised when my friends at university started laughing!

My husband and I say 'does the pope shit in the woods', after someone muddled the two phrases together many years previously. Its been so long that neither of us can remember who said it, but it's a firm favourite now!

mum's pal was a huge fan of Sofia Loren but always pronounced it Sophie Lorraine

That reminds me of a lady I know who reads a lot of "Daniel Steel" - and to redress the balance, a man I used to work with in Devon who always referred to the village of Stoke Gabriel as Stoke Gabrielle.

Remember Hylda Baker?

DSIS aged about 4 told her teacher, in front of my Mum, that the cat caught a mouse and ate it all apart from the mouse's testicles, which it left on the doormat.
It was the intestines.

At sea world, a woman pointed to the octopus stuck to the glass and shouted, oh look at the testicles on that. Poor lady then went rather red and strutted through the laughter of all around saying I mean tentacles. Not quite the same as more a mistake but thought I'd tell it cos its so funny.

Years ago I was drawn into a political discussion in a pub with some men I didn't know. Realised when I got home that I'd referred several times to the record of proceedings in Harvard.

😔

Also my Dad can't get the hang of the covid/corona vocabulary."
He says "Corvid" and "Pizza vaccine".

I went out with quite a posh, well to do chap when I was about 20. We were walking in London and he pointed to an upmarket (in those days) restaurant and said "How about there?". I said (trying to impress) "Oh, yes, I love a brassiere"! He laughed his socks off!

Ex MIL said to her hairdresser "i'll have a blow job" meabing blow dry

I had an American BF, & I told him - & his American friends - that I had made a training film that day.

Shock, horror, embarrassment all round.
Apparently "training film" is US slang for a porno film.

I told someone that I had difficulty putting shitted feets on my bed.

I had a lovely patient years ago, who amongst other things was having an 'MFI scan on her sarcophagus ".

You’d think I’d know the difference between a malapropism and a spoonerism at my age…

My granny - bless her soul - referred to ‘cheese burglars’ as long as I knew her when she was alive and no one ever had the heart to correct her. I still have to restrain myself from saying it sometimes if I’m in a chippy and it comes into my head

I used to work in a food shop and had a lovely gentleman ask me to tell him where the 'decimated coconut' was. I did correct him politely and we had a giggle.

@ChattanoogaShoeShoe

I once knew a lovely person who had a job interview in a prison. Half way through her comprehensive PowerPoint presentation on "penile reform" she realised a basic proof reading of the slides would have saved a lot of chortling from the panel...

I think this is one of the best things I've read on MN

When I was waitressing and explaining to a table of 14 ( including children) than we had Red Snapoer with a ‘porno’ cream sauce (Pernod) oh the shame. 😂😂💕

I bet they thought it was cute. Haha

It was my younger brother's turn to decide where we would eat out. He said "lesbian food." He meant "Lebanese" food. We continue to tease them about it

@VK456

I told someone that I had difficulty putting shitted feets on my bed.

Reminds me of an ancient thread on here where someone in a busy waiting room with a whingeing toddler told him affectionately that he was being a ‘whiny tinker’, only it came out as ‘tiny wanker’.

My grandmother would often refer to Mrs So-and-So "You know, her with the dildo rails".

My son once told me we must be psychopathic when we both thought of the same thing simultaneously.

In primary school, doing work on diseases. I listed pandemonium instead of pneumonia.

@BlueVixen

I went out with quite a posh, well to do chap when I was about 20. We were walking in London and he pointed to an upmarket (in those days) restaurant and said "How about there?". I said (trying to impress) "Oh, yes, I love a brassiere"! He laughed his socks off!

I get brasserie and brassiere mixed up all the time.

Which would be fine.

Except that I write about restaurants for a job.