Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you screamed or stayed silent in labour?

625 replies

WibbleWobbleWibble · 05/03/2022 18:14

The other night I was watching an old episode of call the midwife with my mum and dad. Both of the women giving birth were screaming the place down and it got us chatting.........my brother was born at home and my dad said he never heard a sound from my mum even though he was in the next room (1971 dads were not welcome in the delivery room).
My mum said that she couldn't identify with the screaming woman as she went quiet when she was in labour, I was the same, I went quiet and didn't say a word during both my deliveries.
Judging by TV and movie representations of women giving birth everyone screams! I think just as many women stay quiet as scream, it's whatever works for you ..........

YANBU I didn't scream
YABU I screamed the place down

OP posts:
Girlmumdogmumboymum · 06/03/2022 09:55

I grunted. Was oretty quiet.

LJAKS · 06/03/2022 09:59

I ended up with a section but while the dr was elbow deep there were some choice phrases shouted 🤷‍♀️ im having a planned section next month, hopefully no need this time 😂

Steelesauce · 06/03/2022 10:00

All 3 labours fast and furious (under 3 hours each). Screamed out of sheer terror first time, 2nd time I panicked and shouted a lot until I got my hands on the gas and air. 3rd I was pretty chilled having done it twice before and just puffed on gas and air like my life depended on it.

NoddyMcdoddy · 06/03/2022 10:01

I had an epidural and bitterly regretted it as it resulted in a forcep delivery, episiotomy and a lot of stitches, so no screaming from me. I cried with frustration at nurses yelling at me to push and warnings that I was going to be rushed for an emergency c-section.

AchillesHeelys · 06/03/2022 10:17

@ButtercupOfFlorin

And whenever I read smug arses saying “Oh I didn’t have so much as a paracetamol” I always think ‘more fool you’.

I mean you could be in pain, or you could be in less pain. Why would you choose the former?
Either

A. You think martyring yourself and tolerating pain = being a superior human, probably because we live in a patriarchy and women are socialised to believe their suffering is not only normal, but a good thing, or
B. You’re really fucking stupid

The trouble is a lot of the pain relief options aren’t actually that appealing as they come with potential side effects for mother and baby. So you have to weigh the need for pain relief against the potential downsides.

With my first (drip induction) the pain was so great that the need for an epidural outweighed the risk of needing assistance with delivery, I felt.

With my second, the pain was much more manageable so it didn’t feel worth having anything more than paracetamol.

It’s not martyrdom or stupidity, it’s having to choose from a range of poor choices, and some women will decide that they’re better off without anything.

TheGoogleMum · 06/03/2022 10:30

I didnt scream but I wasn't quiet. Moaning in pain a lot

89redballoons · 06/03/2022 10:35

Amazed that a majority didn't scream. I spent most of my pushing phase (almost 2 hours) mooing into the gas and air. I guess everyone's different!

FurbleSocks · 06/03/2022 10:37

I always thought I'd swear and shout like a trooper because I get ratty when I'm in pain.

I just went really quiet and just said 'it really hurts'. A complete change from my usual demeanor but I wonder whether it impacted on how seriously my pain was taken.

Heartofglass12345 · 06/03/2022 10:42

I don't think I screamed. Although I did shout very loudly for my husband out of the toilet door when they told me they were about to put me on a ward as my labour apparently wasn't progressing, I thought I was going to push him out on the toilet!
I don't remember much of either of them to be honest, I'm sure I was loud when pushing though, there was a tiny person coming out of there Grin

wearewizardsofoz · 06/03/2022 10:43

Quiet until transition then more moaning and groaning rather than screaming.

DropYourSword · 06/03/2022 10:43

I didn't scream once. It would have taken up far too much energy, and it wasn't that kind of pain.
I did surprise myself with some fairly ungainly mooing though!

DropYourSword · 06/03/2022 10:54

@Leilala

Sat up to have an epidural and she was born a few minutes later! Didn’t so much as have a paracetamol and I didn’t make a noise either! All seems a bit dramatic to scream I mean it hurts the same regardless of what noise you make (or don’t) Hmm
All seems a bit narrow minded to not recognise different people have different experiences.
Crunchymum · 06/03/2022 10:57

DC1 the MW told me I was wasting valuable energy by making so much noise.

DC2 MW told me off for swearing (it wasn't directed at anyone. Kind of 'it fucking hurts so much' ..... 'fuck I need to push') MW said "don't swear, you don't want the the first words your baby hears to be bad words". She got told to fuck off.

DC3 - I was moved about a fair bit during my induction. After waters went and we had to nab some random MW walking along the corridor, I was moved via wheelchair - naked and howling - to the delivery room. Baby came within minutes.

  • naked but covered with some kind of sheet.

All vaginal deliveries with G&A.

So turns out I'm quite noisy in labour Grin

IndecisiveAnnie · 06/03/2022 11:15

For posters who had an epidural and are going on about no screaming - that's thanks to the epidural, not your superior birthing abilities. Similarly those who had short labours - 20 minutes of pushing i could have coped with!

Thank you to the poster who shared she had two 'manageable' births and then one incredibly painful one, it helps to know some births are just different (take note the self-described 'smug and well-behaved' Envy not envy @FuzzyPuffling) Gas and air made me vomit and feel awful so pethidine early-ish then shrill screaming from me which surprised me, but I did have 2.5 hours of pushing, failed ventouse, forceps, 2nd degree tear and episiotomy. Sure that was my own fault for forgetting my hypnobirthing and being weak though eh

NameChange30 · 06/03/2022 11:17

I had short labours and they were very intense and painful, I was noisy.

IndecisiveAnnie · 06/03/2022 11:18

Oh yes and rushed in a gown in a wheelchair with baby crowning from the birth centre to labour ward, it felt like I was snapping both my baby's body and mine to get in the wheelchair and then on my back in stirrups. Just shouting 'get it out of me' for quite a while too apparently. Poor DS!

Crunchymum · 06/03/2022 11:27

Wish I'd read a bit more of the thread before I'd posted.

Is there nothing women won't compete about on MN? Competitive labour quietness must be a new one?

Also the judgement, blimey. Just because YOU didn't make any noise doesn't mean others had the same experience.

SnowFoxWinterFox · 06/03/2022 11:37

[quote georgarina]@TizerorFizz you're not always given an epidural when you ask for one.[/quote]
Yes that is true true true. For my second the lovely MW hissed in my ear early on 'if you think you might need an epidural let us know now, because the anaesthetist is clocking off in 20 minutes'. ' Not sure what would have happened to those women going into labour after he had left. Oh yes, I am sure what would have happened. Like my best friend they would have been told no-one was available.

thewhatsit · 06/03/2022 12:02

@Crunchymum

Wish I'd read a bit more of the thread before I'd posted.

Is there nothing women won't compete about on MN? Competitive labour quietness must be a new one?

Also the judgement, blimey. Just because YOU didn't make any noise doesn't mean others had the same experience.

Yes I’ve found a few of the comments - “you’re not delivering an elephant” / “I guess some women just feel pain more than others…” / “try walking around” a bit off. Well I’m sorry childbirth hurt me so much…

For whatever reason, I didn’t have any pain relief save for a bit of gas and air, and it was something that I felt surprisingly strongly about in labour (I hadn’t expected to feel so strongly about it). It felt like I needed to fully know and feel everything I was going through .. I’m sure a lot of people don’t understand that, and that’s fine. The amount of pain was indescribable. I’m glad not all women had that but it doesn’t make me weak that I did.

CoalCraft · 06/03/2022 12:21

I don't believe anyone can have their vagina being stretched to however many times it's normal size while the head and body are actually emerging and not make a single sound. I definitely generated a few decibels then! That was the only time I made much noise though. It didn't really hurt before then.

a12356777 · 06/03/2022 12:53

Screamed and sobbed once the induction drip kicked in something wasn’t right ..felt like my insides were being carved out with a knife. Horrific.

Onlywomengivebirth · 06/03/2022 13:10

Totally silent.

I’m the same If do something really painful to myself…stub my toe on a rock etc. I went over on my foot once and broke it. I doubled over in pain and did that sucky in air thing through my teeth. But I don’t tend to cry out.

Mossstitch · 06/03/2022 13:18

Totally quiet, quite honestly I don't understand how anybody has the energy or breath to waste screaming🙄

nuffinimlazyatthemoment · 06/03/2022 13:19

I didn't make a noise giving birth but I screamed the ward down when I was stitched up afterwards with no anaesthetic. My husband, who had missed the birth due to the incompetence of the staff, said he could hear me from two floors down.

ladygindiva · 06/03/2022 13:20

Loads of noise and I swore like a navvy. It was a fast labour with only gas and air though.