To ask if you screamed or stayed silent in labour?

[WibbleWobbleWibble]

The other night I was watching an old episode of call the midwife with my mum and dad. Both of the women giving birth were screaming the place down and it got us chatting.........my brother was born at home and my dad said he never heard a sound from my mum even though he was in the next room (1971 dads were not welcome in the delivery room).
My mum said that she couldn't identify with the screaming woman as she went quiet when she was in labour, I was the same, I went quiet and didn't say a word during both my deliveries.
Judging by TV and movie representations of women giving birth everyone screams! I think just as many women stay quiet as scream, it's whatever works for you ..........

YANBU I didn't scream
YABU I screamed the place down

I am quiet through pain, did a bit of a growl at the pushing stage with our 10lb 12oz boy because his shoulders got a bit stuck. Laboured with 4 out of 5 term pregnancies.

I bellowed like a Mama bear

Epidural for both. Went to sleep mid labour for first and had to be woken up as she needed to be born! Second was quicker and again it was painless. Suited me 100%. I heard other women screaming which made me wonder why they wanted that for themselves. However I made my decision based on seeing births on tv. Going to sleep is the best thing!

During labour I talked. A lot. About the most random stuff. The drugs were great I told the midwife all about my primary school best friend and all sorts because I was high as a kite. Then absolute silence while I was pushing.

I had gas and air. Didn't scream at all but it was bloody painful!

I definitely moaned/screamed...didn't really think about it, was just my natural reaction to the process. Not out of fear or panic, I was calm and just wrapped up in the intensity of it. I had hypnobirthing tapes with my second which helped keep me more grounded than the first time, but yeah wouldn't have been able to be quiet.

I didn’t scream. But simply for me it was because I was in so much pain I literally couldn’t.
People deal in different ways I suppose.

I screamed for hours! I also tried to go home!

Neither. I kept saying ‘I don’t like this’ and ‘I can’t do this’ over and over again.

First one I just screamed my lungs out, also said things that would make me blush now. Rude words.
Second one I just concentrated on breathing.lots of grunting and moaning but no screaming.

It has always mystified me as to why women find it ok to be in such pain during child birth. I wanted to avoid that at all costs. I simply don’t understand it.

Mooed like a cow apparently

With my first I stayed quiet . I wanted to be alone in the dark with no noise and I was completely silent until I started pushing . No epidural.

With my second I screamed and screamed and screamed . I don’t think the pain was worse though . Kinda weird . I didn’t feel in control , I remember that . I got an epidural at 9cms . I really had to beg for it though as I was so far along.

@TizerorFizz it wasn’t a choice! The cons of very fast labours.

@3ormoredogs
I do understand that but most people seem to be happy to experience pain and think it is what women must do. The first birth is rarely short. I valued my pain free sleep!

For me it was literally just the transition and pushing that was very painful. I genuinely didn't feel like I needed much pain relief until that point (and I realise how lucky I was there). The painful bit was mercifully short. With my first I did have pethidine that did nothing anyway. So yeah definitely not me thinking I had to be in pain, I'd have happily had whatever drugs were on offer if the Labour itself was too painful.

I didnt scream, I grunted a bit during pushing. And at one stage begged the MW to examine me because I was so sure I could be fully dilated. She didn't want to, as she'd only checked me an hour before, but I felt I must be almost 10cm. (Was right).

@TizerorFizz I understand what you’re saying, however my labour was short, no epidural, and I was discharged home to my own bed after 6 hours. Had I had an epidural, I’d have to sleep on the ward overnight, which would have been a personal hell, and also increased the risk of instrumental delivery.
It’s all about weighing up what’s best for you - in your case that was sleep!

I hardly made a sound during labour with both of my DS’. I was very introverted, I had natural births with no pain relief with both of them.

I don’t see the need to rush home either. I note the “normal” birth promoted by the RCM has been dropped as unsafe for some women. Yet still we see no intervention as better than other methods of delivery. A hierarchy amongst women. The ones who have intervention are second class.

@TizerorFizz

It has always mystified me as to why women find it ok to be in such pain during child birth. I wanted to avoid that at all costs. I simply don’t understand it.

Personally I don't understand why someone would choose something that comes with the risk of permanent damage to the spinal cord, leaving them with numbness down both legs, rather than a couple of hours of intense but manageable pain that doesn't come with those side effects.

Each to their own I guess.

I kind of grunted and groaned when pushing but apart from that suffered mostly in silence. A mixture!

@TizerorFizz you're not always given an epidural when you ask for one.

@TizerorFizz there’s just no need for your judgemental tone. Like I said, I’d rather my own bed. With my own family (who by the way were not permitted to be with me during my labour) I was completely ignored by the midwives during labour, so why on earth would I want to stay on a ward and be ignored some more?! We were actually waiting around to be discharged. There was no need for me to stay 🤷‍♀️

But yes if you needed that extra support that’s also fine. Women have to make choices for themselves.

@TizerorFizz

It has always mystified me as to why women find it ok to be in such pain during child birth. I wanted to avoid that at all costs. I simply don’t understand it.

Not a choice to be in that much pain!!! No time for an epidural.