To ask if you screamed or stayed silent in labour?

[WibbleWobbleWibble]

The other night I was watching an old episode of call the midwife with my mum and dad. Both of the women giving birth were screaming the place down and it got us chatting.........my brother was born at home and my dad said he never heard a sound from my mum even though he was in the next room (1971 dads were not welcome in the delivery room).
My mum said that she couldn't identify with the screaming woman as she went quiet when she was in labour, I was the same, I went quiet and didn't say a word during both my deliveries.
Judging by TV and movie representations of women giving birth everyone screams! I think just as many women stay quiet as scream, it's whatever works for you ..........

YANBU I didn't scream
YABU I screamed the place down

@leilala Take your post and shove it up your smug arse.
Each labouring woman deals with her pain differently. Some scream, some moo, some cry, some whimper, some are quiet. They get through it in the way that works for them.
So shove your idiot opinion up your arse and swivel.

@Leilala

Sat up to have an epidural and she was born a few minutes later! Didn’t so much as have a paracetamol and I didn’t make a noise either! All seems a bit dramatic to scream I mean it hurts the same regardless of what noise you make (or don’t)

Would you say this to someone having their arms cut off or is it only labouring women who are being drama queens?

Seriously why are women always fair game?

And whenever I read smug arses saying “Oh I didn’t have so much as a paracetamol” I always think ‘more fool you’.

I mean you could be in pain, or you could be in less pain. Why would you choose the former?
Either

A. You think martyring yourself and tolerating pain = being a superior human, probably because we live in a patriarchy and women are socialised to believe their suffering is not only normal, but a good thing, or
B. You’re really fucking stupid

Epidural with DS1 so a nice quiet birth. Too far gone for any pain relief for DS2 so screamed my head off!

I didn't scream. Despite lots of therapy I associate making noise in pain with "if you don't shut up, I'll give something to really cry about" and I'm not sure I physically can.

I think it contributed to the rubbish care I received with dc1 because they wouldn't accept my pain levels because apparently if I was in that much pain, I'd be screaming. He was pressing against something so painful it made the recovery from the emcs I eventually ended up easy with no need for meds from day 1. Every contraction was in my back and legs and even when I finally got a working epidural I still could feel every contraction in my right leg. Never experienced pain like it.

Both. DC1 gruesome and very screamy. DC2 silent - in denial that I was doing it all again. The silent birth was much easier - mainly due to me being in control. For DC1's birth I lost the control after the first scream.

Involuntary mooing/moaning to begin with, then by about hour 26 I did admittedly lose my head and had quite a panicked moment which wasn't full throated screaming as such but definitely more just.....full on yelling 'ahhhhhh, ahhhhh AHHHHH'. Got told off by the midwife for that one, still feel a bit resentful because yes, I didn't need to be making that noise but I was really frightened and exhausted and it could have been dealt with compassionately rather than quite so dispassionately and quite like a headteacher!

By the end it was just quiet anguished groans because I was so exhausted. I also wasn't allowed to push for two hours after I reached ten centimetres (weird reasons to do with lungs and not putting too much pressure on them). If you've never tried to do that let me tell you it is a challenge and groaning through every contraction weirdly helped with the overwhelming need to push (seriously it's like trying not to poo once the poo is already very very imminent)

Then the shit hit the fan and I don't really remember what sounds I was making but it was probably a mixture of crying, swearing and pleas for it to all stop as they wheeled me through the ward and corridors for a c section, vagina out and legs akimbo for the world to see

My second birth was an elcs so just some quiet chat with my mum and the medical team and a slight ooof when they pulled DS out because he was a big'un and took a bit of heaving!

I wasn’t a screamer but I definitely made some loudish noises, not quite sure what kind of noises exactly. Threw up a couple of times too so I’m sure that wasn’t quiet. My husband helpfully asked the L&D nurse why I wasn’t screaming yet. She replied that not everyone does scream and maybe I wasn’t a screamer. I’m not, it’s just not a natural noise for me.

That said, good god, if you need to scream just scream! Labour is painful and difficult and scary so whatever helps, right?! Same applies to pain management. If you don’t want it, totally fine but it’s there if you do (and are medically able to).

I either breathed through the pain (which weirdly helps) or was sucking on gas and air. And when pushing I didn't scream. Not because I was holding back but because I just didn't (which surprised me because if I stab my toe the whole street knows about it).

I mooed into the gas and air tube during labour and delivery
But I did start screaming 21 hours later when clotting bigger than DC!

I screamed. The midwives complained to each other about me. I made my only coherent comment in the whole process, "It bloody hurts!"

I was quiet and deep breathing, during the pushing I made like a low growl but not really that loud

I swore a lot.

I may have been moaning with the pain at times, I was in labour for 48 hours, and then they decided to induce me, as my baby was getting stressed after a long labour. After being induced, everything went very quickly, and the pain was horrendous then.

I screamed! Second birth - Natural water birth but I almost ripped my ex husbands t shirt from him! First one, in hospital my ex H asked me if he could do anything - I told him to get a gun so I could shoot myself! He didn't, I did t and she's 22 now.

I had an epidural so I was pretty quiet. Pre epidural I would groan through the contractions. I did hear other woman giving birth in other rooms though! Really awful low pitched scream/groans as they were presumably pushing the baby out 😮
I was so pleased I had my epidural when I heard them!

Reading the posts about precipitous births is reassuring as I thought I was being a complete wuss. It was like being hit by a train as someone said earlier.
I was completely ignored during my pandemic birth by midwives. It happened so quickly and my contractions were “mild to palpate” (for them).
I was in so much pain I couldn’t move or speak other than to ask for pain relief which they denied and walked away. I knew at one point my baby was coming as I let out an involuntary groan. Was trying to stay quiet for the women on the ward sleeping.
Looking back I don’t know how I did it, and I do wonder what it will be like next time!

Epidural with the first and a long, long labour, I was worn out and didn't have the energy to push, never mind scream.

Second time, very fast, no pain relief whatsoever due to unexpected speed, I screamed the baby out, it seemed to help.

No shrieking during my first labour, no noise whatsoever thanks to the epidural.

Second birth was back to back and baby was 10lbs4 so I was more audible. One of the midwives said she'll never forget that birth

I screamed with all 3 of mine. They were easy births, 2 of them at home. But the actual pushing bit I would say I had absolutely no control over what noise I was making. The screaming was completely involuntary. How odd that someone on here would judge that and call it dramatic. I mean, how can you even be dramatic about pushing a small human out of your body?? it's kind of a big deal...

I didn't scream at all.

I was in a pool though and that really helped. I think I did a few low "Arghs". Like hums.

When my youngest was crowning I gasped ah fuuuuuccckkk ...

But no screaming.

Yes. Mooing probably describes it best.

@Leilala

Sat up to have an epidural and she was born a few minutes later! Didn’t so much as have a paracetamol and I didn’t make a noise either! All seems a bit dramatic to scream I mean it hurts the same regardless of what noise you make (or don’t)

@leilala you asked for an epidural? God, how DRAMATIC. I didn't even consider one, can't you take a bit of a pain?

Not nice being on the other side of it is it? Judging women for how they cope with labour and birth makes you an absolute arsehole. I'd rather be considered dramatic than an absolute arsehole.

YANBU I didn't.

I was quiet during the "pushing" stage but did yelp a bit when DD decided to come out in 1 push and ripped me to pieces. None of this "I can see the head" stuff, more like "I can see....and she's out" .