To be tired of negative comments about curly hair?

[nothingbutsnow]

Just reading a thread from last year in Style & Beauty.
Most posters agreeing that 'curly hair is ageing' or 'most people look unhinged with curly hair'
Usual insults include 'mad art teacher', 'old hippy', 'mad ferret', etc.

And then there's the assumption that all curls belong in the 80's, or it is notoriously difficult to make natural curls look good.

And don't get me started on frizz. Apparently this is only ever a bad thing, and can't be an actual hair texture. So anyone who was born with hair that has a tendency to frizz (basically, porous hair) needs to get rid of it immediately or you'll look old, tired, terrible.
Spend hundreds on cosmetic shite to counteract it.

Anyone else sick to death of this? I don't even have curly hair but I think it's all a bit repressing. It's like current attitudes (for past 20 odd yrs now) are really straight laced and austere - anything considered wild, bohemian or flamboyant is BAD. Colourful is bad. Curls and wild, natural hair are bad! Some of these attitudes go much further than mere fashion trends.
Psychologically speaking, I actually think it says a lot about contemporary attitudes in our culture; an inability to relax, be natural or to even slightly digress from a somewhat conservative, fixed set of rules. And i also think this segues into other parts of life too, such as shopping, housing, life choices. It's all so very uptight and judgemental, and I do wish we could have some sort of renaissance of true diversity and going with the flow!

Well, I went from curly hair to a collapsed culture pretty quick there

I have thin flat hair and I try to make it frizzy or wild or messy to give it some body! Any 'product' I have ever used to attempt it just doesnt work

But in terms of how we view ourselves and fitting in with narrow parameters, that has been the case since the dawn of time, there is nothing specific about our day and age and in fact there is a lot more freedom now compared to 200/500/1000 years ago in terms of our roles and positions in society let alone what we look like. And that counts for all cultures across the globe.

I have very long curly hair and haven’t noticed this. So thanks for that OP, it’s nice to know know that people think I look old and unhinged!

My experience is the opposite of this tbh. I get compliments on my hair frequently, even from complete strangers.

Yep! And you’ve just summed up my massive insecurity about how I look for the last 30 years. Depressing really.

Psychologically speaking, I actually think it says a lot about contemporary attitudes in our culture; an inability to relax, be natural or to even slightly digress from a somewhat conservative, fixed set of rules. And i also think this segues into other parts of life too, such as shopping, housing, life choices. It's all so very uptight and judgemental, and I do wish we could have some sort of renaissance of true diversity and going with the flow!

Totally agree with this

My experience is the total opposite. People stop and turn heads with a gorgeous set of curls.

My children have curls.

DS has very curly hair and it’s ‘on trend’ for boys, he just happens to have a natural look whilst his friends pay for perms.

DD long curls, buys the right conditioner for it and it looks lovely - her BF has similar style and they look like twins!

Neither get negative comments, quite the opposite, DD often has people asking to touch it - which she finds rather weird!

I agree with you, actually. I've no issue with other people not liking curly hair as an individual aesthetic preference, but it's depressing to see a widespread set of negative cultural attributes attributed to curly hair. There's nothing inherently 'uncontrolled', ;'wild', or 'flamboyant' about a hair texture, and it shouldn't be viewed as 'ungroomed' because the owner of said hair hasn't chosen to straighten it poker straight.

Not noticed this apart from about frizzy but yes I’m sorry frizzy hair is not good at all, but not noticed it about curly hair I love curls, much prefer it to straight hair!

@FairyCakeWings

I have very long curly hair and haven’t noticed this. So thanks for that OP, it’s nice to know know that people think I look old and unhinged!

My experience is the opposite of this tbh. I get compliments on my hair frequently, even from complete strangers.

well ive never heard these insults in real life, so there's that! I must admit the weird comments are only on MN. God knows what it means.

YANBU and for what it's worth, I love 80s hair.

There’s a lot of weird stuff that only exists on MN.

My experience is the total opposite. All my life people have commented on my curly hair and said how lucky I am to have it. I'm now 60 and I don't think I've ever had a bad comment about it.

I do buy 'product' to tame the frizz sometimes but that's because I want lovely straight shiny hair like all my sisters have, not because they think mine is awful.

I have naturally curly hair and I hated it growing up, mainly because I didn't know what to do with it, wasn't really supported with hair care other than a brush being dragged through it whilst I cried, and kids at school used to bully me about it because it was shapeless and bushy.
But I tried to straighten it once in my late teens and I hated that too, I didn't look like me, plus my hair was so dry and awful. After that I embraced my curls, loosely follow the curly girl method although a bit more flexible with products.
My DD has the exact same hair as me and I make sure it's looked after properly and her hair is beautiful and she's never had a negative comment.
I haven't straightened by hair since, so nothing but curly for 25 years now and I love it. And when I get a bit of frizz I've learnt not to care.

Yes, i do prefer big hair too, perhaps not bon jovi-esque but sometimes it seems like the modern world has sucked out all the joy and abandon that hair had in the 70's 80's.

I have also read countless threads on here over the years where a curly haired poster (including black women with natural hair) report that they have been told to tone down their hair (ie, flatten it) for work.

people asking to touch - or worse, spring - my curls was the absolute WORST growing up. It made me feel like a dog being petted.

I don't disagree, curls have always been looked down on by many. It's quite racist really - the idea that only smooth hair is 'professional' has been said to me, wtaf.

We're just jealous. (Not that I've ever made bitchy comments about curly hair.)

I love curly hair. I covet it. Mine's poker straight. I spend ages twisting it to give it any shape at all.

Can you link to the thread? I’ve never heard any of these comments, I’d kill for curly hair (not literally but I’m so jealous of people I know with curly hair)

Yes i agree, people in 'real life' seem to compliment it, and yet online it's the other way....i wonder why.

@ineedsun

Can you link to the thread? I’ve never heard any of these comments, I’d kill for curly hair (not literally but I’m so jealous of people I know with curly hair)

It's a long one! Lots of shitty stuff in here about curls making her look old.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty/3941898-how-to-not-look-middle-aged

I haven't seen that thread and it sounds awful. As a pp says there are some really weird opinions on Mumsnet, especially on S&B.

There are always people who seem to believe that only long, straight, preferably blonde, hair is beautiful. It is an archaic idea which is rooted in western beauty ideals. I completely disagree! I love all sorts of hair and I personally look terrible with my hair straightened. I do get frizzy hair and probably do look a little unhinged on those days, but meh

Oh and straight hair can frizz too.There is nothing less appealing than flat, thin straight hair with static problems. I get that and it is way less attractive than frizz.

DS has just cut off his Robert Plant curls and I could have privately wept. Even DH said, I hope you gave them to charity. they are worth a fortune in wigs. But he didn't.

I've had loads of negative comments and was bullied for it too. called Bushy, pube head, told it looked 'a right mess', comments like 'what are you going to do about your hair' etc.

Just because it wasn't your experience doesn't mean it didn't happen. it was awful.

So you have straight hair and you're saying most people think I'm unhinged and bad?
Cheers Mate! 😂

My experience is the total opposite. All my life people have commented on my curly hair and said how lucky I am to have it. I'm now 60 and I don't think I've ever had a bad comment about it.

I agree - as the owner of poker straight hair that doesn't do anything, I have spent my life listening wistfully while my curly haired friends are complimented on their beautiful curls.

Interesting post op as I have actually not heard this! I tend to hear how amazing curly hair is.