To be tired of negative comments about curly hair?

[nothingbutsnow]

Just reading a thread from last year in Style & Beauty.
Most posters agreeing that 'curly hair is ageing' or 'most people look unhinged with curly hair'
Usual insults include 'mad art teacher', 'old hippy', 'mad ferret', etc.

And then there's the assumption that all curls belong in the 80's, or it is notoriously difficult to make natural curls look good.

And don't get me started on frizz. Apparently this is only ever a bad thing, and can't be an actual hair texture. So anyone who was born with hair that has a tendency to frizz (basically, porous hair) needs to get rid of it immediately or you'll look old, tired, terrible.
Spend hundreds on cosmetic shite to counteract it.

Anyone else sick to death of this? I don't even have curly hair but I think it's all a bit repressing. It's like current attitudes (for past 20 odd yrs now) are really straight laced and austere - anything considered wild, bohemian or flamboyant is BAD. Colourful is bad. Curls and wild, natural hair are bad! Some of these attitudes go much further than mere fashion trends.
Psychologically speaking, I actually think it says a lot about contemporary attitudes in our culture; an inability to relax, be natural or to even slightly digress from a somewhat conservative, fixed set of rules. And i also think this segues into other parts of life too, such as shopping, housing, life choices. It's all so very uptight and judgemental, and I do wish we could have some sort of renaissance of true diversity and going with the flow!

Well, I went from curly hair to a collapsed culture pretty quick there

Oh, I love curly hair!
Mine is straight & thin and the only hairstyle that seems to say is the just licked by the dog look!
Any careful styling is on a spring back timer that kicks in after around 60 minutes. Give or take a bit depending on the XXX Strong Hold used to force the hair out of its natural shape. (sigh)

I have curly hair, its frizzy and I am very scruffy! I've never heard any of those negative comments or insults though, I've had a lot of compliments over the years actually. I have a very love/hate relationship with my hair, I love the curls but my hair tangles very easily and is hard work, never does a thing I want it to so I just leave it loose to do its own thing now, its pretty wild and bushy and I probably do look quite unhinged!

I kind of get what you mean but I also think it’s a very particular kind of demographic that thinks like that.

I can’t find a way of saying this that doesn’t sound bitchy and judgemental so apologies if this comes out wrong. People who have views like this sound like they don’t have a lot going on in their lives and are a bit basic. I went to have a look at the tread and saw

• The OP describes themselves as fat and frumpy at 91/2 stone and 5 foot 7.

• Another poster says you need Botox, to wear heels and have professional manicures and threading to avoid being a frump.

They all sounds a bit nuts and dare I say it really old fashioned! Seriously seriously Viva Le difference!

@MyNameIsAngelicaSchuyler

I've had loads of negative comments and was bullied for it too. called Bushy, pube head, told it looked 'a right mess', comments like 'what are you going to do about your hair' etc.

Just because it wasn't your experience doesn't mean it didn't happen. it was awful.

Same It's bonkers. It's my hair, and that's the way it grows out of my head but it's "wrong"

After reading the rather sad post quoted above I’m wondering whether I do have the same type of curly hair, or curly hair at all. Maybe wavy would be a better description.

I was bullied ar school about my wavy hair too - overall I'd say I have 2B hair with a bit of 2A and 2C thrown in. Some bits are barely wavy and other bits are much wavier, almost a ringlet at the bottom when it's grown long enough. It's fine, low porosity with low-medium density - depending on what I do with it on washday it can look almost straight or wavy/curly.

At school I was picked on for 'not brushing your hair' 'looking like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards' etc. The same girls did this at primary and secondary.

I've also been told by recruiters to make sure I straightened it for job interviews so I would look 'polished'.

Now I'm in my 30s I am embracing it more - started the (modified) CGM in early lockdown and it's much healthier now. Most days I can't be bothered with mousse and gel etc. as I have arthritis and lack the energy although I must try brush styling sometime like some of the Insta people I follow. I just figure it grows out of my head the way it wants to and that's good enough for me.

As my previous post says, only had positive feedback about my hair but I’ve recently started using a curl- boosting, leave- in conditioner, applied to soaking wet hair ...,scrunch through then pat dry and leave to dry naturally. Amazing results and totally frizz -free !!

Someone told me my curly hair was unkempt recently ☹️
I actually put a lot of work into making it look nice.

I am also tired of feeling that the porosity of my hair is somehow wrong. People spend an absolute fortune fighting frizz, and if my hair is like this for normal reasons why the hell should i pay to change it?
It kind of bothers me that I am supposed to see it as ugly, when back in the 70's people tried to fucking manufacture it!
It is all obviously trend based, yet people parrot the rules as if they are sacrosanct. Nobody AT ALL nowadays defends or supports frizzy hair.

If I am healthy and care for my hair, and it is still frizzy, then it is healthy hair regardless how much i am supposed to currently loathe it. It is interesting to ask oneself how society's perceptions alter our own, and to what extent. If everyone suddenly adored frizz, made out that it was the pinnacle of hair health, just like our attitude to clothes we would soon jump on the bandwagon and agree - we always do.

I also love Kate Bush's hair from that time too.
And in the 'before/after' pic i much prefer the 'before' image. The other looks overstyled and high maintenance to me.

The best way to deal with frizz is to have a curly cut at the hair dressers, remove all silicone products - shampoo and conditioners are available for £1 in the cheap shops and work well, then use a leave in conditioner or even your own conditioner to add moisture to your hair. And don’t brush it!! You can brush before washing - but not inbetween.

It’s take DD a long time to get this method right and now lives her curls.

I’ve not noticed this tbh. I have mad sometimes frizzy curly hair that I straighten most of the time but when I leave it natural I get lots of positive comments about it and envy.

Agree, I've spent my entire career with straightened hair as I've bought into the idea that natural, curly hair is unprofessional.
Grown up with parents who kept asking, 'have you brushed your hair'. (Impossible to brush my hair unless wet).
Over lockdown I've had the odd day 'au natural' but the feeling of freedom soon gets spoilt but the constant comments, 'we have a new member of staff' 'is it natural'.
I can't bare the attention, so back to straightened hair I go. 8

@BluebellsGreenbells

The best way to deal with frizz is to have a curly cut at the hair dressers, remove all silicone products - shampoo and conditioners are available for £1 in the cheap shops and work well, then use a leave in conditioner or even your own conditioner to add moisture to your hair. And don’t brush it!! You can brush before washing - but not inbetween.

It’s take DD a long time to get this method right and now lives her curls.

I do all that but I still have frizz because that's my hair texture. It's very very fine and fragile and hates humidity This was this morning, it's tied up now as I barely wear it down because I worry about it being frizzy/messy because of the comments I've had all my life. It's easier to just stick it in a ponytail

Oh I absolutely love curly hair, I always curled/waved mine as it’s naturally very straight. I rarely leave it straight. I love a curl. When I was little, my mum and I both had hair down to our bums and we’d plait it and it’d be huge and wavy.
I follow a lady on instagram and she’s spent the past two years working with her natural hair and it’s to die for now. It’s absolutely stunning!
My dream hair would be like the girl in the Jon Bon Jovi video for Always, I LOVE that girls hair.
I do think a large amount of people follow fashion trends and what is considered nice and normal though op, I’ve just never really cared about that, I wear what I like (in fashion or not) and have my hair how I like it.

My sister receives a lot of negativity regarding her hair, it’s currently bright pink and purple and she changes the colours regularly, she also has a lot of tattoos. She recently became a mum and she has received a lot of judgemental comments about her parenting abilities based solely on her appearance. People assume my nephew is mine when we’re out together, it’s very bizarre.

People are very judgemental arseholes though op, I totally agree. It’s strange what preconceived ideas many people follow and stick too.

I personally love curly hair and regularly wish I had a naturally curl frizz mane!

I'm just longing for the spiral perm to come back into fashion. My hair is dead straight with a few bits that poke out here and there if not straightened or blow dried.

When I had the perms I could get up in the morning, spritz with a bit a water, scrunch and go. Marvellous.

I love curly hair.

I follow a lady on instagram and she’s spent the past two years working with her natural hair and it’s to die for now. It’s absolutely stunning!

Could I have her name please?

Zazdar your hair is absolutely beautiful! 😍

The worst thing is when you read about hair care and frizz is treated like you are doing something wrong. Not conditioning enough, not having regular haircuts etc. I do all that and more but I still get frizz because that is my natural hair texture. Drives me mad!!

BluebellsGreenbells which silicone free shampoos and conditioners cost just a pound please?

We always want what we can't have. I tie my hair up damp to make it wavy while my friends are madly straightening theirs. Think of a list of words people say for straight hair: sleek, smooth, sharp then interchange with lank, limp, no body, etc and reassess your glorious curls.

I love my curls and have red curls too! Plus I’m over 40 and got IDed the other day! They can’t be that aging!

@PinkSyCo

BluebellsGreenbells which silicone free shampoos and conditioners cost just a pound please?

Don't know about shampoo as I don't use it, but the Sainsburys own brand apple conditioner, the Alberto Balsam raspberry one, and the Aldi volumising one in the blue bottle are all under £1, silicone free and great for curls.