To be tired of negative comments about curly hair?

[nothingbutsnow]

Just reading a thread from last year in Style & Beauty.
Most posters agreeing that 'curly hair is ageing' or 'most people look unhinged with curly hair'
Usual insults include 'mad art teacher', 'old hippy', 'mad ferret', etc.

And then there's the assumption that all curls belong in the 80's, or it is notoriously difficult to make natural curls look good.

And don't get me started on frizz. Apparently this is only ever a bad thing, and can't be an actual hair texture. So anyone who was born with hair that has a tendency to frizz (basically, porous hair) needs to get rid of it immediately or you'll look old, tired, terrible.
Spend hundreds on cosmetic shite to counteract it.

Anyone else sick to death of this? I don't even have curly hair but I think it's all a bit repressing. It's like current attitudes (for past 20 odd yrs now) are really straight laced and austere - anything considered wild, bohemian or flamboyant is BAD. Colourful is bad. Curls and wild, natural hair are bad! Some of these attitudes go much further than mere fashion trends.
Psychologically speaking, I actually think it says a lot about contemporary attitudes in our culture; an inability to relax, be natural or to even slightly digress from a somewhat conservative, fixed set of rules. And i also think this segues into other parts of life too, such as shopping, housing, life choices. It's all so very uptight and judgemental, and I do wish we could have some sort of renaissance of true diversity and going with the flow!

Well, I went from curly hair to a collapsed culture pretty quick there

I have curly hair - never get negative comments - or read any TBH.
If I'm out with friends, they find it a bit weird when total strangers stop me to say how much they like my hair.

The only disadvantage of the 'Curly Girl' movement is the avalanche of products, as my bathroom cupboards will attest - bit of a product junkie, but usualle end up with old favourites.

@MyNameIsAngelicaSchuyler

I've had loads of negative comments and was bullied for it too. called Bushy, pube head, told it looked 'a right mess', comments like 'what are you going to do about your hair' etc.

Just because it wasn't your experience doesn't mean it didn't happen. it was awful.

Yep me too, all the way through high school lots of nasty names. Even when my hair began to look better as I learned more about hair care the names stuck until I left. I would get older relatives saying they are just jealous, or people pay a fortune to have hair like yours, but it really didn't help how miserable I felt at that time.

Well I think I look pretty hot.

@Cozytoesandtoast00

So you have straight hair and you're saying most people think I'm unhinged and bad? Cheers Mate! 😂

chill out....mate, i have frizzy way hair, sadly no curls.

I have long, curly hair. For years I would straighten it when travelling for work or having important meetings. Then during lockdown, I embraced the curls and they look better than they have for years - no heat and the frizz has calmed right down.

I did get told aged 15 to "do something" with my hair when working a Saturday job, and popped it into a french plait for all my customer-facing jobs after that, until I started working in an office at 22.

And one comment on the 'middle aged' thread boasted that her 70 something grandmother always looked young and pretty because she had religiously flattened her curly hair and wore it straight.

None of this is my opinion, but i have seen it on here for years, especially people saying you can only get away with curls of hair is super long or else it is ......drum roll.....AGEING!

It's pathetic.

And in agreement with those who were teased at school, I was called 'Poochie', 'white ghost', 'mad hatter' and 'spooky bitch' because my hair was almost white and very, very poofy.

I have frizzy curly hair and while I have had compliments I was also pushed off the pavement once while the guy shouted 'alright frizzy' at me. I have heard people say 'what will her boyf think when he sees her morning frizz' not about me bit others. I cant even turn my head without getting a crown of frizzy hair! I am about to move jobs though and I am worried that I may not look professional enough for it 🙄

I'd love curly hair. I bet all your curly hairs look lovely. I appreciate they're considerably more upkeep than my limp straight lifeless locks, and my no fuss life couldn't manage. But to just have one day of beautiful gravity defying bouncy deliciousness... I wish...🥰

Yes, threads about 'how not to look old' for women frequently feature strictures against how ageing greying curly hair is -- I remember comments on the 'grey Brillo pad' look, and it only being OK to go grey is your hair was shiny and straight (or slick waves, at best).

A friend of mine had a new departmental administrator tell her how 'brave' she was to go grey, but how she could 'get away with it' only because she's thin and her hair is straight.

I don't know anyone that doesn't like curly hair. Always compliments on my nieces curly hair and everyone is very excited that DSs hair is going curly

I can’t say I’ve heard that @nothingbutsnow BUT alive heard many women talking about straitening their hair every morning, avoiding the frizz etc… esp with teenagers.
So I’d say that ten comments you are referring to are more likely to be what people think but don’t dare to say in RL.

I’ve also heard comments about being courageous (??) to keep my natural waves (I wouldn’t use the word curly for my hair)

For me it’s only another side of all the teenage girls with similar hair style/similar clothes etc… people saying that it has always been the case. Yes it has but not to that extend I feel.

@Erinyes oh yes the being courageous because you let your hair be it’s normal colour, aka grey.

Oh god! I remember that thread for the insistence on getting Botox! I didn’t notice the comments about curly hair (will go back and reread) but those threads always bring out the weirdos with ‘rules’ about age and appearance.

Oh come on, everyone says it is lovely on children!
I had curls as a small child and adults fawned over it, called me 'angel' and so on.
It's very different at school and when older.

@WellThatsMeScrewed

Yep! And you’ve just summed up my massive insecurity about how I look for the last 30 years. Depressing really.

Same.

I personally don't like my curly hair, esp as it's so hard to manage, but other people always compliment it.

Curly hair is lovely. I am an oldie, and love watching old style films, where lots of women had curly and wavy hair, and looked glamorous and lovely.. Films like period dramas, and old films from the 1940 and 1950's era . You never use to see long straight hair, draped all over a persons face years ago, or women who have long hair, who are forever touching their hair, and rearranging it, only for it to fall back over their face again,, and everyone looks the same.

I really don't get the fear of curls.

I love hair with a life of it's own, like helena bonham carter, honeysuckle weeks. Never seen either of them flatten it out (unless for a role).

Thankfully i see more and more younger girls embracing curls and natural texture now. good on them.

I have curly hair, and I haven't noticed this tbh.

However I have so much hair on my head, it's not thick hair but it's, so fluffy and frizzy, I can't get it to curl properly, any hint of muggyness and poof I look like a fucking poodle.

I have tried every product under the sun, so I either wear it up, or straighten it. It's a ball ache

I haven’t seen this. I have very straight hair, as does DD - and currently people are full of praise for curly hair (rightly so, it’s gorgeous). She wants long, thick curly hair like her friends but has very straight, very fine, thin hair and hates it.

Combine that with the curly girl obsession and trying to convince everyone they actually have wavy or curly hair, and I think it’s probably more desired than straight hair now.

It is reflected in media and film too. If the role/part or character is professional/sexy/fit/intelligent in the main they are cast with straight slick shiny hair.
Ditzy/lazy/bonkers.... a full head of frizz and curl.

I really don't get the fear of curls.

There is no fear of curls.

It is not a thing.

Curly and ginger… not sure my hair could be judged any more! It is relatively low maintenance though. DS has great hair it’s like a perm bob. DD only a few months but has had a curly Mohawk since 6 weeks! Wish them both look in later life with it.

Touching is an issues with DS hair too- apparently one of the art teachers was discussing texture and it’s bouncy!

I have curly hair ( it has good days and bad) and somehow people think they can comment on it, even though I wouldn’t comment on theirs.
I definitely get more comments than others with straight hair at work.