To think young babysitters should be paid in cash?

[Confrontayshunme]

We are going out for dinner with friends, and a friend's DD (15) is going to babysit our school aged children for a few hours. I pointed out that I needed to get some cash to pay her, and my DH said "That's okay, I'll just do a bank transfer." I told him that probably quite a few young teens may not have a bank account. Then he said "Well it is good work experience for her to get me her parents' details and follow up with me if it doesn't work." As a teenager, I relished having cash that was all my own, and a few times, I had odd parents who were tricky to get paid or their cheques didn't work, so I always asked for cash.

I told him I thought it might be difficult for a 15yo girl to confront and negotiate with a big 40yo man for payment, so we should do cash so she feels comfortable and doesn't have to worry about it. He then said that it was sexist to think that, as he had was comfortable doing that when he was a (6'3" 17yo) boy. Am I the only person who feels like the dynamic is all wrong (though I acknowledge that is a separate issue to the cash vs bank transfer)?

YABU - teens today should be fine being paid by bank transfer and discussing money with unrelated adults

YANBU - most teen girl babysitters would like cash as it is easy

I'd be surprised if a 15 yo didn't have a bank account. My DC have had them since 6 and 8! Just ask her.

My DD (16) has a bank account and debit card so it wouldn't bother her either way. I have Venmo as well so if that's easier for anyone she works for, I let them use that. It's abit convoluted but as it's linked to my bank account, I can just transfer the money straight from my account into DD's.

@JustLyra

I think you should ask the babysitter if she prefers cash or payment.

Your DH is a dick for equating his experiences as a 6 foot plus male to a teenage girl though.

100%

My teens would prefer a bank transfer too but I'm surprised at all these parents who take cash for them and transfer the money to them. I'm obviously mean but my DC have to take the cash to the bank themselves. All part of learning to manage their own money.

@madeittofriday

My teens would prefer a bank transfer too but I'm surprised at all these parents who take cash for them and transfer the money to them. I'm obviously mean but my DC have to take the cash to the bank themselves. All part of learning to manage their own money.

Not everyone has a bank nearby. My grandchildren would have to get someone to give them a lift into the nearest town. There isn't even a bus where they live.

@madeittofriday

My teens would prefer a bank transfer too but I'm surprised at all these parents who take cash for them and transfer the money to them. I'm obviously mean but my DC have to take the cash to the bank themselves. All part of learning to manage their own money.

I am more than happy to use the cash. Quite a few stalls at the farmers' market prefer cash.

@madeittofriday

My teens would prefer a bank transfer too but I'm surprised at all these parents who take cash for them and transfer the money to them. I'm obviously mean but my DC have to take the cash to the bank themselves. All part of learning to manage their own money.

That totally depends on why they do it.

If it’s because their child is too precious to walk ten mins to the bank, then I’d agree.

There’s no bank, or post office, in our village and I use cash a lot for the window cleaner, paperboy, the weekly market etc. So if I swap mine for cash that they’ve got it’s saving them and me a trip to the next town.

@madeittofriday

My teens would prefer a bank transfer too but I'm surprised at all these parents who take cash for them and transfer the money to them. I'm obviously mean but my DC have to take the cash to the bank themselves. All part of learning to manage their own money.

Isn’t it obvious? The adults use cash more than the teens, so the adults take the cash to use it! That saves them a trip to the ATM.

@madeittofriday

My teens would prefer a bank transfer too but I'm surprised at all these parents who take cash for them and transfer the money to them. I'm obviously mean but my DC have to take the cash to the bank themselves. All part of learning to manage their own money.

Because paying it into the bank takes then two buses on a weekend. Whereas I can give it to the till at Sainsbury's no bother.

I'd ask her as it varies. For babysitting DD preferred payment with PayPal friends & family or cash if they couldn't do that.

Oh & DD had a bank account from 12 onwards. I think all of her friends did by about 14

Has your DH always been such a pompous mansplainer?

I would classify his thoughts on this as willful, smug ignorance.

How do you get to be an adult in this world where women and teenage girls are sexually harassed in school and at work, and frequently raped and murdered, and come out with that sort of garbage?

Cash. X

I think you should ask her but also think cash isn't as common a anymore my teen-agers have their own bank accounts and prefer bank transfers. Generally if they get given cash by anyone they give it to me and ask for money to be out on their account.

@madeittofriday

My teens would prefer a bank transfer too but I'm surprised at all these parents who take cash for them and transfer the money to them. I'm obviously mean but my DC have to take the cash to the bank themselves. All part of learning to manage their own money.

All very well if they have easy access to a bank but to make them pay it in themselves i'd have to find time to take them in times that the bank is open - not easy.

Ask her, my teens hate cash

My teens would both prefer cash. No point me paying it in my bank, the overdraft would just eat it up. Daughter has a bank account but my 15 year old son doesn’t.

My teens would prefer a bank transfer too but I'm surprised at all these parents who take cash for them and transfer the money to them. I'm obviously mean but my DC have to take the cash to the bank themselves. All part of learning to manage their own money.

If I can help my kids out I do. There’s plenty of learning opportunities in life, I don’t have to turn everything into one. As well as being good with money, I want my kids to know that if we can do something to make someone’s life easier, especially with little impact to ourselves, then we should do that. I’m near a bank 3 days each week, my 13 year old isn’t.

All my baby sitters ask to be paid into their bank, because none of them really use cash.

I'm in Australia so I don't know if it's different here

My DD would prefer a bank transfer as teenagers don't really use cash these days.

Our dds was bank transfer every time. Still is now as it’s a hassle to bank cash.

@Doratheexploret

My teens would both prefer cash. No point me paying it in my bank, the overdraft would just eat it up. Daughter has a bank account but my 15 year old son doesn’t.

This amazes me that a 15 year old doesn’t have their own bank account.

@LaurieFairyCake

I think asking her how she would like to be paid gives her the most respect

This.

I asked the teen that fed our pets when we were away if she'd prefer bank transfer or cash and she asked for a bank transfer.

@madeittofriday

My teens would prefer a bank transfer too but I'm surprised at all these parents who take cash for them and transfer the money to them. I'm obviously mean but my DC have to take the cash to the bank themselves. All part of learning to manage their own money.

The bank is not open at weekends and closes too early for the DC to get there after school via public transport. Plus paying bus fare to pay money into the bank makes no sense. And there are some things I do need cash for, and the nearest ATM is not that near, so actually it suits me to take cash off the DC.