Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think young babysitters should be paid in cash?

178 replies

Confrontayshunme · 05/03/2022 15:17

We are going out for dinner with friends, and a friend's DD (15) is going to babysit our school aged children for a few hours. I pointed out that I needed to get some cash to pay her, and my DH said "That's okay, I'll just do a bank transfer." I told him that probably quite a few young teens may not have a bank account. Then he said "Well it is good work experience for her to get me her parents' details and follow up with me if it doesn't work." As a teenager, I relished having cash that was all my own, and a few times, I had odd parents who were tricky to get paid or their cheques didn't work, so I always asked for cash.

I told him I thought it might be difficult for a 15yo girl to confront and negotiate with a big 40yo man for payment, so we should do cash so she feels comfortable and doesn't have to worry about it. He then said that it was sexist to think that, as he had was comfortable doing that when he was a (6'3" 17yo) boy. Am I the only person who feels like the dynamic is all wrong (though I acknowledge that is a separate issue to the cash vs bank transfer)?

YABU - teens today should be fine being paid by bank transfer and discussing money with unrelated adults

YANBU - most teen girl babysitters would like cash as it is easy

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 05/03/2022 15:28

Well it is good work experience for her to get me her parents' details and follow up with me if it doesn't work

What a pompous arse, please don’t do that, if she’s anything like lots of teen girls I know she’d be too shy and would never follow up on it

edwinbear · 05/03/2022 15:29

DS is 12 and would definitely prefer cash. He pays for everything with his card, but the right thing to do, is text her and ask if she'd prefer cash or a bank transfer.

KatherineofGaunt · 05/03/2022 15:29

Your DH wants a 15yo girl to have to follow up with him if the online payment doesn't work to her parent's account? So she babysits on Saturday evening and then has to come round again or call your DH a week later if the money still isn't in her parent's account?

Your DH is an idiot. Just get cash.

JustLyra · 05/03/2022 15:29

I think you should ask the babysitter if she prefers cash or payment.

Your DH is a dick for equating his experiences as a 6 foot plus male to a teenage girl though.

Madcats · 05/03/2022 15:29

I can't remember the last time my 14 year old used any notes and coins.

She'd much prefer a bank transfer.

Were she babysitting we/she would have an agreed hourly rate up front.

Apart from the pound coin for the supermarket trolley i am not sure when i last used cash either.

edwinbear · 05/03/2022 15:30

I mean he would prefer a bank transfer....

Ludoole · 05/03/2022 15:31

My youngest didn't have a bank account until he started work at 17. He still prefers cash. In fact he pays his board in cash.
I'd ask and she what she prefers.

nokidshere · 05/03/2022 15:32

I'm with others, my teens prefer bank transfer and if they are ever given cash give it straight to me and I transfer to their accounts. It's so much easier for them.

Just ask her how how she would like to be paid.

Joolsin · 05/03/2022 15:32

Revolut

EmpressCixi · 05/03/2022 15:32

I’d just ask the teen. Mine have had accounts with online banking on their phone since age 13.

Chilesstanton · 05/03/2022 15:34

Your husband sounds insane

StripyLlama · 05/03/2022 15:34

My teens would prefer bank transfer. If they do get cash, like a PP, they give it to me and I transfer the money to their bank.

I would message before hand and ask what she’d prefer.

Graphista · 05/03/2022 15:37

Your dh is a dick!

Is he trying to avoid paying/paying a decent amount?

You also need to address his misogyny preferably before he passes it onto your kids!

I don't for a second believe he doesn't really get that a teenage girl has a Damn sight less power or agency than a 40 year old bloke!

Especially (but not only) if you have daughters yourself you need to be very clear with him that such ridiculous ideas and attitudes don't belong around your dc.

He sounds like a dodgy stingy mra!

Ciaram55 · 05/03/2022 15:38

It'll be a sad day if/when we go cashless. I think we should all use cash as much as is possible.

Allelbowsandtoes · 05/03/2022 15:41

Not entirely related to the topic, but apparently younger people barely use cash anymore. My friend manages a tattoo studio, there was a 20 year old girl getting tattooed the other day, when she found out she had to pay the artist in cash she asked my friend (studio manager) to take her to the cash point and show her how it works, as she'd never used one before Grin
Friend has been telling everyone this and its blown all our minds.

Newnamefor2022 · 05/03/2022 15:42

My teens never use cash. If they are given it, they ask me to take it and then bank transfer the same amount to them. Just ask her what she prefers? I think you are both BU tbh.

Svara · 05/03/2022 15:42

I'd pay cash, DS 15 doesn't have access to Internet banking to check it money has gone in. He has a debit card and PayPal, but because of bank rules to check his account he'd have to wait for a statement. It's annoying, overseas his account was just linked to my Internet banking. I take cash he doesn't want and transfer to him.

theresAtablet4thatNow · 05/03/2022 15:43

Asking wouldn't hurt, but until you know her preference you can't go wrong with cash.

At 15, I wouldn't have been enthusiastic about discussing money and payment with adults, either male or female. I'm now in my 40s, and I still sometimes find it an awkward topic, tbh! If something goes wrong, it's awkward to tell someone they owe you money. You do it, but it's not pleasant.

If I were your babysitter, I'd appreciate everything being kept as simple and straightforward as possible.

1forAll74 · 05/03/2022 15:46

I would say that most teenagers would prefer a cash payment. at all times. They can always save the money if they dont want to rush out and spend the money straight away,

musicviking1 · 05/03/2022 15:46

My 12 and 14 year olds prefer bank transfers, if they are given cash they give it to me and then I transfer it back via online banking.

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 05/03/2022 15:47

Just ask. I know if I did a babysitting job and the money was transferred to my parents account my mum would have kept it.

ImBurtMacklin · 05/03/2022 15:49

It sounds as if your DH enjoys the power trip he gains over a teenage girls finances. Fucking Wanker.

TheSmallAssassin · 05/03/2022 15:49

What country do you live in now, @Svara? My kids have had their own internet banking and debit cards since they were 11 - why would it need to be connected to your account?

OP, my kids would have preferred a bank transfer, but to their own account. If you can't do that, cash would have been next best thing, but as lots of people have said, ask her! She is providing you with a service, not asking for life lessons!

TwoBlueFish · 05/03/2022 15:49

Just ask her which she’d prefer. My teenage neighbour did a bit of pet sitting for me and said she would prefer bank transfer. Most younger people do not use cash.

CheshireCats · 05/03/2022 15:50

I have 3 teens. All would prefer a bank transfer. Most of what they spend on is online. But obviously, asking her would be the best thing to do .

Swipe left for the next trending thread