To think young babysitters should be paid in cash?

[Confrontayshunme]

We are going out for dinner with friends, and a friend's DD (15) is going to babysit our school aged children for a few hours. I pointed out that I needed to get some cash to pay her, and my DH said "That's okay, I'll just do a bank transfer." I told him that probably quite a few young teens may not have a bank account. Then he said "Well it is good work experience for her to get me her parents' details and follow up with me if it doesn't work." As a teenager, I relished having cash that was all my own, and a few times, I had odd parents who were tricky to get paid or their cheques didn't work, so I always asked for cash.

I told him I thought it might be difficult for a 15yo girl to confront and negotiate with a big 40yo man for payment, so we should do cash so she feels comfortable and doesn't have to worry about it. He then said that it was sexist to think that, as he had was comfortable doing that when he was a (6'3" 17yo) boy. Am I the only person who feels like the dynamic is all wrong (though I acknowledge that is a separate issue to the cash vs bank transfer)?

YABU - teens today should be fine being paid by bank transfer and discussing money with unrelated adults

YANBU - most teen girl babysitters would like cash as it is easy

Can’t you just ask her which she prefers?

@LaurieFairyCake

I think asking her how she would like to be paid gives her the most respect

Yes this

Most kids have bank accounts but ask what she wants.

DD would prefer bank transfer. She'd most likely hand me the cash and ask me to transfer the amount to her. I would have thought most teens have an account as we head towards being a cashless society.

I agree with others , you need to ask what she would prefer.

Your DH sounds entitled. Why should she have to work in any additional way in order to get her agreed pay? ( Are good baby-sitters so easy to find where you are?)

If she is reliable and good with the children, I'd be working at keeping her happy in every way possible. (Yes - it would be my/DH's responsibility to ensure that the money reached her !)

I was often asked to baby-sit as a teen and had enough offers of work to be choosey. I only went once to those who paid poorly or late or who didn't return when they said they would (without good reason).

He needs cash

He also needs to realize that a 40yo man interacting with an unrelated 15yo girl is an absolute minefield. Yes he is just a dad, but we live in an era where he would still be wise to be careful about how even good intentioned behavior could be perceived.

Agree. Both my teens rarely use cash, and I'm often the one swapping it for what they call "real" money. ie transfer into their accounts so they can spend on their phones /cards..... Then I'm left with cash that I very rarely use.....

My teens would hate cash. Ask her.

@LaurieFairyCake

I think asking her how she would like to be paid gives her the most respect

As so often happens, nailed in first reply.

Mine would prefer bacs.

I’d always wanted to be paid cash so I could get a taxi home if it was late at night or too far to walk.

@EveningOverRooftops

I’d always wanted to be paid cash so I could get a taxi home if it was late at night or too far to walk.

Well, you need money in your bank account for an Uber these days!

I would say most teens prefer bank transfer but I would ask her. Good reliable babysitters are like gold dust so always best to stay on their good side.

This has been an eye-opener- we use our 16 year-old neighbour to babysit and it never occurred to me that paying cash would actually be a total pain for her, we just did it that way without thinking! Will ask her next time what she prefers.

OP, what do you mean about her possibly having to “negotiate” with your husband? You say she has sat for you before so the rate must be agreed already?

OT but can I ask how much is the going rate per hour ?

My neighbours are going to ask my DS to babysit - ge is happy to but I know no one else who does this - what is reasonable rate (DS is 14)

I bank transfer I didn’t even think of paying cash

YANBU Your husband has no idea how a girl, especially a 15 year old girl would feel. He talks about himself as a male teenager, he really is so oblivious, he has no bloody clue!

OP, get some money out of the ATM yourself and pay her, since it's obvious your husband is on a power trip and is a completely insensitive arrogant ahole. Fancy comparing a 17 year old male to a 15 year old girl! Not withstanding that no teenager wants a transfer, they all want CASH.

@BeaLola I pay £8 an hour to a teenager babysitter (I think min wage for teenagers is £6)

Mine would prefer bacs

Please don't use bacs. It takes three days to clear. If she wants paying digitally then just make an instant transfer to her account or a PayPal.

My experience is that most teens will have bank accounts and many will be using contactless payment via a card, phone or watch.

So, asking which they prefer would be better for the teen.

But I'd not consider a bank transfer as being unreasonable for a teen.

Agree that she should be asked. Mine have had bank accounts with debit cards since they were old enough - 14 I think and they always prefer a transfer so they can spend on line and pay for things using their phones plus and keep track of their money, but your babysitter may chose cash.

@EveningOverRooftops

I’d always wanted to be paid cash so I could get a taxi home if it was late at night or too far to walk.

Surely the taxi would be covered by the parents who hired the sitter?

Maybe ask her. But I'd be prepared to pay cash

@BeaLola

OT but can I ask how much is the going rate per hour ?

My neighbours are going to ask my DS to babysit - ge is happy to but I know no one else who does this - what is reasonable rate (DS is 14)

We pay £30 for 7pm-11pm. If we pre arrange to be back 12/1am then we pay £50.

Agree ask her. Tell him you will ask her as if hes only offering a bank transfer to her parents, not paying her, then she might not want to sit for you. It is reasonable to know how you are going to be paid before doing work for someone, even at 15.

YABU for not just asking her how she wants to be paid.