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Original poster

Dumped for eating Maltesers

341 replies

Malteesser · 03/03/2022 22:39

Been seeing someone for a few weeks. We went to cinema last night and he bought popcorn and I bought a big bag of maltesers. I opened them when we sat down and began eating them. He said “why don’t you wait until the film starts?” So I just laughed and said “too tempting” as a joke. He seemed irritated and said something like “you won’t have any left by time the film starts”. This got my back up a bit and I just carried on as I was. I finished the bag around 10 minutes into the film. I saw him watching me and felt his disapproval Hmm but why?? It didn’t effect him, he had his popcorn. He was really grumpy throughout the film and afterwards was quite off with me. We were meant to be going for something to eat but he said he wasn’t really in the mood and would be heading home.

Before I went to bed I text him asking if I’d done something to upset him and he replied “I don’t think this will work out, it’s nothing personal x” Hmm I replied “ok no worries”.

It’s been bugging me all day as before we sat down in the cinema he was absolutely fine!!! We were laughing and joking etc, no bad feeling at all and he literally changed as soon as we sat down.

Have I been dumped for bad Malteser etiquette?!?

OP posts:
Fairislefandango · 05/03/2022 08:02

Although, according to 90% of the Mumsnet responses here, that would make you or I controlling psychos and those men had very lucky escapes.

Anyone can choose not to see a date again for whatever reason they like. Nobody is taking issue with the OP's date's right not to see her again. They're taking issue with his weird and twatty attitude on the date. If the roles were reversed, a woman would be just as unreasonable for trying to dictate how the man ate his snacks fgs.

OfstedOffred · 05/03/2022 08:44

Some people (not me) just find eating more than a small portion at a time to be a bit gross and unattractive. A friend at uni was like this, she dropped more than one guy for being "piggy". She a) wouldnt buy a large bag of anything in the first place or if she did, would regard it as clearly too much for one person and therefore to be shared, b) would eat an occasional one throughout a film but would often end up taking some home at the end having not finished.

His issue not yours - it sounds like you arent compatible.

I love a Malteser op. I prob would have vaguely tried to make them last through the film but would NOT have been sharing Grin

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 05/03/2022 08:48

YABU for buying maltesers from the cinema.

Agreed. They cost a packet. I always get them beforehand from Sainsbury's. I've taken in a whole picnic - a spoon, a huge tub of salted caramel ice cream, bottle of Coke Zero, Maltesers and Butterkist, all from the supermarket.

freemantel · 05/03/2022 08:53

If it was a family sized pack and you ate them all yourself he probably thinks it was greedy. Are you sure he didn't buy the popcorn to share between you?

OrlandointheWilderness · 05/03/2022 08:54

😂 that's bonkers.
And something a very controlling ex of mine would've done, so I reckon you've had a lucky escape there!!

Torak · 05/03/2022 08:55

What is that bit of dating advice? Say no about something trivial early on and see how the other person reacts. Lucky escape here, I'd say!

Ipadflowers · 05/03/2022 09:15

I mean this politely but are you a healthy weight? Either way He could have got the ick a little watching uou immediately eat a large bag of Maltesers, which means he’s not the bloke for you as he clearly has some issues surrounding food.

TracyMosby · 05/03/2022 09:52

Wow the lengths so many women will go to excuse twatty male behaviour. So many posts essentially saying, no offence hun but are you fat? Hmm

If you people are not buying large portions of snack food at the cinema and eating it yourself YOU are the odd ones. So fuck off with your fat shaming and eating rules. If you try to share from my large salted popcorn at the cinema, you will lose a finger. That is the rule of the cinema.

And finally, there is NO FUCKING WAY i would allow a man on a first date (and many after) to put his statistically almost certainly unwashed urine splashed hand into my unwrapped food.

Ipadflowers · 05/03/2022 09:52

Actually, thinking about this if I watched my husband immediately smash a whole family bag of maltesers to himself, just before we went out for dinner, and couldn’t even wait for the movie to start, I’d prob raise an eye brow, but I’d not think it was a sackable offence, but there is a potential I’d think he was over eating. He’s clearly got issues for him to think it’s a deal breaker, so it was never going to work, you’ve lost nothing.

NinaDefoe · 05/03/2022 10:24

misophonia doesn't include the noises that you make.

I have it and I'm fine with my own crunching, whistling, humming, singing etc but can't stand other people's. Whistling especially. Makes me want to literally scream and rage.

I’m not sure we’d get on! 🤣 Your crunching, whistling, humming and singing would drive me insane.

marieantoinehairnet · 05/03/2022 10:27

He sounds like a complete freak

Lucky escape

NinaDefoe · 05/03/2022 10:35

@MyCatEatsPrawnCrackers

I remember going on a first date to see La Bamba (back in the Dark Ages) and in the first few minutes, a plane explodes in the sky. My date gave a high pitched scream and I just couldn't fancy him after that.
OMG!!! Haha!
Whatsonmymindgrapes · 05/03/2022 10:41

Hahahah what a weirdo!

notacooldad · 05/03/2022 11:48

I mean this politely but are you a healthy weight? 😮
No need!

alfagirl73 · 05/03/2022 12:31

Was there any discussion around snacks when you bought them? Eg: "You get the popcorn, I'll get the sweets & we'll share" or was it very clear that you were each buying your own snacks for your own consumption? If it wasn't clear/obvious then I guess it's possible he assumed you'd both be sharing your snacks with each other and was put out that it wasn't the case. But I'm not getting that vibe from what you say.

It is, again, possible re the misophonia but if it's that bad that it puts him in such a horrendous mood, I'd think the cinema was a bit of a poor choice (assuming he was happy and willing to go) because people are always eating and crunching etc... in the cinema. If he was reluctant to go at all and just went along with it as a date choice then it's possible it's misophonia and it kicked in at that moment. Did he enjoy the film? How was he through the rest of it? It sounds like he was happy up until the maltersers moment.

Given he was all happy and all seemed well up to the point when you started eating your Maltesers and didn't stop when he commented on it, my view is he was a) put out that you didn't adapt your behaviour when he remarked on it b) that he is obsessively particular about not eating snacks until the film starts and c) expects you to do the same. I don't think it was the fact you ate a bag of Maltesers - you both bought food for the film and he was happy with that status until the point when you started to eat them. His remarks were very much about not having any left for the film and then he went into a mood/sulk when you didn't stop and leave them for when the film started.

Alternatively it could just be a lame excuse for ending the relationship - but seems odd that he went into such a mood ONLY after you started your snacks and didn't do what he wanted you to do.

My money is on that he has particular rituals around certain things and expects you to either already be the same or if not, adapt accordingly to match what he does.

alfagirl73 · 05/03/2022 12:32

Sorry for double posting... (MN really needs an edit button!)... but anyway - just to say that off the back of this thread I now have a lovely box of Maltesers awaiting my consumption!

ClemFandangoo · 05/03/2022 12:34

@notacooldad

I mean this politely but are you a healthy weight? 😮 No need!
‘I mean this politely’ is the new ‘no offence’ Grin
Laptopsandmouses · 05/03/2022 12:40

@notacooldad

I mean this politely but are you a healthy weight? 😮 No need!
Oh cmon, are we going to pretend that for some arseholes their reactions to a slim person eating a family bag of Maltesers is the same as to someone who is very over weight? Really, we are going to pretend that?
Lampzade · 05/03/2022 12:43

As others have said. You had a lucky escape

courgettigreensadwater · 05/03/2022 13:17

@LightSpeeds oh god. I haven't had minstrels for years and now i reeeeaaallly went some.

ItallwentwrongwhenBowieleft · 05/03/2022 14:19

But OP you didn’t follow his manly advice.
He pointed out the error of your ways and you had the audacity not to agree with him & not to comply with his instructions.
How very dare you?

Many of us will recognise this early red flag behaviour.
My god you’ve had a lucky escape OP.

LightSpeeds · 05/03/2022 15:10

[quote courgettigreensadwater]@LightSpeeds oh god. I haven't had minstrels for years and now i reeeeaaallly went some. [/quote]
Get a BIG bag...

notacooldad · 05/03/2022 16:28

I mean this politely but are you a healthy weight? 😮*

‘I mean this politely’ is the new ‘no offence’ grin Spot on! I've noticed that creeping in to things lately. Another one is 'with due respect' when theres clearly no respect given🤣🤣

Anyway the thread has moved on to minstrels, which are awesome but the best of the bunch is Revels!!! ( I think there how you spell it. You get a Maltese in it and a minstrel type one! Win win!!

timeforteaforyouandme · 05/03/2022 16:33

Torak has it spot on.

Weird controlling behaviour or food issues - either way, lucky escape for you

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 05/03/2022 16:39

This doesn’t look particularly pretty, but it tasted delicious - it’s a malteaser cheesecake I made up, for ds2’s birthday, at his request. The base was made up of crushed malteasers instead of biscuits, and the topping is an unbaked cream cheese and Nutella mix, topped with more malteasers.

You only needed a small slice.

Dumped for eating Maltesers
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