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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dumped for eating Maltesers

341 replies

Malteesser · 03/03/2022 22:39

Been seeing someone for a few weeks. We went to cinema last night and he bought popcorn and I bought a big bag of maltesers. I opened them when we sat down and began eating them. He said “why don’t you wait until the film starts?” So I just laughed and said “too tempting” as a joke. He seemed irritated and said something like “you won’t have any left by time the film starts”. This got my back up a bit and I just carried on as I was. I finished the bag around 10 minutes into the film. I saw him watching me and felt his disapproval Hmm but why?? It didn’t effect him, he had his popcorn. He was really grumpy throughout the film and afterwards was quite off with me. We were meant to be going for something to eat but he said he wasn’t really in the mood and would be heading home.

Before I went to bed I text him asking if I’d done something to upset him and he replied “I don’t think this will work out, it’s nothing personal x” Hmm I replied “ok no worries”.

It’s been bugging me all day as before we sat down in the cinema he was absolutely fine!!! We were laughing and joking etc, no bad feeling at all and he literally changed as soon as we sat down.

Have I been dumped for bad Malteser etiquette?!?

OP posts:
PixieLaLa · 04/03/2022 17:03

@WildCherryBlossom

This will be an unpopular opinion but a large bag of Maltesers is designed for sharing. It's a huge number of calories for one person to consume. And then you wanted to go out for dinner afterwards? I think he may have found that off putting.

🙄😴

stimpyyouidiot · 04/03/2022 17:04

Now I want maltesers

NinaDefoe · 04/03/2022 17:22

however if you have misophonia then sitting listening to somebody crunch their way through a big bag of malteasers within 10 minutes would be awful and so tense.

I think listening to him stuff popcorn into his mouth DURING THE FILM would be worse.

stimpyyouidiot · 04/03/2022 17:24

If he had misophonia why is it ok for him to eat popcorn and not for her to have her maltesers? Genuine question.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 04/03/2022 17:27

@stimpyyouidiot

If he had misophonia why is it ok for him to eat popcorn and not for her to have her maltesers? Genuine question.
misophonia doesn't include the noises that you make.

I have it and I'm fine with my own crunching, whistling, humming, singing etc but can't stand other people's. Whistling especially. Makes me want to literally scream and rage.

Lurking9to5 · 04/03/2022 17:28

@frostedfruit

I think he was annoyed that you didn't stop eating when he asked you to. It's the first little sign that he expects you to do things the way he wants or he'll show his disapproval. There'll be more, and worse, where that came from. Dont hang around!
This. You werent susceptible to being shamed/blamed/manipulated. Thats no good. The right woman for him would have put the maltesers away
Craftycorvid · 04/03/2022 17:40

Not worth sharing your Malteasers with.

Wearegoingtoneedabiggerboat · 04/03/2022 18:35

He is not as unreasonable as the competitive under eaters trying to sabotage this thread with the ‘I could never eat one maltesser let alone a whole sharing bag brigade’.

Lurking9to5 · 04/03/2022 19:04

I cant believe the posts suggesting he might have misophonia, even if he did he shoukdnt be sitting there with popcorn judging his date for eating chocolate !!

TheDuchessOfMN · 04/03/2022 19:24

YABU for not buying maltesers and popcorn, and pouring the maltesers into the popcorn.

He probably would have got up and walked out 🤣

CatBumJuice · 04/03/2022 19:48

With Malteasers I always try to get the whole bagful in my mouth at the same time (harder with family size). Did you try to do that?

gingerbiscuits · 04/03/2022 20:05

What a weird, controlling dickhead! Lucky escape.

Jedsnewstar · 04/03/2022 20:24

I think he wanted to eat his popcorn and then eat your Maltesers

Yes he probably likes the competitive under eating types. Because he is a sexist pig who thinks proper ladies should eat like a teeny bird and he has the added bonus of getting the extra.

Lucky escape.

Redheadedgrumpysaurus · 04/03/2022 20:27

Where does he work?

Let’s organise a mass malteaser eating sit-in. If we can get the crunch going in unison then it would
Work out brilliantly

SoItWas · 04/03/2022 20:42

Maybe he's just had one of those unexplainable "ick" moments, that there's no coming back from?
Eg an ex of his used to eat all her munchies before the movie, then steal his during, he told her every time to keep some, but she didn't, it used to bug the shit out of him and you potentially doing similar, put his back up? Or it could be something equally random.

Maybe it has nothing to do with the date at all, maybe his heads just not in it atm, and the whole time he was there, he was thinking he could be in bed catching up on much needed sleep, doing some overtime, visiting a sick relative, etc. I've stopped dating someone randomly for similar reasons, my life was just too busy/stressful, something had to give.

I know it's easier said than done, but don't take it personally. "I don’t think this will work out, it’s nothing personal", I think it's as simple as that? And at least he's being up front, and not stringing you along for sex/keeping you in limbo.

SoItWas · 04/03/2022 21:03

*Op I should have added, if it was the ick, it wasn't anything you did wrong, and doesn't mean he's a dick, it's just one of those things a lot of the time.

I quite fancied a guy in work once, was all set to say yes if he ever asked me out, then one day, he came in wearing the same coat my dad always wears, and that was the end of that, I couldn't flirt with him any more. Another guy asked me out, and I realised on our date, that he smiled/laughed just like another male relative of mine. That was the end ofthat, as soon as I noticed I made my excuses and left

Both lovely guys, but just no.

notacooldad · 04/03/2022 22:33

I asked Dh to pick me up a box ofslteasers on the back of this thread

( top top sometimes the boxes work better value than packets when you look at the price per 100g. Not all the time but often)

Fairislefandango · 04/03/2022 22:48

I think he was annoyed that you didn't stop eating when he asked you to. It's the first little sign that he expects you to do things the way he wants or he'll show his disapproval. There'll be more, and worse, where that came from. Dont hang around!

^This.

As for those po-faced people banging on about calories... OP has had a lucky ecape if that was his reason too.

Treaclepie19 · 04/03/2022 22:55

@notacooldad

I asked Dh to pick me up a box ofslteasers on the back of this thread

( top top sometimes the boxes work better value than packets when you look at the price per 100g. Not all the time but often)

I had to get some for this evening as well 🙈
notacooldad · 04/03/2022 23:06

As for those po-faced people banging on about calories... OP has had a lucky ecape if that was his reason too
Absolutely! Enjoy everything! Sweets cakes, wine, beer, ,cocktails, whatever you like! Don’t have some miserable git sucking the fun out of life!

Another top tip, ( I’m full of them tonight) try to nibble all the chocolate from the malteaser first. 1 it’ll drive your do nuts and 2 it makes the malteaser last longer! 😂😂

Annabelle69 · 04/03/2022 23:29

@SoItWas

*Op I should have added, if it was the ick, it wasn't anything you did wrong, and doesn't mean he's a dick, it's just one of those things a lot of the time.

I quite fancied a guy in work once, was all set to say yes if he ever asked me out, then one day, he came in wearing the same coat my dad always wears, and that was the end of that, I couldn't flirt with him any more. Another guy asked me out, and I realised on our date, that he smiled/laughed just like another male relative of mine. That was the end ofthat, as soon as I noticed I made my excuses and left

Both lovely guys, but just no.

Perfectly valid reasons @SoItWas for not wanting to date someone. I had a dinner date with a guy who ate loudly with his mouth open. I told him I didn't want to see him again.

Although, according to 90% of the Mumsnet responses here, that would make you or I controlling psychos and those men had very lucky escapes.

The OPs date wasn't into her, for whatever reason we shall never really know. It's really not complicated.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/03/2022 23:30

The chocolate peels off some maltesers really easily but not others. I find this baffling.

TangerineClay · 04/03/2022 23:43

Although, according to 90% of the Mumsnet responses here, that would make you or I controlling psychos and those men had very lucky escapes
If you behaved during the date how the op's date behaved, then yes they did have lucky escapes

JovialNickname · 05/03/2022 00:02

You probably looked really hot, were happy and confident in yourself, good company, and unashamedly liked eating lots of maltesers! (good for you)!! As I get older it becomes more and more apparent some men don't like this, a lot of them actually. You're not supposed to be happy in yourself, you're supposed to hang on to them for approval. You were supposed to plaintively whinge "well I suppose I could just have ONE" when he had scoffed most of them and deigned to offer you one of your own chocolates at the end of the film. You would also have been expected to hang on to his every word when he was offering his thoughts on the film, even if (especially?) he was a moron with no insights to offer. It's so depressing. Well done for accidentally giving him a swerve

Itsnotover · 05/03/2022 00:09

He’s a twat and thank goodness you’ve seen his true colours early on. Who the hell does he think he is?

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