To think smacking was 'acceptable' in the 90s?

[Grapeflavour]

My parents smacked me as a child, usually if I did something they deemed as 'very naughty' or sometimes if I just didn't stop doing something quite trivial, they would threaten me with smacking.

I just assumed this was normal (albeit bad) attitudes back then, but talking to a couple of friends around the same age (30s) recently, it seems like that's not the case? They seemed pretty horrified that my dad used to occasionally hit me well into my teens if I pissed him off. As a teen he would often square up to me and threaten to 'knock me out' if I challenged him or talked back. I was 16 the last time he hit me. (I know this behaviour is totally unacceptable, and bearing in mind he is a huge 6"2 man and I was a 5"5 teenage girl). I think this has had an impact on me and trying to work through it.

Would you say it was fairly typical and normalised for parents to smack kids as punishment in the 90s? Or not at all?

Was normal with everyone I know growing up including myself

Ps. I think smacking kids is abhorrent. I'm just curious about attitudes of the time as I wouldn't be able to tell, I was too young.

I think a tap on the backside/legs of a much younger child was overlooked in a way it would not be today.

I was "smacked" in this way but not past the age of maybe 8 or 9 and I think it was becoming less accepted even then (early 90s).

No, I don’t think so, I think it had been deemed unacceptable by then. I remember slapping my first in the late 90’s, and hoping no one had seen, and felt really bad about it.

Oh and yes it was standard among all the kids I knew. A "smack bottom" was a known concept.

Not at all. DS was born in 1996 and it was definitely unacceptable.

I think it was fairly normal to smack very small children (under 5s maybe) if they did something unusually naughty but hitting secondary age children sounds odd to me, even thinking back to the 90s.

It was acceptable in a sense - but based on your OP that wasn't just smacking and sounds quite abusive - unless there's a huge backstory about how you were a really horrendous teenager and were abusive to your parents for example.

I was smacked as a primary aged child in the 80s, back of leg or bum with an open hand I think. More by my mum than my dad. But not squared up to and threatened with being knocked out. Those are very different things.

I was born in the 80s and remember doing a debate and in y8 and was the only child in my class of 26 who was not smacked.

I was educated in the private sector and was smacked at school in the late 80s (it was only banned in 1998).

I was a teen in the 80s and that would have been considered Unusual in my circles.

I was smacked on the bottom, which seems fairly standard. What you experienced was pretty abnormal.

I had my children in the 90s and certainly didn’t consider smacking acceptable - no way!

I was fortunate because I was never hit as a child, but my friend was and I remember her confiding she found it difficult not to hit her child when they were naughty because of her upbringing. But she was aware this was because of her upbringing so fought it. So yup, definitely not considered good parenting in the 90s.

Your description sounds like more than just a smack, OP.

But no. I was a child in the 70s and 80s and wasn't smacked. By the 90s I'd assume it was even less acceptable.

Born in the early 80s and very definitely smacked on a reasonably frequent basis with a wooden spoon.

There’s all sorts of stuff that went on then that’s not ok today - my parents would leave me in charge of my 4 and 2 year old siblings aged 7, whilst they ran errands.

I think the later 90s where when attitudes to hitting children really started to change, in the early 90s a smacked bottom or back of the legs was still seen as acceptable , for young children at least. Your dad threatening to knock you out was definitely not normal at any point

80s child and yes I was smacked, infrequently but the threat of it was enough!!

Seems totally inappropriate now but, different times I guess and I had very loving parents

No way! Child in70s and never smacked.

My mum would give "slaps" that didn't hurt really. I remember I got a slap on my bum from my dad once and it has stayed with me forever. It's because I called my granddad a fucking bastard for not letting me have a Mars bar!

I digress. I do think smacking was "normal" in the 90s when I grew up. It certainly wasn't the (rightful) taboo it is now. However, a man squaring up to a teen definitely wasn't normal to me. I remember smacks when I was much younger and they were more soft tap. I don't ever remember being squared up to and I don't feel like that was ever normal.

My mum smacked me.
My dad never smacked me.
I don't think smacking is abhorrent.

Not sure any behaviour as a child warrants being hit, but I was genuinely a very good kid. I loved school, loved reading and music, excelled academically. Was never in any trouble at all. All I wanted to do was hang out at my very tame, geeky friends' houses, sing and make up dance routines.

I think threats to ‘knock you out’ and squaring up were not normal - is that what some are saying? But getting smacked for misbehaving was. I remember my mum slapping me in the face in a heated moment when I was a teenager, and I know she was appalled with herself, I milked that for ages. I didn’t think that was normal then and wouldn’t have told my friends.

I was born in the 80’s and was never smacked so to me it wasn’t normal.

I was very rarely smacked on the bottom or legs, but only if I had repeatedly ignored what my parents had told me to do. It was never with any force and not past the age of nine or ten. What you’re describing is quite different from this type of scenario and sounds quite abusive.

I think the type of smacking that was considered normal wasn't what you experienced which seems more extreme. It was the same for me, it wasn't until I was an adult that I found out that what happened to me was not normal atall. Don't get me wrong I don't believe in any kind or severity of smacking. I would never lay a finger on my DC and cannot understand why any parent would. But light smacking was considered normal in the 80s and less so but probably for some in the 90s too.