Not to buy colleague a ready meal?

[CloseYourEyesAndSee]

I hardly ever think of AIBUs but this feels appropriate
In the office the other day, I was going to stretch my legs. A colleague asked me to buy her a chicken ready meal if I went near a shop.
I went to marks and Spencer to buy Percy pigs. The ready meals were about £5. She didn't offer me money before I went, she's not in my team and I might not see her in person for months. I would probably have ended up paying for her lunch.
I also don't like her, she's rude and weird and messed with my stuff once because I was using the desk she likes.
Final point, I'm vegan and don't want to buy chicken, but I was too chicken (lol) to say that.
If I liked her, I would have happily bought a meal but I would have said can I get you a veggie one instead, and I wouldn't have minded if I didn't get paid back.
I told her the meals were £5 and I didn't feel comfortable spending that much of her money without her agreement. But I never had any real intention of buying one, mostly because there were no actual supermarkets nearby anyway.
Context, I'm a manager and she isn't, but I'm a lone parent and broke as shit.

So, was I a total cow (YABU) or a diplomatic genius? (YANBU)

So did you tell her you’d pick up her lunch and had no intention of doing so?

Yabu, you should’ve just said ‘sorry I’m not going in a shop’ then she could’ve made other plans.

Why so passive aggressive?

I don't blame you , I would have just said I got sidetracked and forgot .
Sometimes it's hard getting money back off colleagues you see every day . Don't worry about it its not worth the brain space 😊

Weird. Presumably she knows the price of an M and S ready meal so was happy to pay that? Seems a bit mean not to get one but I guess you could have asked for the money in advance and explained that you're skint.

@LawnFever

So did you tell her you’d pick up her lunch and had no intention of doing so?

Yabu, you should’ve just said ‘sorry I’m not going in a shop’ then she could’ve made other plans.

Why so passive aggressive?

I said I was going for a walk. There are some shops nearby but I'd never been in that office before and wasn't sure if there was a sainsbos or whatever. I didn't have zero intention of buying it but when I realised there was only a marks I decided I wouldn't.

While I get your point, I think you should have said No straight out so that she could arrange to go out herself to buy her lunch.

@Zonder

Weird. Presumably she knows the price of an M and S ready meal so was happy to pay that? Seems a bit mean not to get one but I guess you could have asked for the money in advance and explained that you're skint.

She didn't know I was going to marks. I don't know her well enough to ask for money up front and say I'm skint. I'm a manager, it would be awkward.

@GoogleWhacked

While I get your point, I think you should have said No straight out so that she could arrange to go out herself to buy her lunch.

I probably should. But that's rude! Maybe I should have lied and said I didn't go into a shop but I was eating my Percy pigs so I wouldn't have got away with it

Does nobody think she was unreasonable to ask a manager she barely knows to buy her lunch without offering cash up front? I would never

I think I'd have asked far the money when she asked me to buy it.
I don't think you did anything wrong though.

Why would anyone ask someone to pick up a ready meal for them?

Weird.

I think you handled it perfectly. You also subtly pointed out "you WOULD be paying me back, right?" for next time in case she's going to ask again and then never get round to paying for it!

@CloseYourEyesAndSee

Does nobody think she was unreasonable to ask a manager she barely knows to buy her lunch without offering cash up front? I would never

She should have offered money up front

Not sure what being a manager has to do with it though?

Not sure what being a manager has to do with it though?

I don't know, probably nothing. I would have felt super weird asking a manager who wasn't my manager to buy me things without paying up front.

@TootsAtOwls

I think you handled it perfectly. You also subtly pointed out "you WOULD be paying me back, right?" for next time in case she's going to ask again and then never get round to paying for it!

She won't ask me again

I would have asked for the money upfront, saying I never carry cash,

@CloseYourEyesAndSee

Does nobody think she was unreasonable to ask a manager she barely knows to buy her lunch without offering cash up front? I would never

By the way Yes, I do think she was unreasonable to even ask! I'd barely ask a good friend without offering money, let alone a manager that I barely know. I think that shows that you would have had trouble getting the money back. Day one she has no lunch and no money, Day two she's so sorry that she forgot, Day three oops forgot again, tomorrow I promise! And on and on.... until you give up.

YWBU to eat Percy pigs when you are a vegan.

Day one she has no lunch and no money, Day two she's so sorry that she forgot, Day three oops forgot again, tomorrow I promise!

Exactly! And because of covid we may go weeks before we are in the office together again, so days one to three could be over a period of months...

@PinkSyCo

YWBU to eat Percy pigs when you are a vegan.

They are vegan aren't they?

@CloseYourEyesAndSee

Does nobody think she was unreasonable to ask a manager she barely knows to buy her lunch without offering cash up front? I would never

No, all she did was ask if you’d pick up a ready meal as you were going out, it’s hardly rude. I would have assumed she’d pay when you brought it back and if not immediately offered surely you just say thats £5 please?

You come across as quite petty and seem weirdly pleased with yourself about the whole thing. You knew you had no intention of buying it so you should have just said no. If you were too “chicken” 🙄 to refuse then you could easily have said you weren’t planning to go into a shop or that you didn’t have cash.

I love these responses
Personally I think I was a bit of a twat. She was a twat to me first though but she doesn't realise she was because she's generally twatty.

I think it was poorly handled to be honest, either say no, or say yes and do it. As it was, presumably a fair chunk of lunch break was over and she then had to leave and get the lunch you said you'd pick up. Next time why not either say no or say sure, but I don't have any cash on me so I'll need the money now

You come across as very unprofessional. All you needed to do was either say no, or get the money before you went. It's not rude to say no, it is rude to say you will and then come back with nothing.

I don't know, probably nothing. I would have felt super weird asking a manager who wasn't my manager to buy me things without paying up front.

But you'd be totally cool with it if they worked in a non managerial role?

It's a cheeky thing to ask anyone.

She was a twat to me first though but she doesn't realise she was because she's generally twatty.

You're acting like a child.