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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to buy colleague a ready meal?

409 replies

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 17:55

I hardly ever think of AIBUs but this feels appropriate
In the office the other day, I was going to stretch my legs. A colleague asked me to buy her a chicken ready meal if I went near a shop.
I went to marks and Spencer to buy Percy pigs. The ready meals were about £5. She didn't offer me money before I went, she's not in my team and I might not see her in person for months. I would probably have ended up paying for her lunch.
I also don't like her, she's rude and weird and messed with my stuff once because I was using the desk she likes.
Final point, I'm vegan and don't want to buy chicken, but I was too chicken (lol) to say that.
If I liked her, I would have happily bought a meal but I would have said can I get you a veggie one instead, and I wouldn't have minded if I didn't get paid back.
I told her the meals were £5 and I didn't feel comfortable spending that much of her money without her agreement. But I never had any real intention of buying one, mostly because there were no actual supermarkets nearby anyway.
Context, I'm a manager and she isn't, but I'm a lone parent and broke as shit.

So, was I a total cow (YABU) or a diplomatic genius? (YANBU)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Original poster
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 19:17

@IDidntKnowItWasAParty

I didn't have no intention. I had a small intention.

From your first post: But I never had any real intention of buying one

You are one strange puppy OP.

Ok, that's fair I would have bought her one if there was a Tesco or whatever right outside with a ready meal for under £2 I didn't think that was likely, and it wasn't
OP posts:
SmellyOldOwls · 03/03/2022 19:18

@ExtraOnion

Passive Aggressive bullshit.. how on earth are you a manger ? You can’t say no, you carry grudges, you think you are diplomatic (you’re not)

Saying all that .. I think this whole thread is attention seeking nonsense - nobody in RL to talk to, so you come on here to court attention from strangers

It’s all very odd…

Blimey Confused who pissed on your chips today?
Original poster
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 19:18

@SmellyOldOwls

I've worked with so many people like that. If they don't offer money upfront, you're never getting it back. Even if you say 'that's £5 please' they'll say oh no I don't appear to have any change in my purse. Fuck that.
Thank you!!
OP posts:
IDidntKnowItWasAParty · 03/03/2022 19:18

Absolutely no one is suggesting that you're being clever OP lol

Original poster
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 19:19

@ExtraOnion

Passive Aggressive bullshit.. how on earth are you a manger ? You can’t say no, you carry grudges, you think you are diplomatic (you’re not)

Saying all that .. I think this whole thread is attention seeking nonsense - nobody in RL to talk to, so you come on here to court attention from strangers

It’s all very odd…

Haha Well I don't have anyone to talk to tonight, which is why I'm on mumsnet I do generally have friends and a boyfriend to talk to as well as a kid so I'm not a complete loner
OP posts:
ChateauxNeufDePoop · 03/03/2022 19:19

@CloseYourEyesAndSee

I love these responses Grin Personally I think I was a bit of a twat. She was a twat to me first though but she doesn't realise she was because she's generally twatty.
Probably makes you worse then.
jezzyj · 03/03/2022 19:19

@ExtraOnion

Passive Aggressive bullshit.. how on earth are you a manger ? You can’t say no, you carry grudges, you think you are diplomatic (you’re not)

Saying all that .. I think this whole thread is attention seeking nonsense - nobody in RL to talk to, so you come on here to court attention from strangers

It’s all very odd…

Your posting here too- no friends in real life, eh? Bit far over a silly anecdote and your clearly attention seeking by posting this comment.

Cocomarine · 03/03/2022 19:20

@CloseYourEyesAndSee

I love these responses Grin Personally I think I was a bit of a twat. She was a twat to me first though but she doesn't realise she was because she's generally twatty.
This. But you redeem yourself with the self awareness and honesty 😆
BronwenFrideswide · 03/03/2022 19:21

This! If I was going out to a shop and a colleague asked me to pick up lunch for them I wouldn’t do any of the following:

Insist on cash upfront (who does that? Wouldn’t you just come back and say, ‘that was £X’? Asking for the cash in advance makes you look a bit mistrustful and frankly nutty)

Say that I’d pick something up then decide not to. Leaving the other person with nothing to eat.

Rejoice at the other person not getting any lunch because they are, in my opinion ‘twatty’ and deserve to be punished for it.

Decide whilst out, having agreed to buy a specific item, that I wasn’t going to buy what the person wanted after all because I don’t agree with their choice.

This. Plus being too weak to say 'No' at the outset, if this is the standard of managers in the workplace then we are all truly fucked.

Hahaha
She was pushing her wish to eat disgusting chicken carcass onto me, no?

Christ, grow up she wasn't asking you to eat it was she.

Lougle · 03/03/2022 19:21

You aren't putting yourself in a good light here but I'm getting the impression you're not too bothered about that.

Marmelace · 03/03/2022 19:21

Craving flipping Percy Pigs now, and I'm not allowed sweets! I'm cursed Grin

Original poster
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 19:23

@Lougle

You aren't putting yourself in a good light here but I'm getting the impression you're not too bothered about that.
Obviously I'm not I know it was stupid behaviour and I annoyed myself tbh so I thought I would bring it to mumsnet to get a bit of a kicking Grin Most people voting agree with me though so I don't feel too bad
OP posts:
BuyDirt · 03/03/2022 19:24

I can understand you not wanting to buy her lunch if you felt that you would end up paying for it. She should have given you the money.

But I’m vegan and wouldn’t have bought her a chicken meal either. I don’t even buy it for my partner and son that eat meat so no way would I buy it for someone at work. I wouldn’t eat Percy Pigs either though. 😬

CarrieHughes · 03/03/2022 19:25

Hahaha OP you have a good SOFH and I don't think it's silly behaviour.
As pp said she'd probably 'forget' to pay you.
Why extra hassle when you don't need it?

FantasticFebruary · 03/03/2022 19:26

@pupcakes

Urgh, YABU. I can't get my head around vegans pushing their agenda onto non vegans.
It's not pushing your agenda to not do something that goes against your morals (buying meat).

The CF can buy her own meat.

JemimaTiggywinkle · 03/03/2022 19:26

Erm excuse me OP, you said you were eating Percy pigs but those are clearly Percy Pigs and Pals! Completely different.

I think they do special veggie Percys, don’t know if they’re vegan or not though.

And no YANBU - she shouldn’t have asked you to get her lunch if you just said you were going for walk. That’s very different to “I’m going to the shop, does anyone want anything”.

Regularsizedrudy · 03/03/2022 19:27

@CarrieHughes

Also OP it sounds childish but if you (like most women) were raised as a people pleaser it gives you a little thrill to stand up for yourself
She didn’t stand up for herself though?
Original poster
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 19:27

@BuyDirt

I can understand you not wanting to buy her lunch if you felt that you would end up paying for it. She should have given you the money.

But I’m vegan and wouldn’t have bought her a chicken meal either. I don’t even buy it for my partner and son that eat meat so no way would I buy it for someone at work. I wouldn’t eat Percy Pigs either though. 😬

I should have just said that. Oddly I didn't want to appear to be a sanctimonious twat. So I was a disappointing lunch promising twat instead. However, she was also U for not giving me money upfront. Everyone agrees on that I think.
OP posts:
Original poster
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 19:28

@JemimaTiggywinkle

Erm excuse me OP, you said you were eating Percy pigs but those are clearly Percy Pigs and Pals! Completely different.

I think they do special veggie Percys, don’t know if they’re vegan or not though.

And no YANBU - she shouldn’t have asked you to get her lunch if you just said you were going for walk. That’s very different to “I’m going to the shop, does anyone want anything”.

They are all veggie now! But not apparently vegan :(
OP posts:
Mamamia7962 · 03/03/2022 19:29

BuyDirt - If your son asked you for a ham sandwich would you refuse to make it for him?

Just curious.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/03/2022 19:30

"However, she was also U for not giving me money upfront. Everyone agrees on that I think."

I don't. I think it makes more sense to pay afterwards when you know how much it was.

Marmelace · 03/03/2022 19:31

@Mamamia7962

BuyDirt - If your son asked you for a ham sandwich would you refuse to make it for him?

Just curious.

Only if it was wafer thin, what a question
Lulu1919 · 03/03/2022 19:31

So if you're a vegetarian you find it hard to buy meat for other people ...I've not heard this before ..not saying you're wrong obviously it's up to you it's just not something I've come across
Which misses the point sorry !!

Original poster
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 03/03/2022 19:32

@Gwenhwyfar

"However, she was also U for not giving me money upfront. Everyone agrees on that I think."

I don't. I think it makes more sense to pay afterwards when you know how much it was.

If you give someone a fiver or tenner they bring you the change. That's normal.
OP posts:
Lulu1919 · 03/03/2022 19:33

Sorry you're vegan ...
You CAN get vegan Percy pigs

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