Not to buy colleague a ready meal?

[CloseYourEyesAndSee]

I hardly ever think of AIBUs but this feels appropriate
In the office the other day, I was going to stretch my legs. A colleague asked me to buy her a chicken ready meal if I went near a shop.
I went to marks and Spencer to buy Percy pigs. The ready meals were about £5. She didn't offer me money before I went, she's not in my team and I might not see her in person for months. I would probably have ended up paying for her lunch.
I also don't like her, she's rude and weird and messed with my stuff once because I was using the desk she likes.
Final point, I'm vegan and don't want to buy chicken, but I was too chicken (lol) to say that.
If I liked her, I would have happily bought a meal but I would have said can I get you a veggie one instead, and I wouldn't have minded if I didn't get paid back.
I told her the meals were £5 and I didn't feel comfortable spending that much of her money without her agreement. But I never had any real intention of buying one, mostly because there were no actual supermarkets nearby anyway.
Context, I'm a manager and she isn't, but I'm a lone parent and broke as shit.

So, was I a total cow (YABU) or a diplomatic genius? (YANBU)

@CloseYourEyesAndSee

Does nobody think she was unreasonable to ask a manager she barely knows to buy her lunch without offering cash up front? I would never

I do!

@Hotpinkangel19

You come across as if she shouldn't have had the cheek to ask you because you are a Manager, and are therefore far too superior to buy a lowly employee a ready meal!

Nooooo It's just a weird thing to do. I haven't been a manager very long so I still think like a team member and I would never It would be cheeky to ask any random colleague without putting your hand in your pocket. But maybe she thinks I can afford to buy her lunch because of my not much bigger than her salary?

You said you didn't like her in one post, because she'd messed with your stuff etc before, but in another you said you didn't know what shops were nearby, because you'd not been in that office before. You seem to be contradicting yourself.

I agree with your reasons and for that id have said no before I left. YABU for giving them the impression you’d buy them lunch and then not doing so

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

I'm a bit concerned that you are a manager but unable to say no sorry to such a request. You should be able to handle saying no to people.

I do plenty of that

I'm still stuck on the chicken ready meal.

It's at once specific and yet non specific.

Was she after a creamy Alfredo number? A spicy chicken curry? A chicken salad bowl? Chicken pot noodle?

There's a pretty massive world of chicken ready meals out there.

But I would have just said no, sorry, I'm not going into a shop. Then smugly sat chomping on Percy Pigs.

@Mamamia7962

So if she had given you the money upfront would you have only bought her a vegan ready meal. That's really strange.

How would you feel if it was the other way round and a meat eater refused to buy you a vegan ready meal.

You sound really childish.

I'd have bought her the chicken if she'd have given me the money, though I would have resented it. And I'd never ask anyone else to buy my lunch for me.

You seem really weird OP.
Saying you'll buy lunch for someone when you had no intention of doing so.
Saying you're vegan but not knowing that Percy Pigs are not vegan.
Just weird.

@WTF475878237NC

I think it's mean to not have just said no, because you led her to believe lunch was coming and obviously never did.

Yeah. I didn't plan on this. I did say I might not go to a food shop and she knew that. But I did, and I didn't buy her the stupidly expensive meal. I wouldn't expect someone to spend a fiver on my behalf for lunch if I was in that situation ( not that I would be)

If the colleague didn't go out herself because she thought lunch was coming and then had nothing to eat all day, that's pretty awful.

She went out right away and was back in ten minutes. There was no way she wouldn't have been able to go out and get food.

I think this thread is bollox and the op has left small clues that people are not picking up on.

@Marmelace

You said you didn't like her in one post, because she'd messed with your stuff etc before, but in another you said you didn't know what shops were nearby, because you'd not been in that office before. You seem to be contradicting yourself.

We moved from one office in one town to another office in another town. It's not that complicated.

You come across as quite petty and seem weirdly pleased with yourself about the whole thing. You knew you had no intention of buying it so you should have just said no. If you were too “chicken” 🙄 to refuse then you could easily have said you weren’t planning to go into a shop or that you didn’t have cash.

Yes, and a man haver to sheepish to say no, or even say she's vegan. Yanbu but you don't come across well. You know your not in the wrong- what do you get from posting here?

@IDidntKnowItWasAParty

You seem really weird OP. Saying you'll buy lunch for someone when you had no intention of doing so. Saying you're vegan but not knowing that Percy Pigs are not vegan. Just weird.

I didn't have no intention. I had a small intention. I am vegan and I didn't know Percy pigs weren't. Why is that weird? I'll accept the rest of my behaviour was a bit weird, but this really wasn't.

@Marmelace

I think this thread is bollox and the op has left small clues that people are not picking up on.

I promise you it happened EXACTLY as I said! This would be a super pointless thing to make up.

@jezzyj

You come across as quite petty and seem weirdly pleased with yourself about the whole thing. You knew you had no intention of buying it so you should have just said no. If you were too “chicken” 🙄 to refuse then you could easily have said you weren’t planning to go into a shop or that you didn’t have cash.

Yes, and a man haver to sheepish to say no, or even say she's vegan. Yanbu but you don't come across well. You know your not in the wrong- what do you get from posting here?

Just a laugh really I never have good AIBUs and I knew I was unreasonable really and wanted to get a bit of a kicking for it Why does anyone ever post on AIBU?

Yeah, yeah, if you say so, kudos anyhow 😁

@Marmelace

I think this thread is bollox and the op has left small clues that people are not picking up on.

I agree.

You're a manager? Learn some assertiveness. What on earth would have been wrong with "sorry, i don'T know the area" "sorry I'm not going in any shops" or "I'm vegan, I can bring you a vegan meal if you give me the money upfront"

All you needed to say was I am sorry I can’t and leave it at that

Must admit as a meat eater I am now going to say to a vegan,veggie I am happy to get you one as long as it’s meat!

You're coming across as if you're superior.
"I'm a manager I can't possibly buy food for a lowly member of staff"
"I can't possibly buy vile meat products and I'm vegan (though I shall continue to eat Percy pigs because I'm not strong in my vegan beliefs)
Saying no is fine, but you should have been upfront "oh, I don't really know the area so I'm just wandering around. Probably best to ask someone who will definitely be popping into a shop, I wouldn't want you waiting around and me no manage to grab you anything"

I find it weird that you're hung up on being a manager, but you don't have the ability to communicate.

I didn't have no intention. I had a small intention.

From your first post: But I never had any real intention of buying one

You are one strange puppy OP.

Passive Aggressive bullshit.. how on earth are you a manger ? You can’t say no, you carry grudges, you think you are diplomatic (you’re not)

Saying all that .. I think this whole thread is attention seeking nonsense - nobody in RL to talk to, so you come on here to court attention from strangers

It’s all very odd…

@Marmelace

Yeah, yeah, if you say so, kudos anyhow 😁

Honestly! This couldn't be more true if it tried Here is a picture of the wrapper as proof I really want to know in what way you think I'm being clever or something though?

I've worked with so many people like that. If they don't offer money upfront, you're never getting it back. Even if you say 'that's £5 please' they'll say oh no I don't appear to have any change in my purse. Fuck that.