To think if you work from home, you’ll have interruptions

[Positivelyperfect]

I have a DH wfh and a toddler. I pick the toddler up at around 4, home for 430. DH finishes at 6, which leaves an hour and a half or so of time where DS is constantly trying to get to DH, crying and having tantrums.

DH ‘solution’ to this is take DS out but tbh I really don’t think I should have to do this five days a week!

If his office is a corridor then I can understand the problem

I'm guessing you don't have a spare room or a desk in your bedroom so he can work upstairs and out of the way?

If he is going to be WFH permanently then you need another solution. Can you put an office shed in the garden maybe?

There

It's not fair for him to expect you to take toddler out every single evening in the winter.

It's also not sustainable that he works in a shared space. He needs to work in a private space that isn't a through route to the kitchen. I've been working in the corner of my bedroom for the last 2 years. Not ideal but the only alternative is for me to be interrupted on a regular basis when my kids are at home

DS is only just over one - not really able to process a reasoned discussion about working daddies. All he knows is that his dad is there and he can’t get to him. He’s tired after a day at nursery anyway. So really I should add an unpaid hour onto my work time, DS should do an extra hour in nursery so DH should have the right to work in undisturbed silence in a family home? That’s nuts!

We don’t have a garden.

clearly its not reasonable to commandeer half the downstairs space including the kitchen. It is actually a HOME. So as others have said he needs to have a plan for the last couple of hours of the day and do his best with the door shut. If employers are going to allow WFH they cannot expect the same conditions in terms of background noise as in an office.

He needs to go work somewhere else...Costa or something.

Or there's loads of shared office space places now where you can just book a desk for a bit.

God I HATED having my exh working at home years ago and I didn't have a child. He took over the house. Your house is a home firstly.

He needs to be in a separate room with a lockable door. What about bedroom?

Both DH and I WFH (me evenings, him days) and when we don't want to be disturbed then our office doors are locked.

He needs to find somewhere else to work

Is DH working in the in between room a permanent situation? DH has a study but it’s tricky to sound proof the room. You all have the right to be on the space. If DH can’t or won’t work somewhere more discreet (including share working space or office) then he’s going to have to lump it.

Also DD very quickly got used to the idea that when office door is closed, Mummy/Daddy aren't accessible. It took a few days of perseverance and an impenetrable door though!

Definitely unreasonable to take toddler out 5x a week, maybe the odd one. If he was older I’d suggest firm and consistent explanations but that’s too little.

DH needs another plan.

I think there is room for compromise, assuming him working from home is because it is required/ cheaper, and nit just because he wants to! One day you go to the supermarket, do the shop and have tea in the cafe. Two days he goes to Costa, or similar. One day you do swimming/ library/ playdate (return the playdate on his Costa days). One day you bribe toddler with TV and treats.

I WFH and have a toddler. I go to a bedroom for the last hour of the day. I move there before she arrives and use a headset for calls so I can talk relatively quietly. On the rare occasion she finds me, I give her a kiss and a cuddle and don't be a dick to the person looking after her because...toddlers gonna toddle.

So really I should add an unpaid hour onto my work time, DS should do an extra hour in nursery so DH should have the right to work in undisturbed silence in a family home? That’s nuts!

This, and some of the replies, seem to be based on the notion that darling husband is being entirely unreasonable working, that it's some pointless annoying past time of his, and he should buck his ideas up and help you with child care. I'm guessing that the money he earns from this job goes into family coffers to help support you all, including darling son? In which case I think you need to acknowledge that what he's doing is an important family activity, not some sort of distraction from it.

He isn’t really interested in television yet. He may watch something like Hey Bear for a few minutes but not an hour and a half.

DH can’t really go to Costa or similar - it feels like stalemate. I really do feel like I’ve got the worst of both worlds at the moment and it does get me down at times.

It’s entirely unreasonable to expect no noise when wfh, especially when work is happening in a shared area of the house.

My DH had his set up in our bedroom because we agreed that was the place that would give us all the most freedom.

@AuntyBumBum I’m not suggesting he quits work but I do object to the suggestion I’m a ratty housewife and some of the other replies have made it clear this is how I am viewed as well. I should be cooking dinner while DH finishes work and entertaining our child. Except hang on … I’ve been working as well.

@Kdubs1981

Your house is first and foremost a home, not a place of work. He needs to find a solution, not you

Easier said than done if his role is home based.

If I’m working at home I’m working, I’ve got stuff to do and if there’s another adult in the house they need to be in charge of kids.

If employers are going to allow WFH they cannot expect the same conditions in terms of background noise as in an office.

Exactly

If he needs perfect office conditions then he's going to have to go to the office or create that somewhere else. Commandeering family space isn't the answer.

This is why i made dh move from kitchen table to upstairs in our room
As he was frowning at the kids getting a drink or me putting washing in , so he is now set uo in the bedroom

[quote Positivelyperfect]@AuntyBumBum I’m not suggesting he quits work but I do object to the suggestion I’m a ratty housewife and some of the other replies have made it clear this is how I am viewed as well. I should be cooking dinner while DH finishes work and entertaining our child. Except hang on … I’ve been working as well.[/quote]
If you were working the last 90mins at the end of the day wouldn’t you want to get on uninterrupted though?

I don’t think it’s unreasonable for whoever is responsible for childcare to allow the other person to get on with their work.

Can he nit go back into the office now ?

@AuntyBumBum it isn't that. It's just simply unreasonable to have the perks of no commute but not having a practical space to work. Not right for employer or employee. I feel sorry for what must be thousands of people now in this position. It isn't good for relationships.

Where are you based @Positivelyperfect? Are you in countryside? Could you look into some sort of outside office space? You sure there isn't a place available somewhere? There's been a bunch of these shared office spaces pop up here. Great business idea.

Just keep him away from the door! You can't allow him to bang on the door and shout through it, that's crazy. You just have to keep him with you and keep your eye on him.

@Positivelyperfect

DS is only just over one - not really able to process a reasoned discussion about working daddies. All he knows is that his dad is there and he can’t get to him. He’s tired after a day at nursery anyway. So really I should add an unpaid hour onto my work time, DS should do an extra hour in nursery so DH should have the right to work in undisturbed silence in a family home? That’s nuts!

Why do you have to do unpaid work?

Have a chill out hour for yoga or something.

But from the sounds of it, longer nursery hours is the answer.