Jo Malone candles and MIL.

[Flatdeadfrog]

I've name changed as details are a little bit outing as I've talked to friends about this.

My MIL is a bit of a scented candle aficionado and can be a bit precious about the types of scented candles she'll have in the house. That's fair enough, as you like what you like. BUT for mothers day, she has specified she wants a new scented candle for her hall.

DH likes to oblige his mum as she's actually lovely, but his default is to just buy an expensive Jo Malone candle. We don't actually have a Jo Malone budget, as we are feeling the pinch as I am on maternity leave and we're struggling a bit financially because of it.

DH and I have had an argument about it tonight, as I feel that MIL would be upset to think that we're spending our weekly food budget on an expensive candle (and frankly I think it's a waste), but DH really wants to get something nice for his mum. MIL loves scented candles, but something cheaper like a Yankee candle would just be shoved to the back of the cupboard.

AIBU to think MIL can do without a candle this year? Or can anybody recommend anything nice scent/candle wise that wouldn't get wasted like a Yankee candle would?

MIL is lovely, she would be appalled at the idea we'd spent our weekly food shop on a candle, but DH can't see past getting his mum a gift for mothers day and getting what she's asked for.

@Onautopilot

For her own well being, and anyone visiting, especially babies, one of the houseplants which soaks up the formaldehyde produced would be a better present.... Trust Me Im A Doctor did a great programme about indoor pollution and the nasty chemicals released by scented candles and fresheners. Quite the eye opener

Not if a candle is uk made using ingredients made in the UK. The laws are stricter in the UK than any other country. Mass produced candles are usually made in China and have god knows what in them. Any imports to the UK do not have to adhere to the strict regulations UK makers have to, nor do they have to out an allergens label on

@SirChenjins

Another vote for Wonky Candles - it’s a young man with a disability who has started this company and the candles are amazing with beautiful scents.

Not all they appear to be, and very clever marketing?

@MiddleParking agree with you on the JM candle aspect. But there must be a middle ground

Maybe try eBay to see if anyone is selling any unwanted gifts?

@MiddleParking must be a middle ground between a JM candle and a £1 bunch of daffs I mean.

Just buy her something else! And encourage your share to not get into asking her what she wants (if that’s what’s happened). A gift shouldn’t be on the expectation of the receiver.

@Missushbb

Skye candle company are lovely too and quite cheap compared to JM

Second vote for skye candles their sandalwood and patchouli is one of my all time favourites

I think I've got a free candle offer on my sparks card

The white company are half the price of jo malone and still fancy

must be a middle ground between a JM candle and a £1 bunch of daffs I mean. I think £1 daff from Tesco is the sort of thing a small grandchild gives their grandparents.

I think the OP is more outraged with the idea of her MIL getting a £50 gift.
doesn’t matter if there ways for getting it way less in places like charity shops or eBay.

www.beefayre.com/product-category/for-your-home/large-candles/

These are lovely. Jo Malone is owned by Estee Lauder, and Diptique use paraffin wax.

I wouldn't buy another cheaper candle. She will not use it and you will look like you don't know what she likes -or she will understand the reasons and will feel guilty that you couldn't afford the one she liked - whole can of worms. Buy something else entirely that is not about smell. She clearly is picky with smells (as are most people).

OP, I can really, really recommend these candles. Irish made, started as a small wee company. I was a Jo Malone/Max Benjamin fan until these. They are so beautiful. My DH came in the other day, and he is completely not interested in candles, etc. BUt he just said, "it really does smell like a beautiful meadow in here." I had the Meadow candle lit.
I love them. NI based so should be fine for delivery.
Here.

Other posters have said you can get a small Jo Malone candle for £25, and this is what the Op says she can spend, so what is the problem? If you spend £25 on something else, you do seem to be policing the gift too much.
This is possibly bugging me more than it should as, like many people, I have no mother or mil to buy for anymore and I wish I could have got them whatever they wanted in the time we had together, I don't regret any money that we did spend on them.

I think £1 daff from Tesco is the sort of thing a small grandchild gives their grandparents.

I can very much assure you that this is not the case. (Occasionally we do double-up with two bunches for the opulent "wow" factor )

Ignore the request for a candle and buy something else. It is very poor manners to tell people what present they have to buy especially expensive presents.

@dunkery

Ignore the request for a candle and buy something else. It is very poor manners to tell people what present they have to buy especially expensive presents.

I expect OP’s husband asked her what she’d like.

@Mistressiggi

Other posters have said you can get a small Jo Malone candle for £25, and this is what the Op says she can spend, so what is the problem? If you spend £25 on something else, you do seem to be policing the gift too much. This is possibly bugging me more than it should as, like many people, I have no mother or mil to buy for anymore and I wish I could have got them whatever they wanted in the time we had together, I don't regret any money that we did spend on them.

Lets hope others take on board how they will feel when their mum's/MIL aren't around anymore, I hope they don't have regrets.

Just get the small one if you can afford that. Love is not measured in burning time of the candle given. He could cool for her or something. Time is precious.

Cook

I love woodwick candles.I love how they crackle when burning

As others have said, buy a handmade, local artisan one made with soy wax and genuine oils - not Jo Malone paraffin wax - it's toxic stuff.

Mass produced stuff CAN be good, but JM really isn't (anymore) - the ingredients are cheap crap in fab packaging.

There's load of choice. Quality over 'brand' is the way to go, imo. Or think about your MiL favourite scents - roses, whatever - and pour your own candle with oils of her favourite fragrances. The bits you need are cheap to buy and you can use a jam jar!

@ApolloandDaphne

I love a JoMalone candle but I have recently been buying the Aldi dupes. They are fantastic and cost pennies compared to the Jo Malone ones. Get her one of them.

Are they really as good?

I would be so upset to get a £50 candle if I thought for a second it would mean hardship. If he is set on it then it has to come out of his money alone.

I'm shocking for candles but my most favourite thing is a candle melt thing. It wasnt expensive and I can buy good quality melts. Might that be an option?

As for daffodils my favourite! A massive vase full would look incredible!

Parks Candle in Original scent is beautiful.

So too is Brooke and Shoals Sweet Pea and Tea Rose.

I second third Le Bougie Mission Fig.
They also do a gorgeous Coconut and hibiscus one, which I prefer to Mission Fig.