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Original poster

Second hand for baby

150 replies

Purplerain1144 · 02/03/2022 12:09

So back story... 12w pregnant with first baby. I will only get SMP so trying to save money where possible. Husbands sister has a 6 month old. She has already criticised for the order we told family and friends our news and made me upset (she is very opinionated). Discussing last night about cloth nappies and I have said I'm going to buy 2nd hand cloth nappies to save money in long run and for the sustainability aspect too. She has said she can't believe I am going to buy 2nd hand, she would never buy anything second hand for her baby etc etc. Basically made me feel like an awful mum before I've even started! Husband just sat there and didn't back me up, so I've now said I'm not going to discuss any decisions with her now as it just makes me upset. Thoughts??

OP posts:
TheSmallAssassin · 02/03/2022 12:12

Yes, just don't discuss things with her. I had second hand washable nappies and they were fine, it meant I could have more! And I sold them on too, so someone was happy to have them third hand!

Nsky · 02/03/2022 12:12

I had nearly everything secondhand, cot, playpen lots of stuff, it’s wise

Wisemensay · 02/03/2022 12:13

I got tons second hand for my DD. My sister who has a lot more money than me but very thrifty got almost everything for her baby second hand. All looks brand new and she must have saved a fortune!

MartinMartinMarti · 02/03/2022 12:13

Your SIL is a rude idiot, and your husband is wet.

Second hand is awesome!

PeacefulPrune · 02/03/2022 12:14

There's no need for new clothes for babies just for them to poo and sick on them and then grow out of them in 2 months max anyway. It's absolutely fine for people to do things differently but she should not be imposing her way on you.

Noname1999 · 02/03/2022 12:14

Why not? It's not like babies wear things out! Also there's a raging second hand market for nappies so it's likely you'll make your money back anyway.

Tsuni · 02/03/2022 12:15

You know you're not an awful mum. Caring about your children's future and the Earth is not awful. She is judgemental and will be passing that on to her children.
Does your husband ever stick up for you?

Mamamia7962 · 02/03/2022 12:16

Nothing wrong with second hand stuff at all. All my daughter's things were second hand apart from her car seat. People used to comment on how lovely my daughter's clothes were. All second hand from a boot fair.

Iseeyoulookingatme · 02/03/2022 12:17

Ignore her op she can waste her money on shiny new things. There is no shame in having second hand things, it's great for the environment and your wallet to. Babies grow out of things so quickly.

grey12 · 02/03/2022 12:17

I have 3 kids Grin does she except me to buy new each time?!

The things I've heard you shouldn't have second hand is the carseat (very important!!!), and the mattress Wink maybe the shoes, depending on state and your child's development (if your child has any issues with gait, feet placement, spine, wtv....)

Caspianberg · 02/03/2022 12:18

Of course not

The only things not to buy secondhand are car seats and mattresses. Although car seat I would use secondhand from close family/ friend as they wouldn’t pass on if it had been in any kind of accident.

Secondhand tots bots nappies if you can get are the bees knees. We bought new, and honestly after almost 2 years use they are all white still, the velcros good, etc. As long as someone has washed properly, they are fine.

Picklequeen88 · 02/03/2022 12:18

There's so many things you can get second hand now that haven't even been used! So many clothes on Facebook market place that babies havnt even worn because the parents didn't even got to put them on before they already grew out off them, and toys that havnt even been touched because the kids didn't even play with them! I'd rather buy something second hand at a fraction on the price then forking out be because it's new! Just snobbery on her part, I'd ignore her

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 02/03/2022 12:20

Everyone I know with kids is involved somewhere in the second hand kids market, as a user, buyer, recipient or seller. No one buys new then just throws it out!

Providing your children with love, warmth, food and attention is what makes good parents. Not brand new designer items.

Geranium1984 · 02/03/2022 12:23

FGS what an entitled woman. I wouldn't bother discussing anything with her. I have an 18mo and although we could have afforded it, I bought quite a few things second hand off FB market place like baby bath, next to me crib, breastfeeding pillow, baby monitor, travel buggy. The cost of buying it all new was staggering, I probably got all the equipment for the price of one of the expensive items bought new.

I also have a lot of friends who've had babies and they gave us toys, SIL's old cot (we purchased new matress), a sling/carrier lots of clothing and books. Now my boy is older I've lent out some of the toys etc to a friend in my street as she will only use them for a few months so saves her buying and saves me storage!

Quite a few things we've used lots but others I'm glad we bought second hand/gifted as some things, like breastfeeding pillow, I barely used.

A close friend of mine recently had a baby and her sister and sister in law who've both got 2 kids and done with babies gave her everything she needed! I don't think she's had to buy much at all.

Movingsoon21 · 02/03/2022 12:23

We are relatively well off and I am only buying second hand for my first baby due in a couple of weeks. I just couldn’t justify the expense of new when most things get such little use.

Your SIL is an idiot and your DH needs to grow a backbone and back you up. Agree that you shouldn’t discuss any decisions with her going forward.

AwkwardPaws27 · 02/03/2022 12:24

Anything can be secondhand except car seats and cot mattresses, you are fine!

I got a beautiful oak cot bed for £30 on Facebook Marketplace, & an all singing all dancing Joie bouncer. We ended up buying a travel system new as the one we really liked was 50% off in the sale, but were open to buying that secondhand too.

I'm planning on secondhand cloth nappies, but I'm going to hire a newborn set from a nappy library (so they'll have been used by loads of other babies!) for the first month or so, so we can work out what type works for us before we buy our own.
Our nearest one charges £55 for two months hire of a big set of different types, suitable for newborns.

Feetupteashot · 02/03/2022 12:26

2nd hand is awesome and the planet and your children will thank you Flowers

FloBot7 · 02/03/2022 12:27

The only things I didn't have secondhand were gifts from friends and family. Mostly the newborn clothes which I desperately needed anyway as DD was born 7 weeks early. Everything I bought myself was secondhand. Baby clothes bought as job lots are brilliant during their first year when they grow so quickly. There were a couple of occasions when It was easier/cleaner to cut DD out of her baby grow after an exploding poo. Reusable nappies weren't so readily available back then but my cousin has recently signed up to a nappy library so she can figure out which ones fit best before buying secondhand.

readsalotgirl63 · 02/03/2022 12:27

Agree - second hand makes so much sense from an economic and environmental point of view. I had some lovely second hand items from colleagues and found it quite special knowing these things had been used by a happy child.

Ignore your SIL and enjoy your pregnancy and your baby.

Duracellbunnywannabe · 02/03/2022 12:28

Spend as little time as possible with her. Second hand is great be wary of things from a home with smoke, no second hand cot mattresses and second hand car seats only from people you completely trust.

readsalotgirl63 · 02/03/2022 12:29

Also bought a great cot second hand. DD is now in her early 20s and we have kept it so she can have it ( if she ever decides to have a family) - I really like the thought that if she does ever have a baby we can say " this was your mums)

AIHippy · 02/03/2022 12:32

If she wants to be a snob then whatever! You're absolutely not a bad Mum OP.

I bought my son an outfit at a car boot sale for 50p the other week and he looks cute as hell in it ☺️

viques · 02/03/2022 12:33

By buying and using second hand you are helping to keep your new baby’s world a cleaner more sustainable place. Your baby - and your SILs baby - have to live in the world for the next 80, 90 or even more years. They have to breathe the air, drink the water, eat food grown in the earth and caught in the oceans.

Who is the good parent? The one wasting the worlds resources by buying new and then probably sending masses of real and material crap to landfill to rot for the next thousand years, destroying the water table and sending plastic particles into the eco system, or the one helping to preserve resources, reduce landfill, respect the environment and limit their child’s carbon footprint.

Your SIL is selfish and stupid. Try to ignore her.

AliceW89 · 02/03/2022 12:34

Second hand cloth nappies are brilliant. A good half of our stash are second hand Smile there is a great website called clean cloth nappies that talk you though how to make sure they are fully clean when not bought new. You won’t regret your decision. She’s being an idiot - the desire for a continuous stream of ‘new stuff’ is destroying the planet.

RedWingBoots · 02/03/2022 12:36

Just snobbery on her part, I'd ignore her

No stupidity.

Why pay more money for something that you can get for less or even free? Makes no financial sense and as you said OP it is not environmentally friendly.

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