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Original poster

Second hand for baby

150 replies

Purplerain1144 · 02/03/2022 12:09

So back story... 12w pregnant with first baby. I will only get SMP so trying to save money where possible. Husbands sister has a 6 month old. She has already criticised for the order we told family and friends our news and made me upset (she is very opinionated). Discussing last night about cloth nappies and I have said I'm going to buy 2nd hand cloth nappies to save money in long run and for the sustainability aspect too. She has said she can't believe I am going to buy 2nd hand, she would never buy anything second hand for her baby etc etc. Basically made me feel like an awful mum before I've even started! Husband just sat there and didn't back me up, so I've now said I'm not going to discuss any decisions with her now as it just makes me upset. Thoughts??

OP posts:
Heyahun · 02/03/2022 13:22

Jeez she is horrible!! We could have afforded new stuff and there is barely anything new that we actually got other than a new cot mattress!

It is super wasteful to get all new stuff!! I have no issues with second hand nappies either - they can be washed!!

welshladywhois40 · 02/03/2022 13:25

I can afford not to buy second hand but choose to reduce landfill.

Plus I love bargains - also babies barely get wear out of clothes and toys so why buy new when we can reuse.

That way you can spend your money where you want to on going out and enjoying doing things with your children not on pricy clothes they barely wear

Jjjayfee · 02/03/2022 13:29

You are saving the planet for your baby!

solbunny · 02/03/2022 13:30

Your SIL is a weirdo. The majority of my baby's stuff is second hand, I don't know many mums who haven't bought at least some second hand bits! Off the top of my head, the only things I'd avoid second-hand are car seats and mattresses.

SC215 · 02/03/2022 13:33

I think the only things you're meant not to get second hand are car seats and mattresses, think it's in case the car seat has been in an accident and they don't tell you, not sure about the mattress. No point in buying new baby clothes. She sounds like a right snob!

elbea · 02/03/2022 13:34

I help to run a second hand clothes Exchange where people can come and get children’s clothes (and nappies) for free. It is mostly middle class mums that come in their very expensive cars. We advertise free bundles of clothes at SureStart centres and we deliver, can’t get people to take them.

We get most of our stuff second hand, nappies included, I’d hate to contribute to waste when I don’t have to.

Quichetiger · 02/03/2022 13:35

I bought everything new for my pfb and wish I hadn’t. You don’t need new things for a tiny baby, they don’t care! And you get through so much stuff it’s better to use it for the time you need it then pass it on

Kaleidoscope2 · 02/03/2022 13:38

I brought lots for my baby second hand, all decent pretty much new condition to very good condition for various financial and environmental reasons Inc cloth nappies. My daughter is now 18 months old and I don't feel I did her any disservice in doing things the way I did. If more people brought second hand generally there were be less in landfill etc. Don't second guess yourself, and honestly your sil sounds ridiculous.

BabyFeb22 · 02/03/2022 13:39

The only things we haven't bought second hand for our first baby is the pram/car seat and then bought mattresses for Moses basket and cot. Any clothes we've bought have either been in the sales or from charity shops. Believe me the amount of stuff you'll get bought as well you may as well buy second hand. Our little one was born quite small so have needed to buy tiny baby stuff- even then we've only bought one 5 pack of sleepsuits ourselves as family have all gone out and picked stuff up.
My in-laws are very 'buy all brand new' but for the amount of time it will get worn I really don't see why we should be spending that sort of money when I'll only be giving it away when it doesn't fit anyway. If others wants your little one in brand new they will buy it. Do what's best for you! X

CommonPrimrose · 02/03/2022 13:39

My thought is she was being rude and is silly if she can't contemplate buying second hand.

Madmaxxy · 02/03/2022 13:43

Second hand baby clothes are brilliant - 90% of them have only been worn a couple of times because of people like your SIL who will spend £20 on an outfit for the baby to grow out of in two weeks. Just ignore OP (and p.s. the Vinted app is amazing for baby clothes!)

AxolotlEars · 02/03/2022 13:47

I love second hand its such a great way to not overspend while getting what you need. I have been a mum for 23 years and never regretted a second hand buy for anyone. I would rather save my money for a holiday etc than spend it on an item the child will wear for such a short period of time. It doesn't mean you have to compromise on putting a baby in what you like. NCT sales are a great way to buy large expensive items at a good price.

Whoopsies · 02/03/2022 13:51

My children have always had loads of second hand things. In fact my 2nd is 2.5 and I have just ordered him the first clothes I've ever had to buy him thanks to all the hand me downs! It's amazing!

AppleTree16 · 02/03/2022 13:54

She’s be horrified in this house, we’ve got everything second hand apart from the mattress and car seat. Just tell her to shut up and enjoy your pregnancy :)

Zezet · 02/03/2022 13:55

Well, she's a rude idiot. And it has nothing to do with money necessarily either. We could have afforded things new if we wanted to. Doesn't mean the planet can afford everyone insisting on new all the time when there are TONS of perfectly nice second hand things out there.

Breathe and ignore.

SweatyPie · 02/03/2022 13:56

Second hand is brilliant. We're doomed as a species if ever is as entitled as she is. This is one area everyone can afford to do their bit in for the environment. Babies do not need brand new clothes.

SatinHeart · 02/03/2022 13:56

She has said she can't believe I am going to buy 2nd hand, she would never buy anything second hand for her baby etc etc

As pp have said it's not only rude to say that but also a silly rule to have. There's loads of fab second hand baby stuff around, much of it barely used.

Where i am it's very much the poorer mums from working class backgrounds who care about brand new shiny things

There does seem to be an element of this in my area too.

FTEngineerM · 02/03/2022 13:57

Ah a true capitalist
Ignore the fuck out of everything the says.

GrendelsGrandma · 02/03/2022 13:58

I buy everything second hand. Better for the environment and doesn't matter when they shit all over it, which is definitely the case with nappies!

Second hand is not for her, whatever - let her spend more money than she needs to, it doesn't really benefit the baby.

Sleepyquest · 02/03/2022 14:00

I barely bought anything secondhand for baby 1 and wish I had! I was being too precious. Nearly everything for baby 2 is a hand me down or secondhand.

Don't tell her anything anymore and buy what you like for your baby Smile

OakPine · 02/03/2022 14:00

Congratulations and best wishes for you and your baby!

You can learn how to deal with horrible people like this. Have fun! With a smile on your face say
"The thing is you get so much more for your money second hand. The problem with new is that unless you buy top designers, anything new is just cheap tat!"

Watch and laugh as her child begins to be dressed in labelled "designer" rubbish.

Tiredly · 02/03/2022 14:04

Ignore her and don't tell her in future.
I bought all new for first baby and second got plenty of hand me downs..this time there's a massive gap between second and third baby and I had already got rid of lots of stuff so bought second hand from different places , does anyone know or care ? Nope! It only gets used a handful of times before they move onto the next thing so who the hell cares plus baby doesn't know do they.
If I'd bought a baby gym new for example, it would get used for a few months only before it's no use to a crawling to walking baby and who would've known? The inly new things I bought were car seats and baby monitor as I wanted a warranty on it and to make sure it fully worked as intended

yikesanotherbooboo · 02/03/2022 14:09

You are the one thinking of your child and their future in a world with diminishing resources. I always like second hand ( or third,fourth or fifth) I like to think about who else has used or touched items it makes me feel connected.Din't forget that if this wasn't your first child most things would be second hand .

Waddlegoose · 02/03/2022 14:10

Loads of Facebook sites selling second hand nappies, definitely look them up 🙂

paintfairy · 02/03/2022 14:11

We are not that poor we have to buy everything 2nd hand, but anything I can do, I am. To me it makes zero sense to waste money on new things that won't be used for long, when you can get some really good stuff second hand. People wouldn't even know if I didn't tell them. She's a snob.