Second hand for baby

[Purplerain1144]

So back story... 12w pregnant with first baby. I will only get SMP so trying to save money where possible. Husbands sister has a 6 month old. She has already criticised for the order we told family and friends our news and made me upset (she is very opinionated). Discussing last night about cloth nappies and I have said I'm going to buy 2nd hand cloth nappies to save money in long run and for the sustainability aspect too. She has said she can't believe I am going to buy 2nd hand, she would never buy anything second hand for her baby etc etc. Basically made me feel like an awful mum before I've even started! Husband just sat there and didn't back me up, so I've now said I'm not going to discuss any decisions with her now as it just makes me upset. Thoughts??

I don't think you can necessarily compare second-hand knickers and sanitary pads but yes I would wear/use these without complaint if necessary.

Worth pointing out too that cloth nappies are generally worn with a fleece/paper liner and the actual surface of the nappy doesn't touch the baby's skin a lot.

I probably bought 80% new with my first and I regret it. I know try to buy as close to 0% new as possible.

I used cloth nappies. I bought new but will pass my stash on. It’s not disgusting to re-use but you might need to strip wash first.

I wouldn’t have an issue. I’d wash thoroughly before use.

We’ve been given bags of clothes from friends with slightly older kids and they have contained underwear before - pants and socks and it didn’t occur to me not to use. Should it have?!

@thewhatsit

I wouldn’t have an issue. I’d wash thoroughly before use.

We’ve been given bags of clothes from friends with slightly older kids and they have contained underwear before - pants and socks and it didn’t occur to me not to use. Should it have?!

Sorry, that was supposed to be in reply to @Staryflight445 about whether I’d re-use underwear or sanitary products and yes I’d have second hand pants for my kids.

Honestly they grow out of everything that quickly there's no point in buying brand new. I'm so glad we never spent over 1k on a pram and got one for £200 second hand instead because by 15 months DD wouldn't sit in it anyway. Do what you want to do and don't discuss it with anyone else, it's none of their business.

I just find it odd that some parents wouldn’t dream of wearing used intimate products like underwear/ other reusable intimate items but it’s fair game when it comes to their kids.

I think second hand items are absolutely amazing but intimate items are a step too far for me personally. Especially when people are expecting others to pay for them. You wouldn’t give people in need your used clean knickers would you?
Underwear should be refreshed with new often for a reason.

SIL is a dick, ignore her entirely. Second hand makes sense with babies, they grow so quickly. Cloth nappies are great too so good choice.

@Staryflight445

I just find it odd that some parents wouldn’t dream of wearing used intimate products like underwear/ other reusable intimate items but it’s fair game when it comes to their kids.

I think second hand items are absolutely amazing but intimate items are a step too far for me personally. Especially when people are expecting others to pay for them. You wouldn’t give people in need your used clean knickers would you?
Underwear should be refreshed with new often for a reason.

I suppose the difference is mainly that children grow out of underwear quickly? I have plenty of pants that are 10 + years old so it would be weird for me to pass them on. No child is going to wear anything for nearly that long. If I had a friend that had period pants or normal pants that hadn’t been worn for more than a few months, yes I would wear them. I’m used to cloth nappies so I’d give any period pants a cloth happy style wash - ie a quick pre wash and then a long, hot wash and then I would be absolutely fine to wear.

I bought second hand reusable nappies - I can understand the reluctance some people have because I had it too initially, but I think it's a societal squemishness not based on any logic.
I was picky about buying in good condition - often found nappies that had barely been worn - and washed them thoroughly before using for the first time.

@Staryflight445

I just find it odd that some parents wouldn’t dream of wearing used intimate products like underwear/ other reusable intimate items but it’s fair game when it comes to their kids.

I think second hand items are absolutely amazing but intimate items are a step too far for me personally. Especially when people are expecting others to pay for them. You wouldn’t give people in need your used clean knickers would you?
Underwear should be refreshed with new often for a reason.

1. Can't you change the inner part of you want? Unlike normal underwear, so not icky.
2. All baby clothes touch yucky fluids from wee to poo and spit up
3. Adults don't change their entire wardrobe every 3 months. If I buy underwear I use them for years then can be recycled after a hot wash. Carbon footprint is much lower.

She's a bitch. Tell her to fuck off next time. With her own 6mnth, at the rate babies/children grow, she will soon learn that second hand anything is a godsend!

And even used underwear- nothing is actually going to happen. It's the ick factor, that's it, they won't catch anything.

I would feed my kids sausage rolls but not eat it myself because the dead rat looking thing inside is gross. But I know rationally there's nothing wrong with it.

Oh she is being a snob. Ignore her!

I'm pretty sure the only thing you need to buy new is car seat and mattress (cot and crib fine 2nd hand) just replace the mattress.

Whilst I haven't bought my baby's anything secondhand they've all worn each others hand me downs. I've reused blankets and sleeping bags, clothes etc. There is nothing wrong with what you are proposing but if you don't want to get into it with her don't share. Just be noncommittal when she asks a question. Say you don't know or aren't sure yet, will see when the time comes. She's entitled to her opinion of course but she doesn't get to judge you or make you feel shit. Nip that in the bud. I'd also limit the amount of time you spend with her as she sounds like one of those that will constantly be comparing her baby to yours.

Ignore her.

We had secondhand everything for our 4 children (crib, pram, cots, clothes, toys, clothes, bikes, beds, obviously the younger ones had the same stuff third fourth and fifth hand) and when they'd finished with it all, everything still useable was handed on to other families.

All our kids had folded and pinned square cotton nappies; the first 2 DC were 11 months apart, obviously sharing the same nappies and needed lots so when we had the 2nd, my sister sent me all her child's old nappies. Nappies were worn with a disposable liner to catch some or most poo; the liner and poo went down the loo. Nappies, and liners that were only wet, went into a lidded bucket of liquid nappy steriliser. Once a day I decanted the nappies from the bucket into the washing machine and put them through a cool wash with no detergent and no softener. They came out spotless white and were either line or tumble dried. Liners that were only peed in, were used sterilised dried and reused until they got pooed in and chucked.. Our kids very rarely had nappy rash ( a few exceptions while teething) and never had stomach upsets. Nobody died, and they were all toilet trained around their 2nd birthday.

💜💜💜Just something for anyone who is interested in buying reusable nappies a lot of councils give you money (you don’t normally have to be on any benefits either) towards buying them new ones that is. My council gives £100 towards them 💜💜💜

@Starbeach

💜💜💜Just something for anyone who is interested in buying reusable nappies a lot of councils give you money (you don’t normally have to be on any benefits either) towards buying them new ones that is. My council gives £100 towards them 💜💜💜

That's amazing! Ours gives two free birth-to-potty nappies, plus some liners. We don't have a nappy library but luckily the one a couple of boroughs over serves our area too (I'm in LB of Havering, and we can use the Waltham Forest nappy library).

OP, I bought pretty much everything new for my baby and although buying cute things gives me pleasure, it is objectively a waste of money. He only wore some things twice.

Buying secondhand is the sensible thing to do and your SIL needs to butt out.

My kids are teens, we used second/third/fourth hand everything (even car seat as knew the source but not mattresses). The nappies were used by about 12 kids and counting. The things that have enriched my kids lives include holidays, sport clubs, music lessons, day trips. Things that have made fuck all difference having an old pram/buggy/clothes/cot etc. Let your Sil crack on and waste her cash and save yours for the good stuff.

Things that have made fuck all difference having an old pram/buggy/clothes/cot etc.
We spent £1k on a pram. Neither of my DC took to the pram and I spent most of the time with them in the sling. Despite this I didn’t think it was a waste of money because I was forever told “Bugaboo/ iCandy etc hold their value”. Well guess what.. they don’t. Our pram is worth about £80.
I have done so many things I think have been to the benefit of my children and I could go on and on about. The pram… not so much.

They didn’t spend much time in the NextToMe crib either as it happens or the stupid Sleepyhead.

Please don't worry, she's just being mean.
I'm a savvy second hand shopper and my kids used to look so sweet in their second hand Boden and Joules.

I also bought second hand nappies - in fact you sometimes get people who sell them on and have only had them to try. They wash amazingly! I even sold them on in still brilliant condition.

Just laugh and say oh I'm happy to save my money for special things like days out. Then have some lovely adventures with your LO.

Regardless of finances, it's a good idea to try and buy quite a lot second hand vs new from an eco aspect.

Such a shallow attitude from your dsil

2nd makes much more sense. They are in everything for such a short time

I gave my bamboo cloth nappies away when finished and they were in perfect condition. Ridiculous to just bin them. Tell sil you’re concerned about the environment and the future of the world for your dc. Or just tell her to fuck off. Either works.