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Original poster

Second hand for baby

150 replies

Purplerain1144 · 02/03/2022 12:09

So back story... 12w pregnant with first baby. I will only get SMP so trying to save money where possible. Husbands sister has a 6 month old. She has already criticised for the order we told family and friends our news and made me upset (she is very opinionated). Discussing last night about cloth nappies and I have said I'm going to buy 2nd hand cloth nappies to save money in long run and for the sustainability aspect too. She has said she can't believe I am going to buy 2nd hand, she would never buy anything second hand for her baby etc etc. Basically made me feel like an awful mum before I've even started! Husband just sat there and didn't back me up, so I've now said I'm not going to discuss any decisions with her now as it just makes me upset. Thoughts??

OP posts:
MoorGirl · 02/03/2022 14:15

Second hand is a great idea, you can get some real bargains on hardly worn clothes as they grow out of them so quickly. Prams are much cheaper too.

BrownOrange · 02/03/2022 14:18

She sounds like an idiot. I would ignore her opinions.

Babies use things for such a short time getting secondhand makes sense.

With my first baby I had a mix of stuff. I'm expecting baby number 2 and plan to reuse what I already have and anything else I will buy secondhand. It's not about not being able to afford new- it is unnecessary expenditure and also better for the environment to reuse.

If I do end up buying new things will probably be because I'm exhausted and it's more convenient to pop into Sainsbury's/Ikea wherever than trawl marketplace or Ebay...or impulse buying...

Mischance · 02/03/2022 14:18

No need to discuss with her or anyone else - nothing to do with them.

My first had 2nd (?3rd, 4th, 5th) hand everything; and these things then got handed on to the next two babies that arrived - so goodness knows how many-hand they were by the end!

Makes perfect sense.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 02/03/2022 14:18

I can afford it, but bought loads of stuff second hand (other than mattress and car seats). Most things you can wash or wipe extremely well.

Now they are older I still get toys, bike, dressing up clothes etc on facebook market place then sell them on after.

My thoughts are -
Its environmentally friendly
It's no one elses business
I'm pretty sure when my kids are older they will prefer to have the cash I've saved them over the years, to spend on days out / holidays / towards a house deposit or even blown on some designer trainers or whatever, rather than not have these things and know they had a brand new jumperoo for £120 or whatever

I think you need to grow a thicker skin when it comes to her, grey rock her (she might find out you're using cloth nappies but she doesnt need to know you're buying them second hand) and practice some stock phrases like 'well everyone parents differently, it would be boring if we were all the same...anyway...' or deflecting 'oh I'm not sure yet, we're looking into it' etc

Starbeach · 02/03/2022 14:20

Only thing I haven’t bought second hand is my car seat everything else is either second hand but I did have a really good deal on an ex display half price pram when I was looking for a second hand pram. Don’t listen to your SIL as long as it’s clean then who cares baby has no idea.

Can I ask what cloth nappies you have gone for as I’m looking at the mo and I’m confused 😂

Mommabear20 · 02/03/2022 14:22

Everything but our DCs cots, mattresses and bedding was second hand

AthenaPopodopolous · 02/03/2022 14:23

I think things like cots or equipment is fine second hand but I’m not sure about second hand nappies. Or clothes to be honest. The amount of sick and stains... I’d just buy mew and keep your own stuff to pas down to anymore children you have. Things like jackets and coats or shoes are fine second hand though. I think I’d always buy nice 100% cotton vests and sleep suits manly for 0-3 months at least.

Coyoacan · 02/03/2022 14:23

Nearly every baby in the history of the world has worn second hand.

PinkSyCo · 02/03/2022 14:24

More fool her if she would never buy second hand with the speed that babies grow! I’ve given unworn baby clothes to charity shops many times. Ignore your SIL and know that your’e doing right by your child by helping to look after the planet she resides on.

PinkSyCo · 02/03/2022 14:25

‘They’ not ‘she’.

Kite22 · 02/03/2022 14:25

Accepting things people give you for your baby is a very, very good choice.
Buying things second hand is a very wise choice
Accepting things people are giving away on local sites is a very wise choice.
Not discussing things with your SiL also sounds like a wise choice, but probably will be difficult for the next 20 years, so think of some answers now.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 02/03/2022 14:25

I kitted out my DS3 almost entirely in second hand clothes and equipment.
It's so much easier now with FB marketplace/eBay nowadays( he's 21)
The only things I bought brand new were mattresses for cot and basket and car seat for safety
No one needs to know, or will even notice plus obviously great for the environment

mdh2020 · 02/03/2022 14:28

I had almost everything second hand - pram, buggy, cot. I made cot sheets by cutting up old sheets. I welcomed all hand me downs and bought lots of baby clothes in charity shops and the local used clothing sale. Bought lots of toys that could be washed from charity shops too. Children cost a lot of money - save your money for when they are older.

TonTonMacoute · 02/03/2022 14:30

I would say that 90% of baby stuff we got for DS was second hand, and most of it was then passed on to other families.

They only use these things for a few months sometimes, it is incredibly wasteful to buy everything new, whether you can afford it or not.

RockinHorseShit · 02/03/2022 14:31

"SIL, I'm surprised at that. What a shame that you disregard the future of the planet & therefore your DCs future too, in favour of being showy, that isn't my idea of good parenting, but we'll have to agree to disagree. Enjoy your day"

She's an ignorant bitch

SallyWD · 02/03/2022 14:35

We had loads of second hand stuff for our babies. It's so much better for the environment and your wallet. It's madness to spend a fortune on new stuff which you'll only use for a few months. Just ignore her and never tell her your plans again.

Staryflight445 · 02/03/2022 14:37

I mean, if her comments were based on second hand reusable nappies, I kinda agree that’s a bit too far for most people.
You wouldn’t buy older child second hand underwear would you, or yourself secondhand knickers.

But everything else, fair game.

MotherOfCrocodiles · 02/03/2022 14:42

If doing cloth nappies you should absolutely get second hand as otherwise the embedded carbon almost cancels out the benefit compared to disposables

Hugasauras · 02/03/2022 14:44

She's a prick.

I bought all new for DD and honestly some of it was such a waste. Luckily I'm having another DD in June so can reuse it, but some stuff still has tags on or barely got used. This time I'm bloody looking forward to use second hand stuff!

Bear2014 · 02/03/2022 14:45

I find that to be such a strange attitude. We live in a pretty affluent area of London and everyone still seems to embrace buying second hand and hand-me-downs for babies and children. It's an environmental disaster to buy everything new for every baby. We have always bought mostly second-hand clothes for our DC, who are now 8 and 4. Some of the bargains I've got on ebay, Facebook etc are great especially when buying in bundles. Also amazing bargains on furniture etc.

On the cloth nappy front, we did exactly this and bought mostly second-hand. We then re-sold it all down the line for not much less than what we bought it for. The whole point is that they are washed and they are clean! Does your SIL think you are buying dirtly nappies?! She sounds a bit odd.

Hugasauras · 02/03/2022 14:45

Oh and yes the secondhand cloth nappy market is massively popular! We will sell ours once we are done with them with DD2.

tiggergoesbounce · 02/03/2022 14:50

Absolutely dont discuss anything with her further!! She sounds like she may try to find fault with anything.

You will probably get to the point about 6 months down the line of just telling her straight, especially if she interferes after baby is here !!

Of course there is nothing wrong with second hand, it is so much better for the environment, we bought second hand things for our DS, it just makes sense to.

anonymoooose · 02/03/2022 14:50

Unless your SIL is going to buy your child all their clothes forever she needs to shut her mouth. None of her business whatsoever. Please don't feel bad. You are already a great mum who provides for her child.

Some people make my blood boil!

NB - congratulations on your pregnancy!! 🎉🎉🎉❤️❤️❤️

Staryflight445 · 02/03/2022 14:56

‘ The whole point is that they are washed and they are clean!’

So you’d be happy to wear second hand knickers/ use second hand reusable sanitary pads then?

DoraDont · 02/03/2022 15:15

I bought almost everything second hand for my dd when she was born.Your baby won't care, just ignore your sister-in-law, she sounds daft.

The only exceptions were the cot mattress, and a car seat. Pushchair, snuzpod and cot, baby bjorn bouncer, clothes, highchair, toys, all ssecondhand/preloved. Had I used reusable nappies, I would certainly have kept an eye out for bundles on ebay/nct sales.

I then sold on the baby stuff, and bought next stage stuff second hand. Every bike DD has had so far has been an Islabike from eBay at a fraction of the cost for new.

I do buy new clothes and toys for her now she's school age, but I still love a good eBay bargain.