Was I wrong to send him in like this?

[Longcovid21]

Reality check needed.
Ds 10 had massive holes in his trainers which appeared out of nowhere. A few days ago I saw a sale on the vans website and so took the opportunity to buy him some nice new shoes. They look like this.
www.schuh.co.uk/kids/junior-vans-old-skool-metallic-flame-black-and-silver-trainers/2662457850/

He hates them. He says they are too showy and was crying that he wanted to wear the trainers with holes in instead. Usually I let him choose his own shoes but on this occasion I just spotted a bargain.

Was I being unreasonable to basically make him wear the shoes and tell him that if he wore shoes with holes in school may contact social services for neglect (I was feeling desperate).

He was in tears. It was stressful all around.
I need a reality check about whether I was BU to push it? Normally he has his own way but I just couldn't send him in in bad holey shoes.

They're fugly and at my school you'd get the shit kicked out of you for wearing thos

Lovely school you must go to 🤔.
Having the shit kicked out of anyone is not something that would happen in my sons primary thankfully. Especially over a pair of shoes.

I think at the age of ten he should have some say in what trainers he wears so YABU, also they are pretty showy, I think plain is more fashionable with kids at the moment? Also they are not really ‘trainers’ and not really suitable for school.

I really would have gone with the old shoes for one more day, because then you could have returned the ones he was embarrassed to wear. As you say, all the boys play football at break time so they'll all get a bit tatty.

Not sure why this pair of Vans is the only option standing against Sports Direct though. Don't go there then, but you know it doesn't have to literally be that store. Pp just means get along to somewhere convenient and affordable, no problem with that.

@Longcovid21

Holes don't appear overnight No they appeared one day.

They weren't £37 BTW that's not the sale price.

I guess I will be forced to get some shitty sweat shop trainers from sports direct then. Gosh you lot are conservative 😊. But point taken. No one likes them.

I'm not at all conservative. But unless they'd specifically asked for these particular trainers I very much doubt that my dcs (or indeed my very 'unconservative' dgds) would have wanted them. As for school shoes, they wouldn't get through the gates wearing them. But then perhaps state schools are less 'conservative' round your way? So yes, on this occasion you've made the wrong call. Still, worse things are happening in the world right now.

Look, he's not going to get bullied like some are saying. They are Vans, hardly Dunlop status megacringe brand!

My point is that they aren't school shoes, and they aren't trainers, either. They're a skate shoe for casual wear.

I think the worst thing you did was send your child off to school feeling humiliated. I think it was cruel what you did to him.

@cherrysthename I think he's highly likely to have comments about ridiculous looking trainers with silver stripes when he's meant to be in plain black ones. It has clearly happened already otherwise he wouldn't be upset about having to wear them.

If he has only one pair of shoes then even more the reason to pick the ones he likes/ you both agree on. Most schools wouldn’t accept these, is it a school with no uniform?

I agree @rookiemere but what I meant is he's not going to get bullied because they're 'ugly' or the 'wrong' brand to be seen in.

@Longcovid21

They're fugly and at my school you'd get the shit kicked out of you for wearing thos

Lovely school you must go to 🤔.
Having the shit kicked out of anyone is not something that would happen in my sons primary thankfully. Especially over a pair of shoes.

But he thinks it’s bad enough he cried and you bullied and threatened him with social services to make him comply.

It’s not ok op. We all understand when money is tight. But he’s a person and he’s a right to his feelings.

One of my 4 children attends a school with no uniform and they encourage them to wear trainers.

It's a brilliant school.

Well I think they're pretty ugly @cherrysthename .

He had no choice but to wear them or go barefoot really - his old trainers were no good. Or you could have asked the school if they had spares/lost property that could have been borrowed for a day or two whilst you got him new (plain) shoes.
It could have been handled a lot better.

Jeez, @Longcovid21
Surely you would have taken him to choose trainers, and to check for fit &c?
At school, I was mercilessly teased for shoes that my mother made me wear, {Clarks} and I still wince at the memory.

I don't blame your son at all.
Those shoes are too ''Loud''..

{How did the old ones get ten holes in so suddenly?}

I quite like them as a fashion item, but I can see why a 10 year old boy would hate them and no way are they school shoes/trainers. If he only has one pair, better to have something neural he can wear with everything including his school clothes.

@Longcovid21

They're fugly and at my school you'd get the shit kicked out of you for wearing thos

Lovely school you must go to 🤔.
Having the shit kicked out of anyone is not something that would happen in my sons primary thankfully. Especially over a pair of shoes.

Yes I did go to a rough school and quite frankly your condescending tone says more about you than my upbringing op.

Kids can be very mean to one another.

You asked if you were out of line, have repeatedly been told yes, and are getting defensive. What's the point in posting ?

My dad insisted I had sensible shoes. My feet were beyond an H fitting at Clarks so I had years of thr fugliest double T bar monstrosities of school shoes. I used to try and hide them!
I was thankful when I was allowed full control via an allowance. I would have been Yr6.
Was he right? I don't know tbh but I understand why as girls shoes were definitely designed for the dainty foot and he didn't want me to damage mine

You are being unreasonable. They are bot school shoes.

They're not a bargain when you could have found more appropriate shoes for school at that price range.
At 10, he should be choosing his own clothes and shoes (within reason ie, pricing and appropriateness for wear). They also are not school shoes.

@Longcovid21

Holes don't appear overnight No they appeared one day.

They weren't £37 BTW that's not the sale price.

I guess I will be forced to get some shitty sweat shop trainers from sports direct then. Gosh you lot are conservative 😊. But point taken. No one likes them.

And Vans aren’t sweatshop trainers? directory.goodonyou.eco/brand/vans

Not heard ‘conservative’ used as an insult since sixth form, but OK. 😊

Oh my word. Greased Lightning shoes.

Poor kid.

I'm not conservative.
I would never send my child to school crying over a pair of shoes.
No school I know would allow these.

Did you really use social services to persuade him to wear them?

Guys we don't live in England (we're in a devolved nation) schools uniform policies are not strict. Trainers are fully allowed. He won't wear leather school shoes.

It’s a waste a money as you can’t return them now. They are awful. His comments sound very mature. Not sure if school uniform policy allows trainers or school turn blind eye but plain black is surely way to go. I’d go with supermarket own plain over those.