To feel fed up of being poor.

[laptopba]

Just that really. Feeling rubbish about how my life has turned out in relation to finances. Its bloody shit.

All I got is to the suggestion to open that credit card statement, bank statement, the one you haven't opened for a year, and have a look. Put sunglasses on and have a glass of wine if needed. Quite likely there is something on there you didn't sign up for. Did it last week. Thought I was OK as slowly paying off credit card. Oh my word. Nearly £500 of unauthorised payments. Please do it, needy vipers. Hard but doable eh, rip off the plaster. Stop it getting worse as you can at least cancel where necessary and at least you know where you are.

Well BatmanCat people in England have been manipulated and coerced into a state of bovine stupidity. Most of them don't know whether they're coming or going. We have no socialist movement or community for people. We have the Daily Mail and The Sun to thank for that! Not to mention the Tories of course. I read a report by Gordon Brown today and he said that we are beginning to reach 18th century levels of poverty. There are kids eating cold food because their parents can't afford to put the CH on. They are reading by torchlight because they can't put money in the meter. They are sharing one blanket in the freezing cold. This isn't on the news! But I think someting pretty bad will happen, when people get hungry and their kids are hungry we are going to see violence on the streets.

@Firefliess

You can earn more or spend less later in life when they're independent.

That's not always the case.

My kids are now grown adults and flown the nest, I'm on my own, disabled and unable to work, so I'm not in a position to earn more, as for spending less, I'd love to be able to spend less and save some cash but with inflation, and all prices constantly going up and up and up, its difficult to afford to switch the lights on now, never mind the heating or being able to eat

Yes it is grinding. People who have not been there don't realise.

@laptopba Honestly I come from severe poverty grew up in hostels in some dire areas, it’s took me a while but I’ve ended up better then some people I was at school with who had better situations.

This is how I did it, have a goal to work towards it will help with resilience. Look for other jobs whilst your in one, and take a leap of faith I used to apply for jobs that I hit every point on the person spec for but then I had the shock that you don’t have to hit everything, start taking chances you may get knocked down and fed up but remember that goal allow yourself to have down days it’s ok! Don’t be self critical and start recognising your self worth.

Maybe look at furthering your education. I thought this was out of reach for me I left school with no gcse! But there are lots of grant schemes out there. I went to uni as an adult, I used the student Loan to top up my wages too. People often get worried about having a student loan but honestly it’s not as bad as it’s seems you don’t py back until you earn over £25000 after graduating and then it only a small percentage can be as low as £30 a month. The less you earn the more you get. You also get a reduction on council tax if your full time. I also got in on merit not by having A level they do that for mature students so don’t worry about that.

This may help get better job.

@LoisLane66

I, for one, could manage fine on 1500 pm and not just buy the basics or shop own brand at Lidl/Morrisons etc (never been in either shop anyway as none near me) I live well on a basic pension.

£325 disposable income per week is not a basic pension.

It's all very well people saying if you set a goal etc...

Absolutely tone deaf.

Unless and until you've been disabled or in chronic ill health you can't possibly understand the poverty trap. For some the goal would be a day without pain.

Basic state pension is now £139 if that’s your only income and no private provision they top it up to £179 so £769 month.

I arrived in UK as a refugee at 21, only £20 in my pocket. I worked evenings in restaurants and bars and enrolled myself on a basic Accounting GCSE evening course at my local college. Liked it and went on to quality as a chartered accountant. Took a long time and paid for it from my bar work initially and then by getting a very junior job in a finance team but they were paying for the qualifications. This was before children though. When DS was born I took 6 months off and returned to work and continued to progress. I only have one child though. I have sent him to private school single handed (I earn double than DH) but not on a massive salary and this is my choice. So it can be done and yes, took a lot of work and determination but some luck as well in choosing a great career, not only well paid but also a lot of jobs out there. Everyone needs an accountant.

@Darbs76

There’s a time I would have said that, but I worked hard to change it. Education, working my way up. Didn’t happen overnight of course and took a long time to get out of the benefit trap. I know it’s not always that easy, but might be worth looking to longer term options

I done exactly the same as you. Then illness and redundancy and boom, back to square one.

YANBU. I was poor for a good decade and a half, so was DH before we met. It sucked. It just becomes the central concern of your life, day in day out and you can't actually be yourself, behave how you want to , because money issues get in the way.

I hope your fortunes change.

Gives up on thread

I’m sorry OP. I remember how I felt when I was in that situation - one day having a huge meltdown in Tesco when my card was declined and not being able to get any cash from the machine, meaning I was up to my overdraft limit. The embarrassment and humiliation just broke me. A man, who I can only describe as an angel, offered to pay for my shopping and even made me pick up another couple of packs of nappies and formula.
I’m in my mid-50s now and in a much better position financially but it took years and years of waking up with a feeling of dread and fear every day and I am still scared 20 years later that it can all happen again.
I don’t want to be patronising but please know, it can get better. Good luck.

Sorry - I haven't read the full thread, but in case no-one has mentioned them yet:
Olio app - free food & non-food items (waste reduction). If someone near you does it you can generally get end of day supermarket items such as bread & f&v everyday, completely free.
TooGoodToGo app - can be hit & miss depending on what retailers participate near you but generally; greggs, morrisons, Spar etc - Magic Bags - random items for about 30% of full price

@MarrymeTomHardy

Sorry - I haven't read the full thread, but in case no-one has mentioned them yet: Olio app - free food & non-food items (waste reduction). If someone near you does it you can generally get end of day supermarket items such as bread & f&v everyday, completely free. TooGoodToGo app - can be hit & miss depending on what retailers participate near you but generally; greggs, morrisons, Spar etc - Magic Bags - random items for about 30% of full price

That's great. But it doesn't pay the bills does it. Or the rent/mortgage. Food isn't the only thing people are unable to afford.

@Maverickess

I get that not every kid can be top of the class, and not everyone can earn six figures. My post was about aspiration. So many people feel trapped in poverty but they spend all their energy complaining about it and feeling depressed. You can channel that energy into your kids instead - a much more hopeful and positive way to spend it.

No, I'm 'spending' the vast majority of my energy on working in a job that's physically, emotionally and mentally draining, that people pay a fortune for and I get paid the least you're allowed to legally pay someone, and I only get that for my official hours, the 4/5 hours a week that aren't on the rota, but apparently important enough for me to have to do, don't get paid.

I am depressed because it's not enough to live on, and despite it needing a certain skill set, determination, passion, drive, resilience, compassion it's written off as being unskilled and worthless, while society makes ever increasing demands and relies on it to make sure that the vulnerable people in our society are safe and cared for.

The man in the middle gets the big bucks, and oh isn't he just an inspiration for doing so well for himself....... By exploiting the users of the service and the people who work for him. What a guy.

So yeah, sometimes it gets to people and they vent, they feel a bit fed up and they moan about it.

Some of these comments come across like we're not allowed to, like we're not allowed to feel anything other than blinding optimism every second of the day about how you're going to change it for the better. Like somehow, we're worth less than the average human.

What a meaningful response to a patronising (I’ll teach you how to aspire ffs) comment. Covid was supposed to highlight those who are paid badly yet carry out jobs that are critical to society. We went back to business as usual pretty damn fast. Vent loudly, you’re perfectly entitled

@2bazookas

I was also fed up being poor. So I worked damn hard until it stopped.

Would you say the same to someone working 50+ hours a week in a low-paid job, queuing at a food bank, struggling to find the time to even think about how they're going to feed their children the day after tomorrow whilst also stressing about unpaid bills, the soaring costs of living and trying to decide between eating and putting the heating on?

I spent some time working in the homeless sector and we regularly had people working full-time staying at our hostels because they couldn't afford to rent anywhere in the town and, if they could afford to rent a room, there were none available at the particular time they needed it.

Simplistic views on poverty are one of the reasons the detrimental, long-term and sometimes life-long effects of it aren't truly understood - even by those who say they 'got out of it'. In my experience, there are people who chide others for not being able to 'work' their way out of poverty who haven't been affected by it beyond it simply being a former reality of their lives in a now quite abstract way, much the same as breaking a limb early in life and, by rote of it healing, not causing any lasting effect.

When you read the writing of someone like Jack Monroe, who gets to the very essence of how poverty can and does irreversible damage to some of us, you can start to understand the catastrophic effect is has on so many people. Or, you'll never understand, and you make comments like you've made, on forums like this.

Just work harder is the poverty version of telling someone who's depressed to just cheer up. It's sickening.

[quote Landedonfeet]@5329871e on a thread last year

This is what we do with our £100K:

What would possess you to think you had a worthwhile contribution to this thread?[/quote]
Because my parents were really poor and I’m not

[quote CayrolBaaaskin]@Ionlydomassiveones - we have an excellent free education in this country. Please don’t tell your kids the only way to get ahead is something they don’t have access to. It’s not true.[/quote]
This really is such an awful comment. So many things contribute to a successful education experience and poverty impacts on almost every one. I teach in a school in an extremely deprived area. I can tell you that it simply isn't a level playing field. It's not because the teachers are any worse, or even because the students don't work as hard as more affluent students. They just have to work twice as hard to get to the same starting point as more privileged children.

@Meklk

Ladies, I have clothes-sizes 10-12 (skirts,blouses,some jackets). All quite new and washed. If you are able to pick them up (East London, Ilford)- pm me, more than happy to give them for someone!

How will that help anyone struggling with bills, eating etc. And asking for your unwanted clothes to be collected ffs! Just sounds like you can’t be arsed to take your cast offs to a charity shop , if that’s your attempt to relate to anyone poor then it’s hopeless and misjudged

Why does nearly everyone have to be so adversial and rude responding to others’ suggestions? At least they’re trying to be helpful, and without knowing everyones specific situation. Snotty responses are unnecessary and often simply comes across as self-righteous spite.

@Wisenotboring I volunteer with children and teens in an underprivileged area, and I absolutely agree. People who've never lived it think it's just a case of not studying hard enough, but it's so much more than that for these children.

I completely agree - anyone who works full time should be able to afford a cheap holiday, roof over their head, to pay the bills and to buy clothes and a few bits & pieces. Disabled people should also be able to live win comfortable dignity. It’s 2022 and we are living in one of the richest economies in the world ffs.

Ffs some people are not academic, they are not ‘aspirational’, they just want to do a day’s hard physical work for a wage you can bloody live on!