Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel fed up of being poor.

540 replies

laptopba · 01/03/2022 18:38

Just that really. Feeling rubbish about how my life has turned out in relation to finances. Its bloody shit.

OP posts:
ICouldBeAnyone · 01/03/2022 19:25

Is there just one location? They do online though.

www.recipro-uk.com/onlineshop

Svara · 01/03/2022 19:27

@flyingdream

What does poor mean to you?
Yes, it can have huge variation, especially on MN. How poor makes a difference to what you can do to improve your situation. Some people would consider 20k a low income household.
5329871e · 01/03/2022 19:30

@laptopba

BeagleBum2001 it's rubbish isn't it. With the cost of everything going up, I just feel like I'm sinking further.

I felt so sad when my DC asked me the other day which jobs pay well as they didn't want to be poor like mummy.

It’s not a bad thing that your DC aspires to earn more. What was your reply?
cuno · 01/03/2022 19:32

@OneRingToRuleThemAll

Can you do anything to change it? Or is there a reason why you're poor other than life just being too expensive?

I started saving £50 per month about 6 years ago and haven't touched it. Savings so add up quickly if you are able to do it little and often.

Do you think poor people are poor because they choose not to put £50 in savings each month? Confused
user1471453601 · 01/03/2022 19:35

£50 a month?? When I was poor (though "poor" is a relative thing) I wouldn't have been able to save 50p a month.

I remember, vividly, the days I'd go to the atm and be praying I'd be able to get the £10 I needed to see me through.

Now I'm relatively comfortable. I was always able (sometimes by the skin of my teeth) to keep a roof over my head and the lights on.

I suppose I just kept plugging away really. I ended up on what seemed to me to be a good salary, and retired on an pension based on end of service salary. Not many of those left these days.

Keep going, opening poster, and if you ever make it to "comfortable" never, ever forget those days when you were not. It makes me furious when those that do forget, berate the poor just for being poor. No one ever makes it on their own, all of us that have ended up ok can point to the people who have given us their support, to help us get here.

Mumofsend · 01/03/2022 19:36

@Darbs76

There’s a time I would have said that, but I worked hard to change it. Education, working my way up. Didn’t happen overnight of course and took a long time to get out of the benefit trap. I know it’s not always that easy, but might be worth looking to longer term options
That's really positive to hear. I'm in the benefits trap and working hard to escape it. Glad to hear you managed it.
Yants · 01/03/2022 19:36

I think what annoys me about money and finance is I never seem to get the little (or often not so little) lucky breaks and windfalls that many other people seem to get from time to time... literally every penny I've got and every penny I've ever had has been entirely through earnings.

Hollyhocksarenotmessy · 01/03/2022 19:39

Hi OP. I hear your despair. I have been at absolute Rock bottom twice in my life, and understand what it's like to try and try and the universe just keeps kicking you in the teeth.

It doesn't mean that's it forever, I promise. As your children get older, things will get easier in terms of work. Nourish their ambitions and don't lose sight of your own longer term.

Hugs.

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 01/03/2022 19:43

I'm poor but because of debt which is my own fault. I try not to let DD know as she's young but it's hard when she wants everything. Most exciting thing recently was when I got her actual Quavers not Aldi's own brand Curls. DD was thrilled. Talked about costumes today for world book Day next week but she understands we don't have any spare to get a costume. She says she'll find something she already owns, bless her. She says can't you just go to work more and get more money Sad

I was making a list of Aldi foods and prices so I could check how much it'll be in advance but now prices are going up I'll have to change that.

MyGhastIsFlabbered · 01/03/2022 19:44

I have one of those top up accounts that rounds your purchases up to the nearest £. There's fuck all in it because every single month some emergency comes up and I need to raid it. And I'm talking school uniform needs/car repairs/petrol etc not luxuries. £50 a month. Some people really are on a different planet

Fiefofum · 01/03/2022 19:48

Well I have money but I’m fed up of being infertile, life is shit in many different ways. I have no answers to that. Not sure what the point of it all is tbh.

Brainfogmcfogface · 01/03/2022 19:53

Yanbu, I feel the same, live in a shithole with no money to spare, no savings as every time u get a bit ahead another catastrophe happens that wipes
Out the meagre amount I have managed to put away, and a very bleak future as the cost of living increases, my envy levels of other people are at an all time high atm. I’m on my own so carry the full weight of it all and do my best to not let the kids see me stressing, but damn it’s hard!

smorgasbords · 01/03/2022 19:54

@Ohmnomnom

For the past 3 months, I've done my budget at the beginning of the month and by the end it's useless as prices have shot up. Food, fuel, petrol it's ridiculous, and only going to get worse Sad
God this is so true, exactly what’s happening with me. It really fucking sucks. It’s so stressful watching the prices of everything creep up week by week. I’ve never experienced anything like it before.
Libraryghost · 01/03/2022 19:55

I have been really poor in the past and yes it's shit. I can't really give you tips because it depends on your circumstances but I can tell you that your life can change. Your kids will grow up and you will get out of the trap. I am like you op, never been given anything, everything I have got I have worked for. It is maddening at times when you see others being given a leg up but trust me you will get to a place where you will be immensely proud you have stood on your own 2 feet and owe nobody anything.

Maverickess · 01/03/2022 19:56

@laptopba

BeagleBum2001 it's rubbish isn't it. With the cost of everything going up, I just feel like I'm sinking further.

I felt so sad when my DC asked me the other day which jobs pay well as they didn't want to be poor like mummy.

My DD asked me this a good few years ago now, and she's got her first university interview at the end of this month 😊 I have nagged supported her education in any small and large way I can and fingers crossed she'll get a place and a better paying job that me.

"Do you want to live like me?" Or words to that effect have kept her trying hard and seeing the bigger picture, but support and pulling back/being mindful of mental stresses is important too.

And yep, I also feel resigned acceptance that I'm going to be working my arse off and struggling again.
After cutting costs earlier this year, paying off a big debt and managing a modest (by MN standards it's more pocket change 🤣) amount of savings by working ridiculous hours during covid staff shortages, I was starting to have a bit of disposable cash to have the heating on when it's cold or decorate a room buying things over a couple of months, with the increases I already know about and the ones set to go up more, I'm going to be back to rationing the heating more than I already do and worrying who doesn't get paid this month.

Bloody sucks OP

PollyPepper · 01/03/2022 19:57

Yanbu.. I work full time in emergency services and barely scrape by every month. No savings. No safety net. Paying ££££ in rent and just getting worse. I'm sick of it too OP. Flowers

5329871e · 01/03/2022 19:58

Genuine question to everyone on this thread who feels poor. What are you doing with your kids to make sure they’re not in the same position? Are you teaching them to work hard, doing homework with them, making sure they’re top of the class and aspiring to a good career?

You may be trapped in poverty. But in the UK there’s nothing preventing your kids from earning six figures if they make the right choices from an early age and have you to guide them.

My parents were exactly where you are now. And I’m not.

mycarisBananacustard · 01/03/2022 19:59

Totally understand and I get SO frustrated by the fake poor. My dsis is absolutely AWFUL for this to the point I’m considering going NC as she is such a self absorbed lying bitch

We have 4-5 days each week with NOTHING in our account (and we only have ONE account). We go without and yet dsis pleads poverty all the time.

She’s such a disgusting piece of crap that she will get freebies on fb or go to food banks . She has more than one account as has lots of saving pots but rather than use any of those she pleads fake poverty if gets a bit low on her current account.

Owns 2 properties- Always getting stuff done / buying new stuff then telling people she has no money. DM constantly buys her stuff too. She doesn’t live in the real world she’s fake and I hate it

RocketPanda · 01/03/2022 19:59

I remember those days very well, having a cup of coffee and hoping your kids leave leftovers for dinner. It's the constant-Ness of being poor, it wears away hope and happiness. I remember we had a savings tin, one of the ones you need a tin opener to open we got it in the pound shop. My goal was to put at least one coin in a week. It didn't matter the value of the coin, just that at least one went in a week. Even if it was 10p. Sounds stupid but it felt like we had something. We would rattle it and say We're getting there.

doingitforyorkshire · 01/03/2022 19:59

@OneRingToRuleThemAll

Can you do anything to change it? Or is there a reason why you're poor other than life just being too expensive?

I started saving £50 per month about 6 years ago and haven't touched it. Savings so add up quickly if you are able to do it little and often.

I don't quite know what to say.................

£50 is a lot when you're poor, I'll leave it at that.

WinterOfOurDiscoTent · 01/03/2022 20:01

Yes. I grew up without much and never feeling as good as my school friends, I always wanted so much better for my DC but it's not happened and I hate that he will feel like "the poor one" among his peers without the same kind of home and the same opportunities. Kids can be so cruel and it breaks my heart.

RalphLaurenG · 01/03/2022 20:02

@OneRingToRuleThemAll

Can you do anything to change it? Or is there a reason why you're poor other than life just being too expensive?

I started saving £50 per month about 6 years ago and haven't touched it. Savings so add up quickly if you are able to do it little and often.

No one is suggesting that everybody has £50 to save - it's the philosophy behind it. You can apply it equally to £5 or 50p!

cookiemon666 · 01/03/2022 20:03

I am fed up too. We are in a rented house and have been served a section 21. In our area there is literally nowhere to rent and house prices are ridiculous.
I had to take medical retirement last year and now can only work a few hours a week. We have struggled anyway as a single parent family but did okay when I was working normally.
And yesterday my son got an ier at school as he was wearing black trainers, so somehow today I had to find money to buy him a pair of leather shoes, not easy when his feet are size 12.

It just never seems to get any better.

Libraryghost · 01/03/2022 20:03

@5329871e I hear your point because i am the same I came from a poor background and worked my way out of it but i thinks it's getting tougher to do that now. Poor kids go to the worst schools and live in the worst areas. We have a private education system within the state system. It's basically a post code lottery and the best schools are in the wealthier areas. You can get out of poverty but everything is stacked against you.

mygrandchildrenrock · 01/03/2022 20:03

For years I was poor, on my own with 3 children in a council house. If one of the children got a hole in the sole of their shoe they would have to wait before we could buy new ones. We were all very slim because we didn't eat very much and certainly no snacks between meals because we couldn't afford them. One day my ds, who'd have been about 9, came home from school (they walked home on their own in those days, before someone says anything!) and asked me why I was crying, was it the gas man or the electric man.
Over the years, I have been fortunate to go to college and then university and am now very financially comfortable. I have never forgotten being poor though and even this weekend as I went round Tesco's I still felt guilty as I put a decent amount of good food in my trolley.
If it's any help, my 3 children are now all working adults and all say they had a good childhood, even though we were poor.
It's really tough having no money and as everyone says, it seems like it's only going to get worse.