To feel fed up of being poor.

[laptopba]

Just that really. Feeling rubbish about how my life has turned out in relation to finances. Its bloody shit.

I just love these posts telling us we should better ourselves, and make sure our children strive for the stars. Who would be the first to complain if there was no-one to do all the minimum wage jobs which provide the services so many of you take for granted? Some of you are so far out of touch with reality it would be laughable if it wasn't such a serious subject.

if you have an iPhone you're not poor

Ffs words fail me. Every single thing that happens in our local secondary, happens online. Accessing homework, which often includes links to youtube, powerpoints for exam revision, parents evening, extra-curricular activities, ordering school lunch, attending school council, messaging parents/carers on school app, applying for FSM and uniform grants, information on local sports clubs and other activities. You need to register and pay online to attend all these clubs. You need to register online to attend the local youth theatre.

A basic phone isn't going to do it. You need to be able to upgrade regularly. Social workers are aware of kids whose families can't afford the devices, and these children are automatically falling behind.

@Dazedandconfused28

I think the real kicker is that it's so expensive being poor.

If you have enough to buy in bulk you'll get the best deals. But so many don't have the means to do this.

Cash points that charge for withdrawals are most commonly found in deprived areas.

Poor people need to rely on credit & have fewer options, so spend more on interest.

My son gets DLA, but we were only able to get this after a report from a private therapist. For those who need the money more they will have to wait a ridiculous amount of time to access treatment (and therefore evidence) from the NHS.

The poverty premium is real.

Gosh this is SO true. Really hits home for me as we also had to go private for DLA. We borrowed money from family or there's no way we'd have managed. I have no idea how families in similar situations without that privilege cope and my heart goes put to them.

We are currently living very hand to mouth. I am part time and about to increase hours to earn extra £. I have also started working some side jobs and overtime. However nervous these required up front costs so I could get the ball rolling...

@cookiemon666

I am fed up too. We are in a rented house and have been served a section 21. In our area there is literally nowhere to rent and house prices are ridiculous. I had to take medical retirement last year and now can only work a few hours a week. We have struggled anyway as a single parent family but did okay when I was working normally. And yesterday my son got an ier at school as he was wearing black trainers, so somehow today I had to find money to buy him a pair of leather shoes, not easy when his feet are size 12.

It just never seems to get any better.

I'm so sorry to hear this. Please talk to your school head in confidence, you may be eligible for a school uniform allowance. This is pretty normal procedure and can greatly help many families. At our school, even families that don't formally meet the criteria are normally still offered support

We managed to pay our bills last month because my DH found a $10 note on his morning dog walk. I ran to the ATM and deposited it on the day our last dd for the month was due. We would otherwise have been $5 short, and overdrawn. It was a miracle. Covid has trashed our finances, primarily because lockdown have resulted on our DS no longer being able to attend school, so I'm unable to work.

@Katya213

I can only feed my child healthy enough food. For the last month I have been living on 22p noodles day in day out. First time in eight years I didn't quite make the rent this month also.

Im well and truly in the gutter, I look like a tramp, my hair hasn't been done in two years, I've got very little clothes, my bras have holes in them and are grey but I just cling to hope it will change someday. It can't change now as I'm alone with my daughter, I have no support, my family are in another country.

Hi @Katya213. I think your post will stay with me a long time. You sound incredibly resourceful and are clearly doing the very best for your children that you possibly can. It's important to look after yourself and keep yourself healthy also. There are often food bank sort of places where no questions are asked, like veg that's on its sell by date etc. Is there anything like that in your area? I find when I scrimp on food I end up making myself poorly which impedes my ability to look after my kids. Thinking of you

Struggled for years. Husband working 7 days a week and still does. Eldest has been working for a year and a half after getting a good degree. He prioritised security and pay and his job offers exactly that but he doesn’t love it. Often tells me mine is more interesting. I completely get it.

Just saw your daughter may apply to uni too. Do look very carefully at accommodation costs for anywhere she considers. Both halls for first year and private. Vastly different. And don’t believe people who tell you this isn’t important and to go solely on course. You can and should look at both. Whole uni experience will affect how well she does.

@BellaTheDarkOverlord what a lovely sounding costume - your daughter has a fab imagination!

@marthamydear I watched that at the weekend it really hit home that this is reality for lots of people.

@Shamoo great post

@BoredZelda

I resent the implication that is all that's ever happening when someone talks about being poor, it's insulting.

Ok, by your "it's what they posted" argument, what makes you think OP is doing anything to find a solution? Just because people you know are doing that? As I said, having volunteered with an organisation giving this sort of advice, I can tell you there are just as many who don't, as those who do. We gave the advice anyway, most would take it, some would reject it, some would make all sorts of excuses as to why none of the advice would work for them and those were the ones who were just seemingly looking for a handout.

I don't know why people would seek to suggest everyone who is living in poverty are one homogenous group who all think and act in the same way.

Why do people feel the need to police the poor and how the impacts of it on their lives affects them, it's like you're not allowed to talk about it unless a certain set of conditions are met as dictated by other people that probably aren't in the same or even a similar situation. At what level of 'trying to improve the situation' is someone allowed to get fed up about it? And why do you think that you get to be judge and jury on that? Because you've given advice to people about money? The OP is allowed to be fed up with being poor, as am I, we don't need to meet a set of parameters to be allowed feelings around the situation we live in or to talk about that to prove we're worthy enough, you don't get to decide that.

I hate that there are some people who have come in to substantial money purely through luck (and malingering) and then proceed to rub it in your face (buying a house outright when we will never be able to save a deposit whilst the kids are young) and don’t work. Makes me wonder why we knock our pans in daily and we are not badly off really.

It won’t last forever OP, I remember being on benefits, not working when DD was young etc, every penny was accounted for. once she was older I went back to work and not the younger DC are getting older I’ve returned to studying to improve money even further

I feel the same OP.

People can say "get an education, work hard, change jobs" ... I've got a Masters degree and work FT, but you can't take away my circumstances. I'm on my own with 2 children, and even with all the love in the world, it's incredibly stressful, and excludes me from working too much overtime, which is how a lot of people in my industry seem to move up.

But, with time things change. As an aside, Facebook mp has some great stuff if you really shift through, I've got some very pricey and almost brand new items for the house that look great

There's 2 things with talking about poverty that annoy me. Well i say annoy me, i really mean get right under my skin and eat away at me.
The 2 things are this.
First one, the attitude shown on the cartoon link i posted above. The attitude of ' I never got anything handed to me ', the lack of any self awareness or humility shown by someone so utterly privileged. And the crushing effect this has on someone listening who isn't handed anything at all. And lives knowing the difference day in day out.
The second thing is the utter blindness to life today, compared to 'back when I was/ back when i had to' etc. The 'we didnt have mobile phones/ big tellys and we survived ' brigade have no clue that people are out there earning £9.50 an hour and paying £700 rent. And then having to find bills and food money on top. That's the kicker, rents are out of control. Back in their day there was more council housing and people could pay rents on low incomes. Now rents are extortionate and instead of better off people being angry about this, they say oh you should be an engineer, they are well paid. Its completely missing the point. Skint people wouldn't be skint back in the day, they wouldn't be well off but they'd manage as rents were more manageable. Now they are backs to the wall struggling and they are still being told to work harder.
Its inhumane.
And i blame the government for the state we are in now but thats another thread. Or maybe not.

@user1471453601

£50 a month?? When I was poor (though "poor" is a relative thing) I wouldn't have been able to save 50p a month.

I remember, vividly, the days I'd go to the atm and be praying I'd be able to get the £10 I needed to see me through.

Now I'm relatively comfortable. I was always able (sometimes by the skin of my teeth) to keep a roof over my head and the lights on.

I suppose I just kept plugging away really. I ended up on what seemed to me to be a good salary, and retired on an pension based on end of service salary. Not many of those left these days.

Keep going, opening poster, and if you ever make it to "comfortable" never, ever forget those days when you were not. It makes me furious when those that do forget, berate the poor just for being poor. No one ever makes it on their own, all of us that have ended up ok can point to the people who have given us their support, to help us get here.

I've been there. We're not doing well now, but I remember the days of standing at an ATM with my nerves all over the place. It took years before I bought supermarket shopping with a card again. The constant worry of bank cards being declined stays with you.

@VeganAvoToast

I feel the same OP.

People can say "get an education, work hard, change jobs" ... I've got a Masters degree and work FT, but you can't take away my circumstances. I'm on my own with 2 children, and even with all the love in the world, it's incredibly stressful, and excludes me from working too much overtime, which is how a lot of people in my industry seem to move up.

But, with time things change. As an aside, Facebook mp has some great stuff if you really shift through, I've got some very pricey and almost brand new items for the house that look great

@VeganAvoToast - yes circumstances will be there but jobs etc will mean you should do well.

My aunt - left school at 16, worked as hairdresser, recruitment consultant and then at a sales job for a tile company. She met her partner, they bought flats in a huge house and did it up and she worked her way up in her job eventually owning her own tile company. My other aunt started off having a child at 14 and then more in her teens, being with an unsuitable partner and in her 30s met her current one who's very wealthy and she has a fourth child with.

So it can be a mixture of circumstances and luck and hard work.

See I actually have that Software Engineering degree, but I’m also a disabled LP with a disabled child.

I had a country house, horses, skied 5 weeks a year and had children when I was older… turns out marrying a fucknut turns all of that on its head.

I’m trying to get back into employment and have had the useful suggestion of “get an au pair”! - because I’m falling over myself with office space and a spare room here…

My youngest has just informed me this morning that the shoes I bought him last week are too small. So that £20 I put in my savings account yesterday is coming straight back out…

Despite all of my gripes, I am very lucky because I have a council house - ergo sensible rent - AND the council aren’t putting up rent/CT this year.

@ssd the mobile phone thing makes me laugh too. Complaining people on benefits have a smart phones when it's the only way to actually access benefits these days. I remember a thread where a poster thought it would be reasonable for people to get 2 busses each way to the job centre to use their computers every day to complete their 30 hours work search rather than have a smart phone. It's insane.

A basic phone isn't going to do it. You need to be able to upgrade regularly

Nonsense

It's not nonsense. For instance the covid passports only worked on some of the most recent iOS

These posts in which people cite a 'relative' that's worked themselves up from their bootstraps are really unhelpful and just make the posters sound condescending and patronising. Any one of us at any time could fall on hard times and all it takes is a run of bad luck. Who weeks ago Ukrainians were sending their kids to school and going to work and now they are queuing in lines for a bread roll!

'My other aunt started off having a child at 14 and then more in her teens, being with an unsuitable partner and in her 30s met her current one who's very wealthy and she has a fourth child with.'

I can only assume your family harried and hectored her from age 14, throughout her twenties, and into her 30s, for her appalling personal life choices, and failure to gain a foothold in the tiling industry. Thank heavens she had the good sense to finally knuckle down, put her nose to the grindstone, and . . . marry a rich man.

The other tributes and I salute her.

[quote liveforsummer]@ssd the mobile phone thing makes me laugh too. Complaining people on benefits have a smart phones when it's the only way to actually access benefits these days. I remember a thread where a poster thought it would be reasonable for people to get 2 busses each way to the job centre to use their computers every day to complete their 30 hours work search rather than have a smart phone. It's insane. [/quote]
It's ridiculous isn't it and depending on where you live buses can be very expensive ,so it's cheaper and more efficient to use a smart phone
If the pandemic has taught us one thing ,it's that internet access is not a luxury,those children who didn't have access or very limited access to the internet were massively disadvantaged