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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel fed up of being poor.

540 replies

laptopba · 01/03/2022 18:38

Just that really. Feeling rubbish about how my life has turned out in relation to finances. Its bloody shit.

OP posts:
BeagleBum2001 · 01/03/2022 18:42

Same :(

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 01/03/2022 18:45

Can you do anything to change it? Or is there a reason why you're poor other than life just being too expensive?

I started saving £50 per month about 6 years ago and haven't touched it. Savings so add up quickly if you are able to do it little and often.

Original poster
laptopba · 01/03/2022 18:47

BeagleBum2001 it's rubbish isn't it. With the cost of everything going up, I just feel like I'm sinking further.

I felt so sad when my DC asked me the other day which jobs pay well as they didn't want to be poor like mummy.

OP posts:
Fedupofitnow123 · 01/03/2022 18:47

When you're poor 50 a month is a lot of money!

I'm the same, we've been through a lit and are financially ruined! It's so hard!

flyingdream · 01/03/2022 18:49

What does poor mean to you?

AprilShowers82 · 01/03/2022 18:50

@OneRingToRuleThemAll I don’t mean to be unkind but your post is so short sighted it’s unreal. I’d kindly recommend you step away from this thread, as based on your reply I really don’t think you can relate in any way to the op or offer any useful advice.

Op, hugs to you. I’ve been there, it’s shit. I don’t know your personal circumstances obviously. I went to college and retrained so am doing a bit better now, still too much month left at the end of my money. Always dreamed of owning my own house (live in an area where they’re cheap too), but I’m in my 40s now with no spare cash to save for a deposit and have accepted it will never happen. Still stings though. Life’s unfair. Sending you lots of love.

Original poster
laptopba · 01/03/2022 18:50

Ooh lots of reasons. Health, multiple redundancies with large gaps of unemployment, family issues, low paid jobs. Im not asking for much but everytime I feel things are looking good life throws a spanner in the works and im pulled further back. I know things will never really get that much better but it grinds you down after so many years.

OP posts:
Darbs76 · 01/03/2022 18:51

There’s a time I would have said that, but I worked hard to change it. Education, working my way up. Didn’t happen overnight of course and took a long time to get out of the benefit trap. I know it’s not always that easy, but might be worth looking to longer term options

x2boys · 01/03/2022 18:51

@OneRingToRuleThemAll

Can you do anything to change it? Or is there a reason why you're poor other than life just being too expensive?

I started saving £50 per month about 6 years ago and haven't touched it. Savings so add up quickly if you are able to do it little and often.

That's the thing ,when your poor and living month to month or week to week ,you can put £50 away at the beginning of the month ,but by the end you need it for food etc .
EatSleepReplete · 01/03/2022 18:55

@OneRingToRuleThemAll I can't even think of a response for that.

Akire · 01/03/2022 18:55

Yup just when you feel like on even keel along comes a big bill or another price increase and have reshuffle budgets once again. Funnily enough can’t make one pot go further no matter how hard you try.

elliejjtiny · 01/03/2022 18:57

Yanbu, me too. Fed up with not being able to replace our tatty furniture that doesn't match, only owning 1 pair of shoes, dh working away some weekends and knowing that in the short term we'd be better off if he didn't bother working at all.

wtfisgoingonhere21 · 01/03/2022 18:59

@laptopba
I've posted here abit over the last couple of months because I've been feeling exactly the same and you get so fed up with it it's unreal.

Upto two years ago before covid hit we were for the first time since getting married and having kids in a really good financial place.
Finally saved enough for a big holiday and I'd bought the car I wanted rather than the car I had the budget for (second hand still but I've never had a car worth more than £1000 before that)

We had mini breaks etc etc and I vividly remember taking the dc out once just before pay day and spending hundreds on new clothes and shoes and trainers for them both without thinking about it.

Roll on to now and we are at the bottom again and the last few months have really taken their toll.

Covid well and truly fucked us over financially and it's spiralled from there.

We've taken on another job between us to get some back up savings as we've lost it all.

For the first time this week I'm feeling hopeful that we are starting to make some progress but it will be a while

I've started a savings account to save for re training in a similar field to the one I'm in but will allow me to expand on my earnings by a fair amount.
Is this something you could do?

Original poster
laptopba · 01/03/2022 19:02

@Akire

Yup just when you feel like on even keel along comes a big bill or another price increase and have reshuffle budgets once again. Funnily enough can’t make one pot go further no matter how hard you try.
Yup that's how I feel. The house looks so grubby. The furniture is so tatty. The bathroom is horrendous and the landlord would never change it. It works so it's ok.
OP posts:
Firefliess · 01/03/2022 19:11

@laptopba

BeagleBum2001 it's rubbish isn't it. With the cost of everything going up, I just feel like I'm sinking further.

I felt so sad when my DC asked me the other day which jobs pay well as they didn't want to be poor like mummy.

Do answer their questions won't you? There are lots of jobs that do pay well and depending what their strengths and talents are, you can and should encourage them in the directions that will help them have a better life. For yourself, yes it's crap if you can't ever seem to find the money for the things that you need. But you're raising kids right now. That's an end in itself if they're fed and warm. You can earn more or spend less later in life when they're independent.
Jvg33 · 01/03/2022 19:14

I am worried about people. Everything on my usual shopping list has increased. One item I usually buy has increased by 55p in in week!

WorraLiberty · 01/03/2022 19:15

@OneRingToRuleThemAll

Can you do anything to change it? Or is there a reason why you're poor other than life just being too expensive?

I started saving £50 per month about 6 years ago and haven't touched it. Savings so add up quickly if you are able to do it little and often.

Many poor people are living hand to mouth and there's no way they could even consider saving that amount of money.
Bringsexyback · 01/03/2022 19:18

When i was a single mum on benefits i smoked, £12.50 is doable to save for most people

Riseholme · 01/03/2022 19:19

@laptopba. Not sure if this helps.
Near us there’s a place where people take unused , half tins of paint, tiles etc and others can buy them very cheaply. Eg £1 to £2 .
It’s called Reciprocity.
As for your bathroom have you asked the LL to upgrade?
We let a house and I expect my tenant to live in a home similar to my own. White goods are changed ASAP if they break and we put a new shower screen in because the old one had a mouldy seal.

Bringsexyback · 01/03/2022 19:19

£12.50 per week sorry, pressed return too quickly

newbiename · 01/03/2022 19:20

@OneRingToRuleThemAll

Can you do anything to change it? Or is there a reason why you're poor other than life just being too expensive?

I started saving £50 per month about 6 years ago and haven't touched it. Savings so add up quickly if you are able to do it little and often.

When I was on benefits I would run out of money before I got the next payment. I wouldn't have been able to save 50p. That was years ago. I think it's even worse now.
Bluesheep8 · 01/03/2022 19:22

I started saving £50 per month about 6 years ago and haven't touched it. Savings so add up quickly if you are able to do it little and often.

What if there isn't £50 to save? Confused

ICouldBeAnyone · 01/03/2022 19:23

[quote Riseholme]@laptopba. Not sure if this helps.
Near us there’s a place where people take unused , half tins of paint, tiles etc and others can buy them very cheaply. Eg £1 to £2 .
It’s called Reciprocity.
As for your bathroom have you asked the LL to upgrade?
We let a house and I expect my tenant to live in a home similar to my own. White goods are changed ASAP if they break and we put a new shower screen in because the old one had a mouldy seal.[/quote]
I’d never heard of reciprocity. What an amazing idea to reduce waste and have someone else benefit for a low cost.

x2boys · 01/03/2022 19:24

@Bringsexyback

When i was a single mum on benefits i smoked, £12.50 is doable to save for most people
It doesn't really matter the amount though does it ,if you smoke and budget £12.50 for tobacco you have already spent that money I could put £10,£20 or whatever away at the beginning of the month something always seems to come up ,the kids need a new coat ,or shoes ,or its someone's birthday ,that's the reality of living month to month or week to week I can put an amount away at the beginning of the month but will invariably need it at the end .
Ohmnomnom · 01/03/2022 19:25

For the past 3 months, I've done my budget at the beginning of the month and by the end it's useless as prices have shot up. Food, fuel, petrol it's ridiculous, and only going to get worse Sad