To feel fed up of being poor.

[laptopba]

Just that really. Feeling rubbish about how my life has turned out in relation to finances. Its bloody shit.

It’s bloody miserable having to think about money all the time

I’m glad ds will not have to worry about money he is very privileged (not from me) and I remind him all the time. Life is much easier with money it allows you choices

@laptopba. I'm sorry things are so tight & shit for you right now. I really hope you can find a way to get out of it!! Would painting your place make it feel nicer? Would the landlord let you? Would they buy the paint if you offered to do the painting?

If you can find any loose change down the side if the sofa, a £1 bunch of daffodils from the supermarket can make a huge difference to how a room feels.

Definitely look on freecycle/market place or post if anyone has a xyz they no longer need.

At least it'll soon be spring, less heating needed and sunshine makes most people feel better about life.

Fingers crossed a windfall finds you xx

It’s not helpful to tell people who have nothing ‘to save’. Just shows how out of touch people are.

Nobody is telling people who have nothing to save.

“Out of touch” is a ridiculous argument bandied about.

I have volunteered with a money advice organisation. I’m well aware of how some people have nothing to spare, but I’m also aware that some people do, but just haven’t been able to grasp how to budget or how to improve their situation and when they are pointed in the right direction, some are able to make a difference.

Saving 50 quid might not be good advice, but what’s your solution? Just to say “yeah it’s shit isn’t it, lots of people have no money”

Yes I'm with you, single working mum just about got a bit of money together for nice treats and it's going to end up going in high energy, food bills etc it's utter shit

@BoredZelda

It’s not helpful to tell people who have nothing ‘to save’. Just shows how out of touch people are.

Nobody is telling people who have nothing to save.

“Out of touch” is a ridiculous argument bandied about.

I have volunteered with a money advice organisation. I’m well aware of how some people have nothing to spare, but I’m also aware that some people do, but just haven’t been able to grasp how to budget or how to improve their situation and when they are pointed in the right direction, some are able to make a difference.

Saving 50 quid might not be good advice, but what’s your solution? Just to say “yeah it’s shit isn’t it, lots of people have no money”

Yes, the OP was asking for empathy not a lecture.

The advice given is always so bloody patronising.

@Katya213

I can only feed my child healthy enough food. For the last month I have been living on 22p noodles day in day out. First time in eight years I didn't quite make the rent this month also.

Im well and truly in the gutter, I look like a tramp, my hair hasn't been done in two years, I've got very little clothes, my bras have holes in them and are grey but I just cling to hope it will change someday. It can't change now as I'm alone with my daughter, I have no support, my family are in another country.

This sounds really crap. Can you get help from a food/clothing bank? I know they have them local to me.

I'm now working 2 jobs to make ends meet, spend the entire weekend dc are at their dads, after already doing my normal Monday to Friday, on my second job but instead of making me better off it's covering the maintenance he's decided to stop paying instead of setting me up to be in a better position to deal with the energy price hikes and give us a slightly better quality of life like I'd planned. Honestly can't see a way out. There aren't enough hours in the day and I'm already exhausted.

I used to live in a different country and it was a completely different life. We had to go and buy gas canisters and that basically made sure yoi could use your cooker and also heat your water. Sometimes the gas would run out and I couldn't replace it, I'd alrasdy been having cold showers for a few days before, but when that happens you have to have spare money for food that doesn't involve being cooked in a oven or on a hob, I was too poor to afford a microwave as well, sometimes I had €20 for shopping a week and I'd have to buy a big 1k bag of cornflakes and eat that until I got paid again to buy a bottle of gas

[quote FantasticFebruary]@laptopba. I'm sorry things are so tight & shit for you right now. I really hope you can find a way to get out of it!! Would painting your place make it feel nicer? Would the landlord let you? Would they buy the paint if you offered to do the painting?

If you can find any loose change down the side if the sofa, a £1 bunch of daffodils from the supermarket can make a huge difference to how a room feels.

Definitely look on freecycle/market place or post if anyone has a xyz they no longer need.

At least it'll soon be spring, less heating needed and sunshine makes most people feel better about life.

Fingers crossed a windfall finds you xx[/quote]
What a lovely post! 😀

What job does your Dh do? And how old are your dc? When could you next take a job? Could you do anything in the meantime to improve the situation? Some sort of course or training, sort of prince2 or free accounting course?

And ha at the idea of saving 50 pm. I have 40 automatically moved from my account in to my savings each month and in the last 4 years since setting it up the tens not been more than a few days pass before I've had to transfer it back to eat or pay an essential bill

So true @nanbread I have two children ,my oldest son is fifteen he's a lovely caring boy. ,but he has never been academic of course I support and encourage him and he works as hard as can if he manages a few grade fours at GCSe I will be delighted but if he doesn't it won't be for the want of trying
My youngest son has severe autism and learning disabilities and is at a special school for children with severe learning disabilities so will always need 24 hour Care

@Mumofsend - thanks. Keep going. I remember when I got my first promotion I wasn’t going to take it as I wouldn’t see much of the extra cash due to the benefit trap. But i did take it and I wasn’t thinking long term back then but eventually things can change if you keep chipping away

@5329871e

Genuine question to everyone on this thread who feels poor. What are you doing with your kids to make sure they’re not in the same position? Are you teaching them to work hard, doing homework with them, making sure they’re top of the class and aspiring to a good career?

You may be trapped in poverty. But in the UK there’s nothing preventing your kids from earning six figures if they make the right choices from an early age and have you to guide them.

My parents were exactly where you are now. And I’m not.

My son’s severe disability is what keeps me trapped on benefits due to lack of wraparound/ holiday clubs for disabled children. And as things currently stand there’s an 80% chance he will never work for his particular disability. 50% of working aged disabled people don’t work at all. Of course I’ll do everything I can to give him the best chance to work in the future but there are so many barriers in society. It’s naïve to think there is ‘nothing’ preventing kids in the UK from earning six figures! DS is already at a disadvantage to his peers based on inequalities in this country and he’s only just started school.

@WinterOfOurDiscoTent - not true. I have a disability which has had a big impact on the last decade for me.

'Right, but for some, that is something which will help.

Retraining if you can, for a job that will earn better money, is not a bad suggestion. People do actually do that.'

But OP wasn't asking for suggestions on how to lift herself out of poverty. She was asking if she was being unreasonable to be fed up with being poor: the answer to which is - no, you're not. And it isn't merely an intellectual exercise - everyone knows that there are routes out. That's stating the bleedin' obvious. But there are obstacles, too. Saying anyone can be a doctor/software developer/hedge fund manager isn't the same as saying everyone can. There will always be redundancies; lay-offs; recessions. Familial collapses. Heath crises. You can 'work your way up' as far as you like; 'educate yourself' as much as you can - but the bottom can still drop out of your world. It did for my dad. He was already educated, and had been very senior. But in the mid 80s, as now, there wasn't exactly a surfeit of jobs for those in late-middle-age. He did all sorts of jobs to make ends meet, from fruit-picker to postman to support worker. But we were never comfortable.

Saving 50 quid might not be good advice, but what’s your solution? Just to say “yeah it’s shit isn’t it, lots of people have no money”

Why can't we just do that sometimes? Why can't we take a break from constantly trying to find a 'solution' and talk about how crap it is?
Because 95% of the time I'm trying to find a solution, I'm accepting extra shifts that knacker me out and see me working 14.5 hours for 4/5 days a week and 8 hours on the other 3/4, I'm always looking to shave a few quid off here and there with everything I need to spend on, I'm always looking for a solution and you know what? On top of a more than ft job and running a house and a dependent on my own, a conversation about how crap it is gives me the chance to offload and feel worth something because someone is listening or reading and replying, which gives me the strength to keep trying.
So shoot me.

@FantasticFebruary glad to make you smile

@liveforsummer

And ha at the idea of saving 50 pm. I have 40 automatically moved from my account in to my savings each month and in the last 4 years since setting it up the tens not been more than a few days pass before I've had to transfer it back to eat or pay an essential bill

The exact same Iv set it up and then I have to transfer it back again!! So depressing! Currently have £30 to last the next 2 weeks on food!! Oh and fuel! No idea how this happened this month!!! I find it difficult when mummy friends want to meet for a coffee somewhere or stay out for lunch! I hate telling them people I have no money for that!!

I just wanted to add here to a previous posters post - she said she grew up poor and had a good childhood. I was the same -poor single mum but never lacked aspiration. My grandparents generation are immigrants and our poverty was their luxury. We are lucky in lots of ways in this country to have food security and relative economic stability.

Things could be better of course. I’ve been poor as an adult abs it’s relentless. But we have a wealth of opportunities compared to many.

@cookiemon666 same we have rented for 9 years had a brilliant landlord who never put the rent up now he is selling up. I haven't been served a section 21 yet but I know it's coming, feel constantly like a weight on my shoulders with it all. Rental properties round here are like gold dust I'm so so worried but I try to take a day at a time.

@musicforsmorks

Cash points that charge for withdrawals are most commonly found in deprived areas

That's honestly disgusting. What a world we live in, eh?
I have heard of the 'poor tax' and it just makes too much sense, unfortunately. It's strange though how people often attempt to paper over this and suggest poverty is always elf created. It reminds me of the Wellness obsession and it's associations with the concept that illness is a symbol of inner impurity.

Yep. I live in one of the most deprived areas of my town.

The nearest cash machine is in the corner shop and charges £1.75 to withdraw.

I’d have to walk a mile to get to a free one which doesn’t sound far but that trip there and back could take 30-40 minutes. That could mean leaving over an hour early in the morning to get cash out to pay for the bus.

Being poor costs a lot of money but it also costs a ridiculous amount of time where we could be EARNING money. Instead we’re walking or waiting for buses or walking to the cheap supermarket because you’ve only got a corner shop or a Coop really close.

There’s some above minimum wage jobs here but they require 2 buses to get too that could easily take 90 minutes or more if the roads are smooth reducing the hours you can work. This is especially hard if you need wrap around care so many locals here work locally in the lowest paid jobs because they can’t afford the time to travel or the extra earned in wages and cost of bus fare would mean the same take home pay as the lower paid job BUT the benefit top ups would be lower.

@nanbread

I was told I need to go through social services to use a food bank, I’ve never had any involvement with them and wouldn’t want to start. To think I was on £50,000 a year and holidaying in Barbados etc three times a year. It’s a long story but people, never take anything for granted.

I was the same in the past. It was horrible; if I think about it, I can still conjour up the hopeless feelings I had at that time and wouldn't want to go back. I do hope things improve for you, they did for me (us) eventually but for a significant amount of time - it was bad. Like some others here, I didn't have £50 (or the equivalent years ago), per month to save - or even spend!

@Mummy3788 I remember going to a posh place with rich mummy friends and spending all day there with a glass of water. But it didn’t bother me as I was there for the company.