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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children told about war in Russia in school

278 replies

ShepherdMoons · 28/02/2022 17:49

Dd is a sensitive soul in year 3 and today their class was told that people in Ukraine are having to leave their country with their pets for fear of being shot by Russians (this is the gist of what dd says). We haven't spoken about this at home.

AIBU to think the school shouldn't be talking to such young children about this?

OP posts:
aldilemonade · 28/02/2022 18:22

Sorry i think yabu.

I told my son who is in yr 4 what was going on before Russia even invaded Ukraine.

I prefer he heard what was really going on before hearing god only knows what in the playground.

At first he was a bit scared but we talked about it and we looked up how far way these countries are and what could possibly happen.

WorraLiberty · 28/02/2022 18:23

@ShepherdMoons

We are currently going through the process of getting dd diagnosed for autism so I'm not sure if this makes her more sensitive to hearing things. I also just don't feel she has the maturity to understand, aren't we just ripping away the innocence from our children? I get that adults need to help but how does a child of that age make sense of such a horrendous situation?
Look, the kids in the playground will know what's going on in the news even if your child doesn't.

Who would you rather her hear it from? Kids making it up as they go along or adult school teachers?

Karma1981 · 28/02/2022 18:23

I think its really important for children if school age to know what is happening (obviously in a child friendly way).
I wish I was spoken to about certain things as a young child rather then watching the news and being petrified.

User405 · 28/02/2022 18:24

If you think she's sensitive and if you think she's autistic you need to take control of the situation and talk to her about it yourself. Then she is already prepared when the Russia/Ukraine situation come up in school.

It's absolutely ridiculous and naive to think that schools are going to ignore this in KS2.

Sirzy · 28/02/2022 18:24

Having an atmosphere where children can speak about things like this and discuss worries is much better for them. Keeping things secret makes them taboo so children will hear things in the playground and turn it into a bigger issue.

My nephew is in year 2, he was worried the children wouldn’t have toys so he has donated some of his old toys to the local charity collection.

WitchWithoutChips · 28/02/2022 18:25

YABU. Juniors absolutely should have careful, age-appropriate discussion of the matter and frankly you should have already broached this at home.

BootyMcBoots · 28/02/2022 18:28

I'm sure at that age my dc were watching news round at school. We also spoke about big events at home as I didn't want them to learn about things in the playground

HeddaGarbled · 28/02/2022 18:28

We’ve progressed from ‘War on Russia’ (deleted thread from a couple of days ago on exactly the same subject) to ‘War in Russia’. Still wrong though.

Hopefully, the children now know where the war actually is and will be able to enlighten you.

Chloemol · 28/02/2022 18:29

It’s a current topic, kids will hear and talk about it even if you choose not to at home
Do you want your daughter to hear from the kids at school, or sensibly from teachers

OpheliaThrupps · 28/02/2022 18:29

@ShepherdMoons

Dd is a sensitive soul in year 3 and today their class was told that people in Ukraine are having to leave their country with their pets for fear of being shot by Russians (this is the gist of what dd says). We haven't spoken about this at home.

AIBU to think the school shouldn't be talking to such young children about this?

Yes, YABU
PepaMadrigal · 28/02/2022 18:30

Of course the school needs to talk to the children about the current situation in Ukraine. How on earth can children be expected to be able discuss, process and rationalise events as they grow up if they are not given the chance when young? To ignore it completely is doing them a massive disservice.

listsandbudgets · 28/02/2022 18:30

I've spoken about it with my 9 year old and he had quite a lot of questions including:

  • Would you shoot someone mum ?
  • Can we have some of the children to live with us?
  • Why is Russia so greedy they're really big with lots of empty bits they don't use so why can't they be happy with what they've got?
  • Would you steal a tank to get us over the border?
  • Where would we go if we were invaded?
  • Are incendiary devices a war crime?
Whatthechicken · 28/02/2022 18:30

I have been talking about it to my year one and year two children. I didn’t think we could avoid it, it was on the news, me and my husband are talking about it - so I was of the opinion that I should tell them, rather than them hearing awful things in the playground. Tried to tell them what’s going on in an age appropriate way without frightening them, we are very open and honest with our children though.

TokyoSushi · 28/02/2022 18:32

Mine are in Y4&6 they both talked about it today and found it really reassuring.

Blueeyedgirl21 · 28/02/2022 18:33

I’ve been told off by a parent for showing a cartoon based video in the general history of Ukraine/Russia aimed at 10-15 year olds to a group of 18yos today

I felt like saying they are old enough to be conscripted, I don’t think we should shelter them from the fact this entire thing exists!

I think as long as handled appropriately y3 is fine. When i was in y3 it was the war in Bosnia and I was very interested in what would happen to the children etc. I’m pretty sure we sent some clothes with some charity and I wasn’t sheltered from that.

Smartiepants79 · 28/02/2022 18:33

Unless you never let your child leave home and never let them watch TV or use the internet your cannot stop them learning about the wider world. The good and the bad.
It is then important that you make sure that they are informed properly. And not by Freddie in the playground who’s big sister saw it on tik tok.
They’ve probably been watching news round. Our year 3 class do so everyday.

Mapletreelane · 28/02/2022 18:33

It's war in Ukraine, not Russia.

pumpkinmash · 28/02/2022 18:34

@paddingtonsmarmalade1

Can I ask what age you think we should start talking about this kind of thing with our children? My twins have just turned 5 and in reception. I haven't told them anything at all yet, and my husband has vaguely mentioned a war in another country after they saw something on his phone.

After reading some of the comments I'm wondering if I should be telling them a bit.... but I wouldn't know where to start with making it age appropriate Confused

My DS is in year one and we spoke to him about one country threatening to go to war with another, giving him the names Russia and Ukraine. We didn't talk about pets and fathers being left behind, or people of colour being blocked from leaving the country - too much we felt.

But he did have questions that we've answered - like what weapons you use in war, and how long it will go on for, and how does someone win a war.

Meanwhile we've had a semi-threatening whatsapp from one of the parents in his class saying their son has not been told about it and that she trusts none of our kids will be talking about it at school... I'm not sure we can ever truly protect our kids like that - it doesn't do them favours in the long term, and kids do talk to each other. Better to introduce the topic ourselves I think.

ChampagneLassie · 28/02/2022 18:34

I find this such a weird reaction. We are safe. We are not in danger. We are incredibly lucky compared to the poor people of Ukraine who are explaining to their children why they are fleeing.

countrygirl99 · 28/02/2022 18:34

My eldest was a worrier, we realised when he was panicking about bush fires in Australia when he was 4, so we bought a globe and used that to talk to him about big events. It had the added benefit of improving his general knowledge about geography.

Blueeyedgirl21 · 28/02/2022 18:35

Sorry not Bosnia, I meant Kosovo. I vaguely remember the Balkan war though we had it on it our house and the news was never switched off in case we were disturbed, we just spoke about our worries

Anonymous48 · 28/02/2022 18:35

One of the worst parts about being a parent is having to destroy part of your children's innocence by telling them, in an age appropriate way, about bad things that are happening in the world. I remember having to sit down with my kids, who were still primary school aged, after there had been a horrendous school shooting in my country, to explain what had happened before they went to school the next day when it was surely going to be discussed. Nobody wants to have to have a conversation like that, but it is necessary unfortunately.

Ilostit · 28/02/2022 18:35

What should be said in an age appropriate way?

CaptainMyCaptain · 28/02/2022 18:36

@ineedsun

I’d be more concerned if they weren’t talking about it. This is important.
Agreed. Surely they will see news stories on TV or hear stories which are possibly wrong from other children. It is better that they get factual information.
Nanny0gg · 28/02/2022 18:36

And how many schools in this country have Eastern European pupils?

They can't ignore it