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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children told about war in Russia in school

278 replies

ShepherdMoons · 28/02/2022 17:49

Dd is a sensitive soul in year 3 and today their class was told that people in Ukraine are having to leave their country with their pets for fear of being shot by Russians (this is the gist of what dd says). We haven't spoken about this at home.

AIBU to think the school shouldn't be talking to such young children about this?

OP posts:
saleorbouy · 28/02/2022 22:01

Nothing wrong with telling the truth as long as there is someone to answer the inevitable questions after they have processed it.
My DC are aware of what is going on and we have explained it to them after they saw footage of families fleeing with a bag of belongings each. The school has collected essentials for the refugees and they were both very thoughtful picking items out to include in their basket.
It's hard to avoid them seeing images in this day and age so much better for them to gain some understanding of how secure their lives are compared to some children in the world.

I similarly remember the scene's of the QEII leaving with troops for the Falklands and asking my parents about it.

Original poster
ShepherdMoons · 28/02/2022 22:19

It is really devastating to see what is happening in Ukraine and I will do everything that I can to help them. Donating money and sending clothes and supplies.

To summarise though:

  • I came on here with a genuine AIBU but didn't expect to see so much hysteria. I've a lot of respect for the Ukrainian people. Very stoic in face of war. I think some of the women on here will have burned themselves with hysteria if the war does rage on though, really concerning. On another thread someone is now building a bunker.
  • I think my suggestion of using puppets wasn't as ridiculous as the nursery teacher who enacted 9/11 with toys for her 4 year olds. Why? Just why?
  • My dcs don't have access to the internet (another poster asked about this) so no access to information via social media. This is not because I am attempting to keep them in a 'bubble' as someone suggested. Rather that they are not exposed to a lot of inappropriate content. They don't have phones.
  • The only conversation I had with my dcs at bedtime this evening was about what they'd like on their pancakes tomorrow. I don't feel the need to offload my concerns about the war in Ukraine on to their shoulders because really that's what I'd be doing.

Finally, if this has taught me anything it is to not ask advice from hysterics.

OP posts:
cosmoK · 28/02/2022 22:26
  • I think my suggestion of using puppets wasn't as ridiculous as the nursery teacher who enacted 9/11 with toys for her 4 year olds. Why? Just why?

That's not what the post said though was it?

Nanny0gg · 28/02/2022 22:27

So, clearly, your DC hasn't been traumatised by what they've learned in school.

So, not so sure who the 'hysteric' is on here...

LouisRenault · 28/02/2022 22:30

I think my suggestion of using puppets wasn't as ridiculous as the nursery teacher who enacted 9/11 with toys for her 4 year olds.

Where did any nursery teacher say she had done that?

Wandamakesporridge · 28/02/2022 22:46

I don’t see any hysteria on here? Just parents having perfectly sensible conversations about the world with their children?

Also I have read the whole thread and no teacher enacted 9/11 with toys….

jytdtysrht · 28/02/2022 22:47

I think that basically our kids have to live in this world, there is no other. War is a horrible thing, every child needs to learn what happened (to people rather than countries) in the world wars and they need to understand that they must never happen again. Clearly Poutain missed this in his education. Since it's everywhere, your child probably needs to know some santised basics: Poutain is the leader of Russia, he wants to add another country to his kingdom. He is not a good man because he is using soldiers to do this with fighting when the other country wants to remain a country and not become part of Poutain's kingdom.

oncemoreunto · 28/02/2022 22:57

- I think my suggestion of using puppets wasn't as ridiculous as the nursery teacher who enacted 9/11 with toys for her 4 year olds. Why? Just why?

You haven't understood what was being said. Reread the post.

Talking to your dc isn't off loading your anxiety, it is checking on on them. Making sure they don't need to off load their anxieties.

I don't think I've read any hysterical posts on this thread.

Blueeyedgirl21 · 28/02/2022 23:29

I love that all the very sensible posts are hysterical and you are the only sane one OP

Jeepers!

ThanksItHasPockets · 28/02/2022 23:30

You have completely invented that, OP.

One poster said that she had to explain to her 3 year old why her father was unable to travel home from the USA due to 9/11.

A different poster said that as a nursery teacher she observed a child during independent play build a tower of blocks and crash a plane into them as a way of processing images he must have seen of the attack on the WTC.

But sure, you’re well informed and respondents on this thread are hysterical Hmm

Vanellopee · 01/03/2022 00:12

I think my suggestion of using puppets wasn't as ridiculous as the nursery teacher who enacted 9/11 with toys for her 4 year olds. Why? Just why?
Why are you making things up?

brainhurts · 01/03/2022 06:04

Well op if all your child was discussing at bed time was pancake topping I'm sure she's not scared for life after watching news-round , aimed at children, with any questions being answered by a teacher.
There is shielding your child and wrapping in cotton wool.

twominutesmore · 01/03/2022 06:14

It's a shame your child tried to talk to you about this and you missed the opportunity.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 01/03/2022 06:17

@twominutesmore

Could you be any more patronising?

AlexaShutUp · 01/03/2022 06:23

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@twominutesmore

Could you be any more patronising?[/quote]
She's right though.

Neenawneenaw76 · 01/03/2022 06:24

Of course they should be learning about it in school, it's a war, in Europe 🙄🙄🙄 FFS

LoudSnoringDog · 01/03/2022 06:53

Dd is also in year 3. She is very aware of what is going on in the world. I don't think shielding children is helpful in the longer term.

I've not seen any hysterical responses on here btw

Sirzy · 01/03/2022 07:12

So your still believing your right and everyone else is wrong!

Of course you don’t offload your own concerns onto your child! What you actually should do is explain to them in a way they can understand, listen to their concerns and help them off load them onto you.

By creating an atmosphere whereby you keep your head in the sand and don’t have open discussions about the wider world you are at risk of creating an environment whereby your child can’t talk to you about worries because they don’t know how. This is a much more damaging approach.

poshme · 01/03/2022 07:31

My sons school they watched newsround. Which normally I'd be in favour of. But my sons best friend has a Russian parent. They're 8. So the half-Russian child got quite upset, and lots of kids were asking him if he was on the Russian side of the Ukraine/UK side.

Really not helpful at all. My child knows we have no disagreement with the Russian people, and I've encouraged him to support his friend.

londonrach · 01/03/2022 07:42

Yabu. My five year been asking about it. We've been carefully answering her questions. I'm pleased as the school is answering questions...in fact we've been sent links to child friendly news.

CaptainMyCaptain · 01/03/2022 07:44

I think my suggestion of using puppets wasn't as ridiculous as the nursery teacher who enacted 9/11 with toys for her 4 year olds. Why? Just why?
That is not what happened. I observed the child doing it. I didn't engage him in conversation I just let him work through his thoughts using the bricks. My point was that he was aware of what was happening in the news.

I have also (in the 90s) seen Nursery children play at 'queueing for petrol' on their bikes outside. They notice what is happening around them and use it in their play.

VitalsStable · 01/03/2022 08:21

Better that you control the narrative around issues that your child will be exposed to be it war or sex (for example) than their peers, who may be hysterical or uneducated about things.

There is a good weekly magazine you can buy for your child aimed at 8-11 year olds called The Week. It covers current affairs in a way which explains issues in an age appropriate manner.

My DD is 8. Quite sensitive and very inquisitive. She's been asking questions which we have answered honestly but in an age appropriate manner. Some of the questions are ones such as are we going to get bombed? Is daddy going to have to go to war? (Age and bad knees precludes that thankfully if it came to it!) and Why is the Russian man so horrid?

She's found the answers very interesting and asked if you can study this at school or university (where her siblings are). Just explain things to your children, they'll be far more alarmed by the hysteria and misinformation they'll get from their peers than by you, their parent who they'll hopefully trust to be honest because that's your stance on things rather than trying to keep them sheltered from what is sadly the reality of todays world.

ThanksItHasPockets · 01/03/2022 09:22

I second the recommendation for a children's newspaper but make sure that you get The Week Junior. The Week is aimed at adults. The other good option is First News. Most primary schools subscribe to one or the other so your child's school may well have some back issues you can borrow to have a look at.

SartresSoul · 01/03/2022 09:44

Year 3 is 7-8 years old, right? They’re old enough to know some basic facts about it. They will hear adults or other children talking about it anyway so it’s better hearing some facts from a trusted adult.

ddl1 · 01/03/2022 14:03

With regard to the 9-11 example: 1 remember that the day after the Bay Bridge collapse in 1989, a 6-year-old said to me, 'Did you hear what happened in San Francisco?' and proceeded to make a bridge with blocks, and then push it apart. so that it collapsed. Totally unprompted, though had obviously seen footage on TV.

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