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AIBU?

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Original poster

DP eating everyone else's snacks

301 replies

DonnyBurrito · 28/02/2022 12:10

DP has a habit of eating other people's snacks. To be honest he doesn't respect that things can belong to other people in general, and feels entitled to use/borrow other people's stuff until it's either broke, lost or damaged because he's held onto it for so long, or used it well past it's shelf life. That kind of stuff is a bit of a pattern, although it's more infrequent than his snack theft.

He has habit of eating a full pack of biscuits, then rooting around in the cupboard for mine or his daughters snacks/sweets and then eating them, too. I don't eat a full bar of chocolate or pack of biscuits in one sitting like him, I tend to just have a bit here and there when I really fancy it. His daughter is only here at weekend and she isn't allowed to scoff entire packs of haribo anyway, but when she comes back the next weekend all of her sweets will have been eaten. He ate all her Christmas chocolate, too. He said it's too hard not to eat everyone else's stuff when it's just sitting there in the cupboard...

So anyway, last night I went to the shop and treated myself to a bar of chocolate, and bought him some of those chocolate pretzels. He finished his pretzels almost immediately, and then asked me if he could have a strip of my chocolate. I said no (because once I give him a bit of whatever I have he decides we are sharing the whole thing and eats at least half of it, when I actually didn't want to share the whole thing or at all). I said no anyway, and then went to bed.

Came downstairs this morning, he'd opened my bar of chocolate and had a couple of strips off it. I was SO ANNOYED. I decided to find something of his that he enjoys and would look forward to, and just chuck it away. Obviously there was nothing in the cupboards or fridge of his cause he eats everything straight away!

So I threw his pack of cigs away. He's been trying to quit smoking, but occasionally has one in the garage late at night here and there. He's promised not to buy any, and hasn't for quite a while (mainly because he can't afford to), but his friend gave him half a pack a few days ago. The bin men were coming this morning so I fed them to the wheelie bin. He has noticed, but he thinks I've just thrown them away to help him quit. Decided not to come clean about the actual reason I chucked his cigs away, and kept my petty revenge secret.

Do I need to chill out about this? Or would you be annoyed at this constant snack thievery?

OP posts:
00100001 · 28/02/2022 12:13

Lockable tuck boxes

Fuzzy303 · 28/02/2022 12:13

I have a DH who raids the fridge & usually ends up eating dinner ingredients

00100001 · 28/02/2022 12:14

and call him out on it EVERY SINGLE TIME

00100001 · 28/02/2022 12:14

@Fuzzy303

I have a DH who raids the fridge & usually ends up eating dinner ingredients
So stop making him dinner - if he asks why, tell him it's because he ate the dinner food.
CornishGem1975 · 28/02/2022 12:14

You probably do need to chill out a bit as in the scheme of things it's not a big deal BUT

This kind of shit boils my piss so I am with you.

I buy snacks for myself, sometimes for my DC when they're here. If I put them in the kitchen my DH will give them to his kids. This is despite there being a ton of other snacks that they like. It's like anything I buy has a flashing EAT ME sign on it. He thinks it should be a free for all and thinks I am unreasonable, I think if I've got off my arse to go to the shop to buy something I want for myself then I should be able to reasonably expect it to still be there! The same goes if I buy my kids their favourite treat - they've learned to take it to their rooms now!

CheshireChat · 28/02/2022 12:15

Setup a separate area for his snacks.

But honestly, this is so unhealthy for children though as they feel like they need to finish their treats rather than save a bit for later so you really need to nip this in the bud. So openly tell him it's unacceptable.

CornishGem1975 · 28/02/2022 12:16

@Fuzzy303

I have a DH who raids the fridge & usually ends up eating dinner ingredients
That drives me mad. I've had to say - don't take anything without checking with me. I feel like the fridge police but for instance, I'll buy a pack of chicken breasts as I'm specifically making a curry or something...he'll come home and cook them for his kid's tea without even considering I actually had a plan for them. Nope, I just buy food for the craic.
midlifecrash · 28/02/2022 12:16

Lockable TRANSPARENT tuck boxes so he can see what’s inside but NOT HAVE ANY

KindlyKanga · 28/02/2022 12:16

I hate this. Absolutely hate it when my DH thinks he is more important than me so can't stop himself. So greedy. Anyway I hide it in a secret place now. Wish I didn't have to but he has no self control.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 28/02/2022 12:20

I wouldn't have any snacks at all in the house. I'd take SD out for treats and get myself things whilst out, then I'd rather bin any leftovers than have some wild boar snorting around.

It'll be like giving up smoking. He's trying to displace the feeling of not having a cigarette into stealing a child's sweets. He won't break the habit completely unless he goes cold turkey on sweets, too. No beer, either. Or crisps.

After all, the Mormons use a similar principle.

You could even ban him from caffeine, too. Although that might be a little bit too evil for some of us.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 28/02/2022 12:23

DH does this...so I send him back to the shop to replace whatever he's eaten.
If I specifically tell him not to eat or touch something then he won't, but sometimes I know if I buy family biscuits for the biccy tin that I probably won't get one.

Both DH and DS are proper snackers whereas I would rather have bigger meals.

WorraLiberty · 28/02/2022 12:25

I couldn't live with a greedy selfish person in the house but not telling him about the fags will have no effect whatsoever if he doesn't know why you did it.

He's just going to go out and spend another £10/£11 on a pack and spin you another yarn about being 'given' them.

Riseholme · 28/02/2022 12:33

Lock your snacks in the boot of your car.
I put the Christmas sweets in the boot partly to stop me opening them early.

2catsandhappy · 28/02/2022 12:40

Get him some worming treatment.

Get yourself a lockable box. Maybe a lockable box for dsd too.

WomanStanleyWoman · 28/02/2022 12:42

Bake a cake with a full jar of chilli powder in it. When the greedy fucker cuts himself a big slice without thinking of anyone else, he’ll get what’s coming as soon as he bites into it.

robovac · 28/02/2022 12:43

Does the weekly food shop buy enough? Say if he generally goes through 3 packs of biscuits a week but the family grocery only buy one. Then seems logical to go after other family member's "ration".
God it's like disciplining a child.

affairsofdragons · 28/02/2022 12:43

Lock boxes for you and your children.

itsnotdeep · 28/02/2022 12:45

I'd hate this, but as you say it's part of a larger problem that he has of not respecting other people's possessions.

Dunno. It makes me even less keen on living with a man ever again tbh

grapewines · 28/02/2022 12:46

Greedy bastard. This would annoy me so much.

Sweetlikejollof · 28/02/2022 12:48

@CornishGem1975

You probably do need to chill out a bit as in the scheme of things it's not a big deal BUT

This kind of shit boils my piss so I am with you.

I buy snacks for myself, sometimes for my DC when they're here. If I put them in the kitchen my DH will give them to his kids. This is despite there being a ton of other snacks that they like. It's like anything I buy has a flashing EAT ME sign on it. He thinks it should be a free for all and thinks I am unreasonable, I think if I've got off my arse to go to the shop to buy something I want for myself then I should be able to reasonably expect it to still be there! The same goes if I buy my kids their favourite treat - they've learned to take it to their rooms now!

I don’t understand this. Have you had a conversation about this and told him to stop? Your kids are having to hide their treats from your partner - you can’t think that’s okay?
Sweetlikejollof · 28/02/2022 12:50

All these workarounds and lock boxes and petty revenges…have an adult conversation with your husband?

You’re not happy about his attitude towards others’ possessions. Have you told him this? What does he say? Is he required to replace the things he uses up and/or breaks? If not, why not?

TheChronicalTales · 28/02/2022 12:57

This is one of those things that really, really grates on me to the point where I have violent thoughts. Then they blame you for being angry because “it’s only a bit of food that’s replaceable” or make out that you’re the greedy one for not sharing! That’s not the point, he’s a greedy bastard and he’s telling you he deems himself more important than you by eating something that belongs to you. I broke up with my ex because he had the habit of helping himself to my things.

If he was in the office and his boss had some snacks in there would he help himself to those? Of course he wouldn’t. So He said it's too hard not to eat everyone else's stuff when it's just sitting there in the cupboard... really means that he doesn’t respect that it’s yours and doesn’t care, he’s going to help himself anyway.

I second lockable, transparent boxes. If he wants to behave like a greedy child then he should be treated like one. You need to call him out on it, every single time. Make him explain why he thinks it’s okay. Like really spell it out to you why he took it after you said no so he can see how rude it is.

ElliotGoss · 28/02/2022 12:57

My stepdad was like this and is has really spoilt my relationship with food. Like someone said above its because he thought he was more important than us and we could literally eat his crumbs.

WorraLiberty · 28/02/2022 12:58

No way would I stay in a house where I had to teach my kids to either hide their food, lock it away or eat it before someone else does.

The problem lies with the person doing the taking/stealing/whatever you want to call it. They need to sort themselves out and stop making their problem everyone else's.