To smack 20mth old for scratching me first?

[yankey]

My dd gets frustrated (like them all I imagine), however when she is annoyed at me for changing her nappy or getting her dressed etc when she doesn't want to she starts to dig her nails into my hands and angrily scratch me. I now have about 7 or 8 small scabs on my hands. Now I always said I wouldn't hit my dd but if she hits or scratches first I think that is different. Only thing is I am not sure if this is the best way of dealing with this unacceptable behaviour. Advise (without insults or ridicule from the 'holier then though's) much appreciated.

tbh, I think all you will do is teach her to hit. And I do smack my children, but not in this sort of circs. More like when they are wildly over-excited.
I would try something a bit more creative, like tell her she's got to wear mittens if she scratches.

I think the point YABU is clear enough!

Just wanted to add, my DS is 19 months and has completely understood the naughty mat since 17 months. We only started with 15 seconds but he understands that unwanted behaviour = being ignored. Being good = attention. Now all I have to do is give the look and at most start counting. I very rarely get to 3 and therefore the mat. So I don't think your DD would necessarily be too young.

i think posting this on AIBU and the wording was a mistake, unless of course you are trying to be provocative.

My experience is, dont do anything she will grow out of is. Ive tried tapping bottoms, not effective, never smacked so that it would hurt though, but i think it is counter productive and at that age may even destroy some trust.

I dont think a 20 m old has a concept of being ignored, does it?? Honestly not sure...so just ignore the behaviour, not the child. As they get older the naughty step is ok but my DD is 2.5 and tbh she just views the naughty step as a game. I wonder if it is more effective as they get older OR if there are other siblings as they feel they are missing out, otherwise its just a way of interacting with mum again.