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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How to tactfully handle people saying it's a lovely day to take the kids out?

148 replies

Jvg33 · 27/02/2022 11:29

I have two children under two. I take my kids out usually 6/7 days and sometimes 7/7 days. I'm on maternity leave. As soon as the sun is shining they say how lovely it is to take the kids out and ask me what we have done today. I would really love to say back -what a lovely day for YOU to take my kids out today. I'm literally fed up of going out every single day. I just want to stay in for once.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jvg33 · 27/02/2022 11:30

Relatives are the ones texting me etc about it

OP posts:
Catsbythefireside · 27/02/2022 11:31

DH went through a stage of this last summer - constantly asking me what my plans were and it got really annoying and I did start to feel pushed out of my own home a bit - YANBU!

NoSquirrels · 27/02/2022 11:31

Aren’t they just making conversation? Can’t you just say “We went to the park yesterday but today we’re not up to much”. Do you think they’ll judge you?

Invasionofthegutsnatchers · 27/02/2022 11:31

Suggest it and see what they say. Do you feel you need a break? It's OK to ask for help.

Mmmmdanone · 27/02/2022 11:32

Just say that. They can always so no! I take it you're a bit frazzled!

Mmmmdanone · 27/02/2022 11:32

*say no

RedskyThisNight · 27/02/2022 11:32

I've read your post twice and don't really see the problem? Go out if you want to and stay in if you don't. With 2 children under 2, you are the one in charge! Relatives are only making conversation. They would be equally happy with a reply that you decided to stay in for once and build a den in the living room.

AlexaShutUp · 27/02/2022 11:33

What? Why don't you just stay at home some days if you don't want to go out? If people text you saying it's a lovely day to take them out, just say yes it is a lovely day but we've decided to stay at home today. You're not compelled to go out unless you want to!

Aderyn21 · 27/02/2022 11:33

Ignore the texts. Or just tell them you are having a quiet day - kids need downtime as well as activity.

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 27/02/2022 11:33

Why don't you just text back asking that they take them out so you can do some jobs around the house that needs doing. You can't expect people to mind read. If not just say we've been out all week and just chilling at home today.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/02/2022 11:33

Yanbu. I once popped into my Mums at 8.30am on the way somewhere (she rises at 6!), and as soon as we walked through the door "have you been anywhere nice this morning?"

Err....the kettle.

NoSquirrels · 27/02/2022 11:35

Or do you mean that they’re inviting you out to do something and you don’t want to go?

Catsbythefireside · 27/02/2022 11:36

Do you get accused of wasting the day @BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz? Grin

radiocity · 27/02/2022 11:39

I had two under two and if we didn't go out everyday, most days twice a day, they'd be climbing the walls.

dreamygirl25 · 27/02/2022 11:39

You should say 'ah it's a lovely day yes, thank you they'd love you to take them out. Perfect as I need to hang out washing! We haven't been anywhere yet so they've got lots of energy to burn. Shall I pack them a lunch or have you got that sorted?'

It's sooo hard going out with two by yourself. Hard to keep them safe on roads especially if you have a bolter who won't go in a sling and no double buggy!

Liveandkicking · 27/02/2022 11:40

Do what you want. If relatives text just say “nice to have sunshine, how are you?”. They don’t have some sort of right to your whereabouts.

Sparklingbrook · 27/02/2022 11:42

I have had a text this morning from a friend who is in work (I'm not) telling me to 'enjoy the sunshine'.
So I am sitting on the sofa by the window in my dressing gown drinking coffee. Grin

Rubyupbeat · 27/02/2022 11:42

It's only conversation, they are not pressuring you.

NuffSaidSam · 27/02/2022 11:42

It sounds like they're just making small talk/reaching out, not demanding that you take your DC out 7 days a week.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/02/2022 11:43

@Catsbythefireside

Do you get accused of wasting the day *@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz*? Grin
Always.
AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 27/02/2022 11:43

I don't really understand. Why does someone remarking on the weather mean you need to do anything?

How does it come about that so many people are saying this anyway, how many conversations like that does one person have in a day?

Neurodiversitydoctor · 27/02/2022 11:43

I think young children (well everyone really) needs to leave the house at least once a day for general health and well being. I suppose the caveat would be if you had an enormous garden.

Eileen101 · 27/02/2022 11:43

My in laws are a bit like this - kids should be outside all the time or some such.

"Well they had a lovely time on our long walk yesterday and are a bit tired today. X is snuggled up to me listening to stories and we're going to do some baking later and catch up on some jobs".

bobsholi · 27/02/2022 11:43

I take my 3 out every single day, but I've mentioned how lovely it is to take them out today because it is the first nice day we've had in months! I'm enjoying not being poured on, swept away with the wind or being knee deep in mud. Sadly I don't get a jot of help even though I would like to stay in too sometimes.

Sfumato · 27/02/2022 11:44

You seem to be confusing two issues. One —they’re your children. Take them out or stay in as you see fit, regardless of the weather. Two, if you want someone else to take your children out, ask them, bearing in mind that most people aren’t on maternity leave, so a weekday morning won’t work for them, regardless of weather.