Page 4 | How to tactfully handle people saying it's a lovely day to take the kids out?

Original poster

Jvg33 · 27/02/2022 12:38

You are lucky. My youngest would stay in happily. My eldest wants to always be doing activities.

OP posts:

GirlOfTudor · 27/02/2022 12:40

Is this really an issue? I can't imagine you have tons of people texting you every time the suns out to enquire about your plans?
Here are 2 simple solutions: 1) you aren't required to respond to anyone's communications - so don't! 2) Just say you're not going anywhere today.
Done.

GirlOfTudor · 27/02/2022 12:43

I sugget you contact this relative less. You aren't required to have anyone in your life, or your children's lives, who brings a negative atmosphere.

user1471554720 · 27/02/2022 12:43

Why don't you say, well I took them out for the past 5 consecutive days. People may not realise that you are taking them out nearly every day.

People may have older dcs, be at home while dcs at school and may not realise how busy it is with toddlers.

Well meaning people sometimes ask what I did at the weekend, with the expectation that we are gping to parties, on trips away etc. I work the 5 days and have primary dcs. By the time the housework, decluttering, food shopping, dcs activities are done there is very little time to relax. We may fit in a walk just so we have something to say, when people are asking.

rainbowdaz · 27/02/2022 12:44

@GirlOfTudor

I sugget you contact this relative less. You aren't required to have anyone in your life, or your children's lives, who brings a negative atmosphere.

...

Mojoj · 27/02/2022 12:44

I don't understand. Why do you care? Do what you want - they're your kids.

Hawkins001 · 27/02/2022 12:45

@Jvg33

I have two children under two. I take my kids out usually 6/7 days and sometimes 7/7 days. I'm on maternity leave. As soon as the sun is shining they say how lovely it is to take the kids out and ask me what we have done today. I would really love to say back -what a lovely day for YOU to take my kids out today. I'm literally fed up of going out every single day. I just want to stay in for once.

To be more productive and to further their education, they have been learning x lessons on different topics etc

SpaghettiNotCourgetti · 27/02/2022 12:45

Are you sure they're not sympathising? As in, an implied 'Oh, well - at least it's a nice day to take the kids out [as opposed to a horrible, shitty one]'?

CanIPullYouForAChat · 27/02/2022 12:46

I totally get this. My DM is exactly the same, she thinks you should go out every day no matter what. Doesn’t matter if you’re ill, the kids are ill, it’s pissing down or whatever.

Whenever one of mine is ill, she’s always saying I should get them out and about for “fresh air”. He has a temp of 39 and has spent the day laying on the sofa refusing to eat, mum! I’m not taking him out for a “run around”!

CanIPullYouForAChat · 27/02/2022 12:50

Those of you who had DMs like this with a very “get the kids out” mindset, do you have horrible memories of being forced out of the house every day? I spent my entire childhood being dragged around dull shops and forced out even if I was poorly. I remember being in town once with tonsillitis when I was around 10, feeling absolutely dreadful and I really should have been in bed! Now as an adult I really appreciate cosy at home days, and never take the kids out if they are under the weather unless it’s necessary (doctors, pharmacy etc).

Bromse · 27/02/2022 12:52

Blimey, it's a bit much people actually texting you about this. Do they not have anything better to do? You take your children out more than most. Just ignore them.

katepilar · 27/02/2022 12:54

I think at least some of the people are just trying to be nice and have a chat. Hope you are not surrounded by people who judge you and tell you what to do. Motherhood is hard.

CaptainMerica · 27/02/2022 12:54

YANBU. When my MIL texts me things like that, I feel like she is saying "are you getting the kids out, and not sitting on your lazy arse while they watch YouTube?".

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/02/2022 12:57

@CanIPullYouForAChat

Those of you who had DMs like this with a very “get the kids out” mindset, do you have horrible memories of being forced out of the house every day? I spent my entire childhood being dragged around dull shops and forced out even if I was poorly. I remember being in town once with tonsillitis when I was around 10, feeling absolutely dreadful and I really should have been in bed! Now as an adult I really appreciate cosy at home days, and never take the kids out if they are under the weather unless it’s necessary (doctors, pharmacy etc).

Yup. There was one place we were taken relentlessly every Sunday which just became synonymous with the Sunday night return to school blues.

It took me a long time to bear taking my own dc there as the feeling just kept flooding back.

Never any real time to just play with my toys.

Cocycola · 27/02/2022 13:05

I take my kids out and recognise that getting out in the fresh air is important, however this mentality, mainly among older relatives, that if it is a nice day, you HAVE to go out with them is very irritating. It only adds extra pressure where there needn't be. If you are too tired for one day, I am quite sure your kids will be just fine not going out. It won't kill them so don't listen to anyone who makes you feel pressured.

JenniferBarkley · 27/02/2022 13:10

Does she not just mean "at least it's a nice day so you can get out easily rather than choose between going stir crazy indoors or pushing the swing in the rain, again"? Most people with young children prefer getting out, it's a very long day when you can't.

I have two small children, we have no family support and I find it tough going at times and I would definitely say that to a friend in the same boat.

Peanutbuttercupisyum · 27/02/2022 13:11

I think most people need to leave the house once a day!!
I’ve never done a whole day in! The kids would be restless, the house would be a mess and I’d have a headache from no fresh air.
That aside, it’s not up to your relatives how you spend your time

Nanny0gg · 27/02/2022 13:14

Only on MN!!

My poor children were definitely not taken out everyday. And, shock, horror! We didn't always do crafting or baking or whatever either.

I just let them play...

mizzo · 27/02/2022 13:16

Often on Sundays we have a steady stream of in laws 'popping in' asking what were up to, to which I'd like to say nothing now because we've been entertaining you all day

BusinessMindThoughts · 27/02/2022 13:19

I'm with you op. When mine were very young I saw it as the mark of a good day if I hadn't had to leave the house. Was knackered all the time and getting out with then was better in terms of making time go faster but I never got a chance to potter at homec with no pressure.

Now they're older and I'm well rested I'm the one trying to get everyone out for a walk!

mizzo · 27/02/2022 13:19

@Peanutbuttercupisyum

I think most people need to leave the house once a day!! I’ve never done a whole day in! The kids would be restless, the house would be a mess and I’d have a headache from no fresh air. That aside, it’s not up to your relatives how you spend your time

We're having a day around the house but still getting fresh air in the garden, the children have been playing out, the house is a bit messy but it'll be clear by bedtime

DrFoxtrot · 27/02/2022 13:20

I realise everyone is different but 'the must get out of the house' mentality baffles me. I guess it's what you're used to. As children we did have days out and visits to relatives etc but we also had plenty of time at home just playing and it felt very relaxing.

Marvellousmadness · 27/02/2022 13:21

Sounds like the "2 under 2" is getting to you

BusinessMindThoughts · 27/02/2022 13:23

@DrFoxtrot

I realise everyone is different but 'the must get out of the house' mentality baffles me. I guess it's what you're used to. As children we did have days out and visits to relatives etc but we also had plenty of time at home just playing and it felt very relaxing.

There was definitely a period of about 6 months where I had to trundle dc1 around in a pram to get him to nap in the afternoon and therefore get to sleep at a decent time in the evening without hours of screaming!

When they're old enough to actually play, it's a bit different. Still need to burn off energy, i find, even when my non-sporty dc was a toddler.

GatoradeMeBitch · 27/02/2022 13:26

Just lie to them?

"Lovely day to take the kids out Jvg!"

"Yeah, we just got back from a walk, knackered now!"

No-one's going to get you to swear on a stack of bibles, and unless they have your house under surveillance they don't know what you're doing. Just brush them off with a lie then go back to napping on the sofa. I'd rather lie to people than jump through hoops to impress them when they're not even there.