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AIBU?

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Original poster

How to tactfully handle people saying it's a lovely day to take the kids out?

148 replies

Jvg33 · 27/02/2022 11:29

I have two children under two. I take my kids out usually 6/7 days and sometimes 7/7 days. I'm on maternity leave. As soon as the sun is shining they say how lovely it is to take the kids out and ask me what we have done today. I would really love to say back -what a lovely day for YOU to take my kids out today. I'm literally fed up of going out every single day. I just want to stay in for once.

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/02/2022 12:08

The correct thing to do is not ask a parent this at 8.30am

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/02/2022 12:08

Or ever.

LimeSegment · 27/02/2022 12:10

Weather is the most common and basic form of small talk available. Just reply "yes it's lovely today".

DiddyHeck · 27/02/2022 12:10

I was texting a relative how tired I was today and she replied with what a lovely day it it to take the kids out.

It is though, so what's wrong with her saying it? It doesn't mean she's going to send an army to your house to press gang you.

stuntbubbles · 27/02/2022 12:11

@Jvg33

Relatives are the ones texting me etc about it
If it’s texts: mute mute mute. Just because someone texts you doesn’t mean you have to read it or reply to it.
TheYearOfSmallThings · 27/02/2022 12:12

We haven't had enough nice days recently for this to be much of an issue, surely? Just say "We might go to the park later".

For the person whose DH was asking her every morning what her plans were (presumably wanting to WFH undisturbed) I would find that much more annoying, because it genuinely suggests she should not be in her own home.

Moody123 · 27/02/2022 12:12

I think people comment to make conversation .. i would just put, ah yes I went to xyz yesterday but having a movie day today , what about you?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/02/2022 12:14

Reply to someone who say their tired with the suggestion they take their own kids out for the day is rude.

1300cakes · 27/02/2022 12:15

I really wish it were that simple. My nearly two year old is already going stir crazy even after letting them out in the garden and setting up some messy play for them

Not sure what the issue is. You often take your kids out and believe that it's generally a good idea most days. Your relative knows this so makes conversation by asking about it.

Its not like they are texting you "so did you go to the gym today" knowing full well you hate gyms and would never go to one.

Thirkettle · 27/02/2022 12:17

I would just ignore relatives.

If it was a partner I'd tell him he knows where the door is and the shoes are.

But if it's just nosy aunts and mothers, ignore them. Block. Turn phone off. Or just stand up for yourself.

RonCarlos · 27/02/2022 12:18

I get fed up of this too OP. I went out on five grey/rainy days out of six and am currently sat in my dressing gown happily wasting the day Smile

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/02/2022 12:20

You’re being unnecessarily chippy. Probably because you’re tired. They haven’t done anything wrong. The better weather has brightened my mood loads. We go out everyday bar red warning storms and it’s an awful lot nicer when it’s like this rather than raining, hailing or blowing a bloody gale.

If you need help then ask for it but no one is obliged to taus your kids out, ever, least of all because they’ve had the temerity to remark on the long-awaited sunshine.

TheMagpie · 27/02/2022 12:21

How are actual adults this sensitive? All the passive-aggressive silly suggestions. Ugh. If someone responded to my interest in their day with 'ok, you can take my child for the afternoon', I'd likely not talk to them for a while.

They're just making conversation. It's not that deep. Hmm

Jessica60 · 27/02/2022 12:25

Just say "is that an offer for you to take my kids out, thank you, yes please"

pussycatunpickingcrossesagain · 27/02/2022 12:25

I was texting a relative how tired I was today and she replied with what a lovely day it it to take the kids out.

Reply with "What time do you want to pick them up?"

me4real · 27/02/2022 12:26

@Jvg33 Could their father taken them out on two of the seven days?

me4real · 27/02/2022 12:26

Assuming he works for five.

caranations · 27/02/2022 12:27

Just text back: "Yes, it is a lovely day, isn't it? What are you up to - gardening? You must have so much to do out there".

Grin
HermioneGrangersHair · 27/02/2022 12:28

@radiocity

I had two under two and if we didn't go out everyday, most days twice a day, they'd be climbing the walls.
That’s not the point if the thread @radiocity OP doesn’t want to/she’s not you.
godmum56 · 27/02/2022 12:28

@Neurodiversitydoctor

I think young children (well everyone really) needs to leave the house at least once a day for general health and well being. I suppose the caveat would be if you had an enormous garden.
excepting the young children (no experience there) I think you are wrong!
AnneLovesGilbert · 27/02/2022 12:30

@Jessica60

Just say "is that an offer for you to take my kids out, thank you, yes please"
Only if she doesn’t want to hear from them again. Why on Earth would they want to do that?
Fairislefandango · 27/02/2022 12:30

Just be polite - they're only making conversation. "Yes it's a beautiful day" would be a good response. You don't need to express enthusiasm about going out if you don't want to.

Original poster
Jvg33 · 27/02/2022 12:33

[quote me4real]@Jvg33 Could their father taken them out on two of the seven days?[/quote]
He went out with us yesterday. He is as tired as me. He had to lay with the toddler last night until 10pm as he screamed when he left the room. We are currently battling it together. It's been a tough week. A different relative came over yesterday and insinuated that my husband was a bad father. I'm tired of relatives judgment when they don't actually help out or play with them when they are over. They have no idea

OP posts:
Cocomarine · 27/02/2022 12:34

What an odd thing to get bothered over!
It’s a nice day to take kids out, yes. So go or don’t go. You don’t need a tactful strategy! And it’s certainly not your relative’s job to take them. And taking kids out when you’re tired is better for you in the sunshine, generally, than in the pissing rain - so it’s not an odd comment.

NoWordForFluffy · 27/02/2022 12:34

@radiocity

I had two under two and if we didn't go out everyday, most days twice a day, they'd be climbing the walls.
I had two under two and didn't have this problem. Mine loved staying in, racing round the house!