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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How to tactfully handle people saying it's a lovely day to take the kids out?

148 replies

Jvg33 · 27/02/2022 11:29

I have two children under two. I take my kids out usually 6/7 days and sometimes 7/7 days. I'm on maternity leave. As soon as the sun is shining they say how lovely it is to take the kids out and ask me what we have done today. I would really love to say back -what a lovely day for YOU to take my kids out today. I'm literally fed up of going out every single day. I just want to stay in for once.

OP posts:
Kitkat151 · 27/02/2022 11:44

People are making conversation....you are making dramas where there are none🙄

SweatyPie · 27/02/2022 11:44

I'm confused why you're upset, if you take them out all week as you say.

Also, it's benign small talk. Not worth making updating look like a prick by confronting people over. Just say your having a day in for a change.

Iamkmackered1979 · 27/02/2022 11:47

Just tell them you are having a day at home and you might play in the garden or kids are tired from the day out yesterday and need a relaxing day in as you’ve stuff to catch up on.
Or don’t explain at all. I have 4 and it was a military operation getting them out sometimes.
You take them out when it suits you. Reply yes it is have a nice day
Your relatives are rude imo you could say they could take the kids for a walk so you can get stuff done (or sleep) if they so wish. Don’t feel you need to justify your choices to anyone

Ohyesiam · 27/02/2022 11:51

Say “ I’m tired, do you want to take them out?”
They are probably just making conversation so will back down

HappyDays40 · 27/02/2022 11:54

Not sure what your AIBU is. If you want people to look after your kids then say so. Its bloody hard work entertaining them but not sure why you are irritated by someone telling you it's a nice day to take them outConfused

Howshouldibehave · 27/02/2022 11:56

What a bizarre post about people making conversation!

Just because it’s a nice day to go out, doesn’t mean they want to look after your kids!

DiddyHeck · 27/02/2022 11:56

Another one who doesn't understand your post, especially as you say you take them out almost every day anyway??

SlashBeef · 27/02/2022 11:57

I'm confused about this one Confused

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 27/02/2022 11:57

I don’t think days in with young kids are every enjoyable or relaxing- not unreasonable question, I think it’s you not them Op

FangsForTheMemory · 27/02/2022 11:57

My father used to come in from work and bitch about us being indoors 'on a lovely day like this'. Outdoors was full of scratchy grass and biting insects. Why shouldn't we stay indoors. I am now a very outdoors person so long as it's not pouring with rain or snow, but kids have definite comfort zones.

A580Hojas · 27/02/2022 11:58

What a non-issue.

MrsWooster · 27/02/2022 11:59

To which the only possible answer is:
“What a lovely idea; I’ll have them suited and booted for you to collect in 30 minutes.”

enjoyingscience · 27/02/2022 11:59

This is not even close to being an issue. Why are you being a martyr?

itsgettingweird · 27/02/2022 12:01

People tend to say this to anyone and everyone when the suns shining.

People ask me what I've been up to and if I've got out and enjoyed the sunshine.

I've got a teen who is a swimmer.

So I'm more than happy to tell them the weathers been lovely - but I've enjoyed laying in the sofa, MNing reading and doing nothing for a day - and having all the windows open.

Just do the same.

GreyBird84 · 27/02/2022 12:01

I get what you are saying - I don’t believe they mean in any harm in what they are saying to you but you are on the defensive because you would love a break.

I feel like that too when I’m asked about my day / plans etc. You feel like they are judging you & you feel the need for a helping hand a without having to ask for it.

I have 2 with Sen & I keep them alive. Anything else is a bonus.

SheWoreYellow · 27/02/2022 12:02

Are they worried that you don’t take them out much? I used to find it was a very long day if we didn’t even walk round the block, even though it took longer to get ready than we were actually out.

SweatyPie · 27/02/2022 12:03

@enjoyingscience

This is not even close to being an issue. Why are you being a martyr?

So true. I would dread waking up in the motioning if I had to go out every day of the week. If it's so awful and you want relatives to help do it, why bother! It's ok to stay indoors

AchillesPoirot · 27/02/2022 12:03

I think they’re just making conversation.

TinaYouFatLard · 27/02/2022 12:04

It’s a non-issue.

But it IS a lovely day to be outside!!

Alwayswonderedwhy · 27/02/2022 12:05

Isn't it just small talk?

Original poster
Jvg33 · 27/02/2022 12:05

@NoSquirrels

Aren’t they just making conversation? Can’t you just say “We went to the park yesterday but today we’re not up to much”. Do you think they’ll judge you?
I was texting a relative how tired I was today and she replied with what a lovely day it it to take the kids out.
OP posts:
cutebutstabby · 27/02/2022 12:06

Oh gawd these family members have clean forgotten the effort involved with leaving the house with kids that age! It IS a lovely day to go out if you can just step outside and go. I hear you OP. I think your family members are just abit excited about your little ones seeing the sunshine 🤩 Try not to take it to heart and just go out when you feel like it. Soon the little ones will be bugging you so much you'll NEED to go out to get them to run off steam but in the meantime you do what you fancy.

Youcansaythatagainandagain · 27/02/2022 12:06

@Eileen101

My in laws are a bit like this - kids should be outside all the time or some such.

"Well they had a lovely time on our long walk yesterday and are a bit tired today. X is snuggled up to me listening to stories and we're going to do some baking later and catch up on some jobs".

I know why this seems like a good reply but you really don’t have to explain how you spend your day to anyone.

Its a ‘dig’ if you are receiving this message frequently. It’s the type of message my sister would send because she seems to think my children are indoors too much.

The reality is my children are active but she doesn’t agree with the sports they do and thinks going out for walks is better. If she had her own children, she’d know that children, like adults, all like different forms of exercise.

Original poster
Jvg33 · 27/02/2022 12:07

@AlexaShutUp

What? Why don't you just stay at home some days if you don't want to go out? If people text you saying it's a lovely day to take them out, just say yes it is a lovely day but we've decided to stay at home today. You're not compelled to go out unless you want to!
I really wish it were that simple. My nearly two year old is already going stir crazy even after letting them out in the garden and setting up some messy play for them
OP posts:
mumda · 27/02/2022 12:07

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Yanbu. I once popped into my Mums at 8.30am on the way somewhere (she rises at 6!), and as soon as we walked through the door "have you been anywhere nice this morning?"

Err....the kettle.

The correct answer is "No. not yet, but we're hoping to go somewhere nice as soon as we leave here"