How to tactfully handle people saying it's a lovely day to take the kids out?

[Jvg33]

I have two children under two. I take my kids out usually 6/7 days and sometimes 7/7 days. I'm on maternity leave. As soon as the sun is shining they say how lovely it is to take the kids out and ask me what we have done today. I would really love to say back -what a lovely day for YOU to take my kids out today. I'm literally fed up of going out every single day. I just want to stay in for once.

God my two were always far better out. Like dogs, needed a walk every single day. I dreaded a wet day stuck at home.

Say they played out for ages in the garden. I’ve learnt over the years the going out bit is an adult thing - kids are happy with their own garden and home if a few activities and toys are laid out - I had a better sandpit, swing set and toys than anywhere! Going out with little ones is like an expedition!

@DrFoxtrot

I realise everyone is different but 'the must get out of the house' mentality baffles me. I guess it's what you're used to. As children we did have days out and visits to relatives etc but we also had plenty of time at home just playing and it felt very relaxing.

its interesting that its compared with dogs on this thread. I know a bit about dog behaviour and it can be a thing that dogs get overstimulated by too much activity. Its kind of like an addiction, and they need more and more exercise and activity. They can't switch off or amuse themselves and owners say "oh he gets so hyper if he doesn't get his loooong walks every single day" Yes dogs and people do need physical and mental exercise but it can be overdone.

Thanks everyone for the replies. The relative who messaged me are mid 60s so perhaps it's a generation generated chit chat comment to make. I don't believe for a moment they meant offence by it. I just wish relatives would show more sympathy to parents with young children.

I think they’re just making small talk. Perhaps you have some guilt about not taking them out? Switch your phone off and get in with your own plans.

But they might think they are showing sympathy because in their experience a nice day means you can throw the DCs into the garden, which doesn't take a lot of energy. Plus the fresh air might mean they fall asleep more easily later.

When you're tired everything is annoying but I still think it's better to have the option to go out (it doesn't mean you have to go out) than the weather being so bad you're stuck inside with DCs climbing the walls.

@Jvg33

Thanks everyone for the replies. The relative who messaged me are mid 60s so perhaps it's a generation generated chit chat comment to make. I don't believe for a moment they meant offence by it. I just wish relatives would show more sympathy to parents with young children.

How is it unsympathetic to say that? It's not even a question so no response is needed at all. You are taking a perfectly normal observation as some kind of personal slight

Ignore the texts? Or just reply saying something like "Yes, lovely day".

I didn’t want “sympathy” when I had young children

But who says you can't stay in for once, or anytime you like in fact, they will be other days of sunshine, not like its a one off!!! 😂Just say I'll have to take a rain check and you've got things to sort out at home, don't feel pressured to do what you don't want to do otherwise you'll get resentful 😊

@Jvg33

Thanks everyone for the replies. The relative who messaged me are mid 60s so perhaps it's a generation generated chit chat comment to make. I don't believe for a moment they meant offence by it. I just wish relatives would show more sympathy to parents with young children.

Why should it be age generated?

Did you send the initial text saying you were tired?

@ilovesooty

I only mentioned the age as it was a discussion by others earlier on this thread about having to go out most days when they were kids especially if it was a sunny day.

I didn't text them first. They asked me how the kids were and I told them about their week and how the toddler has been difficult for the last three evenings at bedtime

I would have read that as them being sympathetic and saying at least you could get the toddler out today and run the legs off them which will hopefully improve their sleep

They asked me how the kids were and I told them about their week and how the toddler has been difficult for the last three evenings at bedtime

I guess that your relative simply thought a tired child might sleep better at night.

*12:28godmum56

Neurodiversitydoctor

I think young children (well everyone really) needs to leave the house at least once a day for general health and well being. I suppose the caveat would be if you had an enormous garden.

excepting the young children (no experience there) I think you are wrong!*

Sorry not to respond earlier, was you know- out. There is very good evidence that exercise outside improves sleep and mental well being. Will find some links...

www.pentagonplay.co.uk/news-and-info/how-outdoor-play-can-improve-childrens-sleep

[quote Jvg33]@ilovesooty

I only mentioned the age as it was a discussion by others earlier on this thread about having to go out most days when they were kids especially if it was a sunny day.

I didn't text them first. They asked me how the kids were and I told them about their week and how the toddler has been difficult for the last three evenings at bedtime[/quote]
Are you close to the relatives in question?

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3710158/

www.sleepandsensibility.com/sleep-sensibility-blog/natural-light-helps-sleep

The OP is not disputing the benefits of outside activity and nor is anyone else - when they want to be there.

Godmum suggested that it wasn't the case.

It's just conversation, but can get annoying. Could turn it around and say 'yes it is but I've got a lot of chores to catch up on so if you want to take them out...they'd love to spend more time with you'. Or as pp have said 'sure it is a lovely day - what are you doing to enjoy it'?
I do hate it when people ask 'what are you up to', because generally it's nothing more exciting than laundry, which has to get done no matter how sunny it is. I feel I should be saying 'oh went to the National Gallery and taking in a show later'. I've just moved to London and if one more person asks me how I'm enjoying it I'll scream! I'm not doing anything more exciting than they are.