AIBU to know diets don’t work but also need to lose 3-4 stone

[MoirasWigStand]

I’m the fattest I’ve ever been. 5’6” and weigh 14st 11. There is a reason, I had health issues last year which meant no exercise (even walking) for almost a year, as well as a period of time on steroids (which made me pile on weight).

I really, really, need to lose it now. I can exercise (although my efforts are pretty pathetic so far!). I started calorie counting and lost 6lbs in January, but it’s gone back on after a few stress do l weeks.

And I found it so hard. 1500 calories is so little food 😂. I clearly have issues with stress eating and bingeing. Also when ‘bored’ at home when wfh.

I need a massive kick up the arse. I know diets don’t work, I’ve read those books. But I really need to lose some weight, I’m disgusted in myself.

Im an inch smaller than you and started a stone heavier. I lost 3 stone last year by having conversations with my tummy (are you actually needing food or is my mind trying to trick me? Usually the latter) . I didn’t buy in snacks or junk foods but I didn’t stop myself having sweet treats either. I limited when I’d eat but ate three times (exercise made my appetite disappear so I’d eat breakfast after my walk at around 11 then lunch nearer 2/3 and dinner with family- my body prefers this timescale)

I started walking (after long covid wore off) - by the end of summer I was walking 5-10km a day (on top of day to day stuff) and I wasn’t hungry at all. I have inflammatory arthritis so can’t always exercise and with the LC fatigue I’d sometimes have to sleep after a walk yay lockdown)

OP you've got quite a lot of head stuff going on. Be kind to yourself and take small healthy steps. You will get there eventually

I’m in the same place at the moment, I’m the biggest I’ve ever been and am really not happy with the way I look.

I’m starting with trying to swap snacks for healthier foods - I’ve got some carrot sticks, cucumber and hummus to have if I feel hungry in the evenings so I’m (hopefully) able to stay away from the less healthy stuff. I have a dog so walk a couple of hours every day already, I’ve added in a couple of the 7 minute work outs - there’s loads of you tube videos - and am planning to up that to the 30 minute ones in a week or two.

I’m a bored snacker too so I’ve bought a couple of colouring books and a cross stitch kit to keep my hands busy. I think having something to do is what will help me the most with not reaching for snacks. Best of luck with finding what works for you OP.

I've lost almost 3 stone since September, so not particularly quickly but also through not being particularly restrictive. I'm a lot bigger, and there are some who may think I should be losing weight faster or in using a diet.

I'm doing it with the NHS on a tier 3 referral, so with psychiatric support and monthly input around nutrition. It's not a diet. I've made changes to my routines and the way food fits into my life. It's been sustainable. I'm not calorie counting.

I'd like to lose at least 7st more. This is feeling achievable now.

No diets don't work.

Read "why we eat (too much)" for more information about why diets (esp calorie restriction) doesn't actually work long term. He has guidance at the end of how to actually reduce your weight set point.

Also "overcoming binge eating" for evidence based CBT approach to binge eating disorder. Also talks about how strict diets exacerbate binge eating on there too.

Good luck. Be kind to yourself. There a reason obesity is an epidemic right now.

I’ve bought “Why we eat too much”

Something I read about in an article on resilience was to deal with the emotion rather than have a drink (or in my case a bar of chocolate).

So if you've just had a tricky client in the phone acknowledge that you are angry with the arse on the end of the phone. Don't comfort eat.

@MoirasWigStand: thanks for posting context. Well done for dropping the volunteering. From your posts to date, I wonder if you would be better off focusing on self care & eating healthy nutritious meals (not necessarily low calorie ones) to boost your health rather than focusing on weight loss if it’s not the right time

Re wanting to enjoy a drink with a new partner- i get that. My suggestion would be to drink some water first (so you are not thirsty) & have some water on the side which will slow you down & make enjoying a smaller amount of wine last longer

Have a look at 'dietdoctor.com' all the science and success stories if either keto or low carb healthy fat way of eating - not diet. Also Micheal Mosley's new fast keto 800 book is worth checking out - I listened to
Audiobook - so much new research supporting this way of life.
A very easy way to loose weight!

Hi OP. I have really really been thinking the same for many years. I lost a lot of weight and then put it all back again. Because short term radical changes don’t work. But how would I lose weight? I’ve caved and started calorie counting again, and it’s fair to say I’m a bit lost, but what became clear was that my healthy, veg filled, plant based protein filled diet was still ending up at around 3000 calories a day, so no wonder I was putting on weight. I don’t know how hard it is to lose weight, but maintenance is the crux of it for me. To not gain weight, I need to eat around 2000 calories a day and to do this without counting or controlling. That’s where I was to focus my energy. What does my week look like when I eat 2000 calories a day?

@MoirasWigStand oh of course then, avoid letting them know that you're dieting. Let's hope struggles with weight and emotional eating ends with our generation.

I was in exactly the same position - I tried every diet under the sun and the weight ALWAYS came back. I read all the books about intuitive eating and antidiet stuff but I was still overeating and was so uncomfortable in my body. Thigh rub, sore bra and I felt so fed up with myself. Cognitive behavioural therapy for weight loss worked for me in the end. I lost 4 stones and Im still managing to maintain my behaviour change. For me, it was not about dieting but managing to recognise when I was overeating. So in therapy, I learned how my thoughts and behaviours sabotaged me. Best of luck, hope you manage to break yourself free from the diet cycle.

Diets do work obviously, it's just a matter of finding what helps us stick with it, and not falling back into bad habits once we stop. High volume/low energy density food can help-fruit and veg etc, but also plenty of protein; I find a protein powder is a good way of meeting my protein grams easily and surprisingly good value. Also, fat free Greek yogurt.

I did a course on obesity management and the tutor said the difference between people who are morbidly obese or something and others is that when the slimmer person notices they've put on weight they act to rein it in, whereas ones that go into severe, chronic obesity don't. So yes diets don't always work permanently and perfectly, but you just get back on the wagon ASAP when you've significantly fallen off.

I would've eaten all the pancakes too. So I try not to keep foods that get me that way in the house.

Oh and MyFitnessPal has helped me a lot to tangibly learn the nutritional value (or lack thereof) of foods.

Here is the "kick in the ass"you wanted

You are fat .
Not because you couldn't walk due to surgery. But because you ate more than you burned. ( ok the steriods might have had influence to. But that is the only thing you can put some blame on)

Dont diet
Dont restrict to 1500 cals.

You already daid you eat because you are bored.
Eat chewing gum instead.
Drink a big glass of water before you have any kids of food

Commit To not eating anything pre-packaged (cuz that eliminates chips and cookies and all other nonense you dont need.

Add more protein to your diet.

And try to move more. And lift some weights. Muscles burn more calories

Hang a pic up the fridge of you in your smiller days as inspiration

Once a week have a cheat day and pick two treats you can eat . (Not an entire bag of something but more like 1 ice.cream and 1 small chocolate bar or something)

And cut out fizzy drinks and alcohol

Be a better you. A healthier you
And be happier!! ♡♡

I need to join you. Mostly cut down on drinking as that adds tons of calories and makes me tired so I crave crap.
I am going to miss my son terribly when he goes to Uni but it does mean I can have only food I want in and I won’t need to produce dinner every night.

The reality is you do have to stop eating so much. I know everyone says you can have as much salad as you want, which is true. But over eating, eating when you don’t need to is the problem. I find it helps to not really think about it and just have a tasty carb free lunch and dinner that’s minimal prep or cooking and easy snacks like nuts. Also think about health rather than looks. So the read all the warnings about on fat around the middle, diabetes etc and concentrate on measuring those.

I lost 3 stone, seeing a nutritionist.

An average day was 1 boiled egg and a slice of toast,

I'm lazy so would buy the high protein soups do lunch

A piece of fruit mid afternoon

Dinner was 100g of protein, with as many veg or salad as I wanted

I could also have a small wine or a couple of squares of chocolate after.

I also didn't really exercise during this time, until I'd lost at least 2 stone, I was doing a few Pilates classes a week but no cardio except walking.

I now do 2 spin classes, a weights class, a boxing class and yoga (usually 5/6 classes a week depending on child)

I'm a bit less strict now I've lost the majority of my weight and I'm managing to maintain.

I also need to lose weight.

I just cant abide the feeling of being hungry, especially if Im also tired.

I need a diet for someone like me! So that i won’t get hunger pangs but can lose weight.

I was always very slim until now in my 40s so not at all used to having to diet or watch what i eat.

What I think I need is to be able to set my waking / sleeping hours to my own body clock, but that is impossible with a school run to do.

See someone recommended chewing gum but I cant stand the stuff. Makes me feel even hungrier as your stomach gets ready for food that never comes.

Check out how many calories you may be drinking. Pop, alcohol fruit juice, lattes etc all have lots of calories, and it so easy to drink your daily calorie allowance and still need to eat.

I must be one of those rare people - my diet did work. I lost 3 stone over a year some 3 years ago and have kept if off. I gave up alcohol - don't really miss it any more. I gave up all refined sugar. I considered portion size and was mindful of fried foods etc.

I've never really eaten fast food and generally cook from scratch - Ithink that also gave me more control over what I was eating.