AIBU to know diets don’t work but also need to lose 3-4 stone

[MoirasWigStand]

I’m the fattest I’ve ever been. 5’6” and weigh 14st 11. There is a reason, I had health issues last year which meant no exercise (even walking) for almost a year, as well as a period of time on steroids (which made me pile on weight).

I really, really, need to lose it now. I can exercise (although my efforts are pretty pathetic so far!). I started calorie counting and lost 6lbs in January, but it’s gone back on after a few stress do l weeks.

And I found it so hard. 1500 calories is so little food 😂. I clearly have issues with stress eating and bingeing. Also when ‘bored’ at home when wfh.

I need a massive kick up the arse. I know diets don’t work, I’ve read those books. But I really need to lose some weight, I’m disgusted in myself.

You have to completely alter your way of looking at food/health. Calorie deficit is what loses weight. While fad diets, meal replacement drinks, etc et work short term, they're not sustainable and don't teach control around food so many go back to old eating habits.

Counting calories works, it can take a lot of getting used to but once you are in the swing of it, it helps you eat a more healthy balanced diet. Of course you can eat 2000 calories of pizza, crisps and chocolate washed down with fizzy juice. But it wouldn't be a large portion and would make you feel pretty crap eating like that longterm. 2000 calories of protein, veg, cereals etc will be larger portions and have more nutrients that will make you feel healthier.

Counting calories also means you can have indulgent food in your intake of course you can, you just record it and adjust the rest of your food accordingly. It can be a pain to start with but it works and you soon get used to it.

While having to precisely calorie count by weighing everything definitely isn't sustainable, I have found doing it for a while very helpful. It's told me where I was eating the extra calories, some of which I was aware of but sometimes I wasn't aware of how bad some things were. It's also helped me work out, for example, that when I crave something sweet what's ok to be something I have regularly and what might need to be a special treat. Knowing that will definitely be part of sustainable eating for me.

I 100% agree with this!

It’s not just about calorie counting to keep calories down.
It’s also about mindful eating - are you actually hungry or bored? Do you want that snack now even though you’re not hungry or would you rather save it and have something better later on when you can enjoy it? Etc
This is what really works for me.

As the PP it shows you what you can have more of.
I was eating very ‘healthy’ meals and my friends were eating unhealthy meals but my healthy meals were actually double the calories.
Obviously healthy meals are good for you but when you’re too restrictive and don’t allow yourself alcohol or chocolate it’s not going to work long term and you’ll end up bingeing.

I get all consuming hunger at bed time at around 10pm. The type where I just can't sleep because it. I know liz Hurley goes to bed hungry but it's painful(!)

Anyone else get this? It's like I'm largely fine until then

@whatever1980

I get all consuming hunger at bed time at around 10pm. The type where I just can't sleep because it. I know liz Hurley goes to bed hungry but it's painful(!)

Anyone else get this? It's like I'm largely fine until then

Yes! I get hungry late at night and then find I can’t sleep because of it! Some of it I know is related to some medication I’m on. But I sleep less when dieting because of it.

If you really wanted to lose weight you would stick to a diet. You dont have the will power because your hearts not in it.

Until that point,its not worth trying.

Maybe a bit harsh, but fair

The reason restrictive diets don’t work is not only because you crave things more do you end up bingeing but also your body’s fat cells just shrink, they don’t instantly disappear as you lose weight.

That means it’s very easy to put the weight back on as it goes quicker to the fat cells than someone who has never been overweight.

It is usually linked to being overweight in childhood - those who weren’t overweight in childhood find it easier to remain a healthy weight in adulthood and vice versa, because of the fat cells, hormones and gut bacteria.
This isn’t true for everyone of course but there have been plenty of studies showing that weight loss surgery is more effective as it has a greater impact on your gut microbiome.

It’s possible to lose weight and keep it off but it needs to be long term which can be daunting but I would start by focusing on diet and then gradually increase the exercise and use heavier weights.

It’s easier to exercise once you’re a healthy weight and then you can eat more normally as you’ll be burning it through exercise.

Your biggest issue is WFH - I eat so much more on the weekends.
So you need to look at things you struggle with and how you can stop them.
I would try and not eat at your desk. Or maybe look into boiler sweets or chewing gum - they’ll stick count towards your calories but they might work out less then if you’re snacking on biscuits.

If you were hungry all the time, take it up to 1700. It will take longer to lose the weight but it's far more sustainable. You are slowly changing a habit, a few extra months to do so is fine.

With exercise, start gentle and make it sustainable to you. As you get fitter, you can add in harder or more sessions.

Take it slow and don't punish yourself.

@Agrudge

If you really wanted to lose weight you would stick to a diet. You dont have the will power because your hearts not in it.

Until that point,its not worth trying.

Maybe a bit harsh, but fair

Harsh and also untrue

@Agrudge

If you really wanted to lose weight you would stick to a diet. You dont have the will power because your hearts not in it.

Until that point,its not worth trying.

Maybe a bit harsh, but fair

Maybe. Or because I am very stressed, that when I try really hard I only lose a tiny bit of weight and so it seems pointless. Because I’m knackered and lose the will to plan ahead. Same reason I don’t do a lot of stuff like enough housework. Because I’m exhausted and fed up most of the time.

When I started in January I lost 5lbs in the first week and then lost nothing for 4 weeks. While this is still a good loss I lost the momentum, because I was hungry and restricting myself the nice stuff in life, but wasn’t losing anything. So it seemed pointless. And every morning I was still looking at the same fat lump in the mirror

Hello,

Do you know how many calories you currently consume a day (or prior to the 1500)?

To lose weight you simply need to be in a calorie deficit, so say you are currently consuming 2500 calories a day, if you dropped this initially to 2000 you would lose weight, and as your weight drops you can decrease your calories. I would say 1500 is too low to begin with.

Pre baby I used to take fitness quite seriously and would train very hard in the gym and track calories and macros religiously (probably too religiously) but even when on a cut I would never eat less than 1700 calories.

Could you potentially afford a personal trainer or an online coach just for the beginning of your weight loss journey? They could advise you how many calories you should be eating and provide a diet plan, although it's best to have a flexible diet plan, so that if you fancy a Kit Kat you can make that work. Dietings not about been starving, because then you'll cheat on your diet.

Xx

What are you eating when not 'on a diet' OP and about how many calories do you think it constitutes? When you are 'too hungry to sleep', what do you eat?

You sound so down on yourself. Even with a successful weight loss plan you are going to look the same for quite some time. Could you work on accepting yourself a bit more? In our society being fat is so vilified but frankly there are worse things. It sounds like you've had a terribly hard time and could perhaps even have died, but here you are surviving and getting on with it. Order some new clothes that fit, get your hair done and whatnot!

@MoirasWigStand

I was half expecting a load of abuse , which probably you somewhat agrees with what I said.

The first 2-3 weeks is always the hardest, you hungry all the time , your portions are smaller , your not getting sweet food as often. It's hard. I've been there and going to be there from tomorrow.

I'm going to tell what no one will.

Your going to fail...
At some point you're going to say fuck it I want a take away or some cake or both. That's ok just get back on it the day after and try not to fuck up to often .

Sorry, I've just seen one of your comments where you said you don't have much spare cash so ignore me asking if you could afford a personal trainer.

Try to make sure your meals are protein based - eggs and a cheap form of protein, don't fall for the 'you must not eat any sugar / fat ect', it's not what you eat it's the total amount of calories.

Do you have Instagram? There's a few good coaches on there and you can get advice just by looking at their pages, happy to recommend some if you wished or happy to send you an example of an 1800 calorie day, high in protein that won't leave you starving, but I won't bore everyone with meal plans if you don't want me to haha xx

I don’t want to buy new clothes, because it feels wasteful and like I’m accepting the at being this fat is ok. Also I have actually bought sooooo many pairs of jeans recently and still pretty much hate how I look in them 😂

I figured making myself wait until I lost weight to buy new clothes would motivate me.

Also, download my fitness pal and input everything you eat into there to begin with to make it easier to count the calories, you can literally scan barcodes on items and it logs the amount of calories, fats, proteins and carbs. But 1500 is probably too low, start higher and play around with it xx

@whatever1980

I get all consuming hunger at bed time at around 10pm. The type where I just can't sleep because it. I know liz Hurley goes to bed hungry but it's painful(!)

Anyone else get this? It's like I'm largely fine until then

A graze subscription has helped me with this - I only get the light boxes, so on those nights where I just want something before bed I don't feel I have to worry - and they are tasty so it's like having a treat too.

My friend did SW and some weeks she would lose 3lbs, some weeks she would lose nothing and some weeks she would gain weight!
She kept at it and overall lost 3 stone and has managed to kept it off.
But during that time there was a lot of fluctuations and the friends she did it with all quit because they were trying so hard but putting on weight.

Take the scales with a pinch of salt.
My friend was loosing on average 1-2lbs a week but this didn’t always show on the scale at first.
1-2lbs a week doesn’t seem like much but in 2 months that’s half or a full stone.

@MoirasWigStand

I don’t want to buy new clothes, because it feels wasteful and like I’m accepting the at being this fat is ok. Also I have actually bought sooooo many pairs of jeans recently and still pretty much hate how I look in them 😂

I figured making myself wait until I lost weight to buy new clothes would motivate me.

I have bought bigger clothes from the Vinted App, so it doesn't feel wasteful. I have a wardrobe full of lovely summer clothes I didn't fit into last year, so I am not buying new ones - I am starting MRP tomorrow and will be fitting into them this year 🤞

Your going to fail...
At some point you're going to say fuck it I want a take away or some cake or both. That's ok just get back on it the day after and try not to fuck up to often

Absolutely this!

Many people quit because they’ve splurged and had a takeaway and they think they’ve ruined things so end up not carrying on - you won’t have ruined things at all.
Just carry on as normal (or have a lighter meal the next day if you want to) and you’ll still be eating less calories overall.

HNRTT and easy to say but perhaps the emphasis might be better on establishing healthy eating patterns and diet and exercise appropriate to your capabilities rather than restricting calories and immediately losing weight though I think from a few posts you want the motivation of demonstrable weight loss reasonably quickly.

Good luck.

@Quincythequince

Of course diets work. You just need to fine one that works for you. But it requires lifelong management as it’s a chronic relapsing condition, so you must make permanent lifestyle changes.

Easier said than done I know, but they do work.

Actually there's lots of good peer reviewed evidence that shows diets really do not work, I mean they'll help you drop weight in a period of months but the vast majority of people gain weight back and more and it can affect your health. Science suggests extreme weight cycling is worse for your health than being a bit chubby tbh.

That being said not going on a diet, keeping treats to a minimum, eating healthily and focusing on exercise and good sleep has helped me v slowly become slimmer

Actually there's lots of good peer reviewed evidence that shows diets really do not work, I mean they'll help you drop weight in a period of months but the vast majority of people gain weight back and more and it can affect your health. Science suggests extreme weight cycling is worse for your health than being a bit chubby tbh.

Yes, this was my point but apparently I was silly, stupid, a fool and completely wrong because I didn't search out the evidence to present to quincy. Of course drastically cutting calories will work in the first instance, but in the long run it's not sustainable or good for your body. 🤷‍♀️ I was just making myself look silly having that opinion though 🤣

I think you need to accept it takes time and effort. What is your motivation to lose weight? Health, nicer clothes?
Your posts show that you see it as deprivation, well you are going to fail if you feel resentful.
You need to find solutions and aim slowly. A pound a week is still a lot over 6 months. As you lose weight get cheap clothes from charity shops and donate back as you drop sizes.
Use your freezer to batch cook healthy meals so as not to end up tired and eat junk.
Online shop so not tempted by trigger foods.
Find strategies if you want to binge such as call a friend/ paint nails etc.
Use resistance bands in front of TV or use seated exercise videos if you find exercise hard.
Plan meals and treats.
Definitely cut down on wine, it is proven to derail weightloss. A glass is the same as a doughnut.
How badly do you want to lose? You need to plan it positively

Science suggests extreme weight cycling is worse for your health than being a bit chubby tbh.

Science doesn't suggest that though. It's just old fashioned diet wisdom, along the lines of "you must eat breakfast" and the healthy food pyramid with bread/grains at the bottom (ie eat the most).