AIBU to know diets don’t work but also need to lose 3-4 stone

[MoirasWigStand]

I’m the fattest I’ve ever been. 5’6” and weigh 14st 11. There is a reason, I had health issues last year which meant no exercise (even walking) for almost a year, as well as a period of time on steroids (which made me pile on weight).

I really, really, need to lose it now. I can exercise (although my efforts are pretty pathetic so far!). I started calorie counting and lost 6lbs in January, but it’s gone back on after a few stress do l weeks.

And I found it so hard. 1500 calories is so little food 😂. I clearly have issues with stress eating and bingeing. Also when ‘bored’ at home when wfh.

I need a massive kick up the arse. I know diets don’t work, I’ve read those books. But I really need to lose some weight, I’m disgusted in myself.

@EssexLioness

1600 cals should be plenty based on what you have already eaten. Enough for a bit of chocolate in the evening or a more indulgent dinner. I suggested a few ways, upthread how you could easily adapt your main meals to cut down on work. You definitely need to meal plan.

MFP says I have 594 calories left. That's for stirfry with rice, plus I haven't counted any of the milk in my tea/coffee yet today. I've had 7 of those (some decaff).

Too much tea/coffee not enough water. I’m not greatest at water but drink mostly water - I’m on my second brew of day now and it’s late afternoon.
I wouldn’t have rice with stir personally I’d have salmon & lots of veg - Mushrooms, pak choi add bulk and are hardly any calories. Or cut rice portion

I do understand you are busy and are used to prioritising others. I was in that place but then penny dropped its like on airplane put own mask on first - you need to prioritise you and then you’ll have more energy for them.
Don’t discount ready meals especially while you get going. The M & S eat well ones are nice just add steamed veg. They are 3 for £10 Ocado. You just scan barcode and it adds to nutra check if you cc.
If you really can’t deal with planning and prep on top of everything then think about a meal prep service. A lady on my local Facebook does 3 meals a day x 5 days for £50 all calorie counted. She sells through Facebook and local gym. Zero effort required just add fruit, snack etc to get to your cals - she comes in around 1200-1300 cals a day.

@MoirasWigStand my main meals are never over 600 cals, mostly 4-500cals so that should be ok. I do a large veg and tofu stir fry, with wholewheat noodles and 3 mini spring rolls for 512 cals each. It’s just a case of getting your head round what foods you should be eating and what a normal portion looks like.

@MoirasWigStand: I understand your position, as I have personally lost & gained weight many times and seen others do so too. Its linked to stress for me so trying to manage/eliminate stress in my life is key

There has been lots of great advice on this thread, and I will share mine too ...

1/ You have to tap into some positive motivations (things that you want to achieve that will be more enjoyable when you are at a healthier weight. eg: is there an activity with your kids, something you want to wear, being slimmer on a holiday/occasion etc
2/ It has to be a permanent thing - so choose a way of eating you enjoy & can stick to for the most part
3/ wine is a killer - empty calories & will power wise. Cutting it out for a few weeks (dry march?) and then limiting to 2-3 units a week will make SUCH a difference
4/ Eating as little processed food as possible, and load of veg helps, Filling 'natural' foods include all beans & legumes (use canned, its so much easier), and loads of veg, plus some nuts. Meal planning, prepping etc makes it more manageable
5/ Agree with all those recommending you read 'Why we eat too much' (or just a summary online!). Likewise any book on whole food plant based eating (I like Dr Furber/Nutritarian diet, but they are all broadly the same). You don't have to stop eating meat if you don't want to but the focus on veg, beans etc is really filling
6/ Like wise google Dr Greger & his g-bombs - I am not pushing plant based (eat meat if you want) but the nutrition aspects are quite motivating. As you have a vegetarian child it seems more reasonable for family meals too. This way of eating allows you a LOT more food which helps!
7/ likewise read about insulin & Intermittent fasting - this may put you off snacking
6/ Low fat yogurt/kvarg/skyr etc are excellent & filling foods. If you buy plain & have with berries (frozen are cost effective) & nuts its a great breakfast/snack. Eggs are also v filling
7/ exercise: simple walking DOES make a difference - 30./45/60 min a day - can you do it on your lunch break then eat at your desk? You might have to rush your work in the afternoon so no time to snack :-)
There are also plenty of free workouts on youtube etc so you can find something you like - you don't need a gym. If you can stretch (as a 1-off) to a couple of sessions with a PT who comes to your home (they are £30/hr in my suburb of London) you might find that helps you exercise more intensively. An exercise class, couch to 5k group or anything that gets you exercising with others can also help
8/ Fit bits etc are pretty cheap now, or use your phone & aim for 10 k steps a day
9/ Ask your GP for a referral to Slimming world if you feel that would help (I don't personally like their diet but many people find the group & weigh ins helpful)
10/ Carbs are healthy but calorie dense. There is loads of science to suggest that whole plant based carbs at breakfast & lunch are much better for weight loss./management vs later in the day. Filling 4-500 cal dinners incl lots of stews/chillis etc = I'd suggest veg instead of carbs & make carbs for your DC

Lastly - losing weight IS tough, esp the first weeks, & maintaining is also tough. You need to make time & space for it in your life and accept it won't always be easy and there may be relapses. You have to find what works for you not someone else & what you will be happy to stick to most of the time to make the loss permanent

I think that your day of eating so far sounds great, and if you do that all this week you WILL lose weight which might help with motivation.

Good luck

This thread is really helping. I know I perhaps come across as someone who is rejecting lots of ideas. I’m not, I’m taking it on board.

I do drink too much tea/coffee. Is sugar free squash ok to start me into better habits? I find it hard to drink water in the winter

I find cold water harsh so first thing I drink warm water with lemon rather than squash. I don't think it's high in calories but I think it makes me crave sweet stuff and I like promoting drinking water for the kids generally anyway

Sugar free squash is perfectly fine from a weight loss point of view. Some people find it can curb sweet cravings eg have a squash to avoid reaching for the sweets. But other people find artificial sweeteners increase sugar cravings, so it is something to be mindful of. I personally find it ok for me, but I am lucky in the fact I love plain water, so rarely have squash. So many things re weight loss is what works for you individually, which is what can make it so challenging. Why not try the squash for a week and see how you go? Another nice calorie free drink is soda water with a slice of lemon/ lime in… it’s particularly nice in the summer.

[quote EssexLioness]@KalaniM it is the Alpro Greek style one. Soy beans provide the protein. 1/3 tub is only 85 cals with 7.2g protein. Not sure how that compares to dairy but for vegan yoghurts it’s pretty good. I am menopausal so I aim for 100g protein a day.[/quote]
Wow, Thankyou for this, I will try it. I don’t eat meat or dairy and am always very pleased to find any new high protein source. Thanks also for cals info. I’ve just started using powdered peanut butter for this very reason. I think I’ll try adding the pb to the alpro…

@KalaniM you’re very welcome. Sainsburys and Waitrose sell it, Asda don’t, not sure about Tescos. It’s really thick and creamy. I love the pub powder for the same reason, it’s really nice and great for protein but without the extra fat/ calories

*pb powder, not pub! 😆

I’m another powdered peanut butter eater I add it to porridge etc, my daughter has it in fage - good way to add protein. I got some in Tesco then last lot off Amazon.
It does get easier Op as you pick up tips & tricks way to feel fuller for not many cals.

Yesterday was a good day. Although dd reminded me that it’s pancake day today, what a week to start a diet 😂.

I love peanut butter so might find some powder. I have powdered protein shake I used to have after exercise but it makes me fart 😲

You can have pancakes Op. Just have 1 or have them instead of your meal. You have to find a way that’s compatible with family life there will always be something in calendar.

We always have pancakes instead of tea. I will try and stick to 1 or 2!

I’m having them for tea too!

Just have a salad/veg and some protein too to fill up, you’ll be fine

Hands up, I had more than 2 (4). But not as many as I might usually have had. And I’ve not let it cycle into a binge.

Hands up, I had more than 2 (4). But not as many as I might usually have had

Jeez OP - how many might you usually have had?! Genuinely no idea how you could eat four pancakes (and no I'm not one of those competitive undereating "massive salad" types).
Is your frying pan very small?!

But more seriously, if you're serious about losing weight, this is the sort of stuff you need to look at. This thread has been full of excuse after excuse (you don't like drinking water in winter?!) and at some point the excuses and minimalising need to stop.

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. But to eat four pancakes a few hours after saying you'd stop at two suggests you're not committed in any way to making the lifestyle changes you say you want to make.

I speak as a formerly very overweight person, in case that's relevant.

You ate fewer than you normally would have, so draw a line under it. Sometimes the first few days are a bit hit & miss as you get used to the changes - and Pancake day IS once a year

I think you should write yourself a meal plan

• breakfasts/lunches/dinners for the week
• add a daily snack if you want it /it fits in your plan & helps you

(Maybe work around the meals your veggie DC likes as a start point)

Then you won’t waste your brain power/will power making decisions

Set realistic goals, but you DO have to make changes to lose weight (ie cutting down on some things, and relaxing it a bit at maintenance). A friend put it well ‘every day can’t be a one-off’. As I sense you dislike feeling restricted plan 1-2 more indulgent meals a week to look forward to - you might decide you prefer to skip those treats once you get on the swing of things

There are another 30 days of March to go so crack on :)

Quite simply, you need to take in less calories than you’re burning. I’m 5’9 and was 16 stone. To maintain my calories were 2100 so I cut down to 1750 and after a month 1650. I have been doing it since new year and have lost just under a stone. (And I still have a take away once a week)

You don’t need to starve yourself, just try and eat things that aren’t mega on calories and will fill you up. I hate salad with a passion and love chocolate. For breakfast I’ll usually have low sugar granola with yogurt and fruit (350 cal) and a coffee. Then for lunch a home made sandwich (350 calories), this leaves me plenty for a decent, high protein dinner and even a chocolate biscuit with a cup of tea before bed.

My main tips are use the my fitness pal app to log your calories and also weigh your food, when you see a portion on cereal or pasta, compared to what you normally eat you instantly understand where all the extra calories were coming from!

I’m talking thin, crepe style pancakes. Max 18cm diameter (if that’s all the way across- I just measured the pan!).

And that is all I ate for my evening meal. With lemon and a sprinkle of sugar on.

I know there are a lot of excuses and I’ve said this thread is helpful.

Water, I just find tea/coffee more palatable when it’s cold. It’s easier to drink water in the summer I find. I am making an effort to drink more water though.

Before anyone jumps on me…I will do it, because it’s what has to happen. But even the thought of one snack a day. I think my medication is in part to blame. One that I’m on is known for weight gain, as I have to be weighed and BMI done regularly.

And yes I know being hungry is normal and I need to reset my expectations and allow myself to feel hungry. But I don’t have to jump for joy about it 😂

But I don’t have to jump for joy about it 😂

But, seriously, it helps if you do! Keep obsessing about how difficult/ bad it is just magnifies that feeling.

Find some distraction. Activity is not well matched to eating at the same time. Make a list of treats that don't involve food. Look forward to them instead.

@MoirasWigStand

Before anyone jumps on me…I will do it, because it’s what has to happen. But even the thought of one snack a day. I think my medication is in part to blame. One that I’m on is known for weight gain, as I have to be weighed and BMI done regularly.

And yes I know being hungry is normal and I need to reset my expectations and allow myself to feel hungry. But I don’t have to jump for joy about it 😂

You don’t - and thinking positively you won’t ALWAYS be hungry if you can choose foods that work for you

Water content & fibre bulk out the food without loads of calories. My best hunger busters are:

• porridge
• skyr/Greek yogurt
• bananas
• green veg
• eggs
• mushrooms
• lentils
• beans

If you like any of those could you try to work some into your meal plan & see if they work for you ?