To ask if you wash your bed linen every time you have sex?

[StandingOvulation]

I tend towards slatternity so I didn't realise this was A Thing

Luckily it's only high days and holidays nowadays, so it's not as though Id be ploughing through the Bold on Bed sheets.

It's this another MN requirement where I come up wanting?

YABU: wash em straight away you grim creature.

YANBU: Meh, wash Em on the normal processing time, no need to rush.

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No because I ninja roll off the bed before it can go on the sheets

It just doesn’t seem very romantic to be getting up immediately to change the bed. It’s like sex is something to ‘get out of the way’ before a boring chore. I like to cuddle afterwards and then go to sleep. DH in the wet patch, obviously.

You what?! What the hell are people doing to create that much mess?! Actually, no, I really don’t want to know!!!!!

I don't stay in bed long after sex (I assume the 'soiling' relates to semen dripping back our?!) I strategically roll out so my undercarriage doesn't touch the sheets and go straight to the toilet anyway.

No, but I usually go to the toilet and clean up right after so any ‘stuff’ gets washed away so it doesn’t get on the sheets. I hear from friends who cuddle up straight after and go to sleep in a wet patch… if that happened I’d wash them.

@Qwill

“Every time I never wanna risk my children getting in”

Getting in what?!!! What on Earth do you think is going to happen to them? This is by far the oddest thing I’ve read on here, and there has been some bonkers comments through the years!

Agreed, Regularly 10 mins after doing the deed one of the kids has knocked on the fort and decided to jump in for a cuddle...the prudishness around this is self defeating-someone said the other day they only do it when all kids are out the house-how on earth do they manage that? When mine are out the house it's normally cos one of us has taken them somewhere!!

You’re all doing it wrong. DH and I have our own specially-adapted hazmat suits for just this very purpose.

Laughing so much at this thread. 💦🤣🤣

When I was on my hen do I was given all sorts of funny gifts. One was a multi pack of tissues. I questioned what they were for and was told to always make sure I had tissues beside the bed. ( I had not lived with our slept with DH prior to marriage)
I find that once we are done cuddling, a strategically placed tissue is fine. We tend to have early morning sex as 3 teenagers in house and this is when they are dead to the world. So we then shower straight after and damp patches are avoided!!

@TrippinEdBalls

I'm a bit confused by the apparently popular option of doing it on a towel - do you keep a towel in your room for this or does someone have to go to the bathroom/airing cupboard to get it? Does that then mean you can't move around during sex because you have to stay on the towel? Don't you find a towel is a lot less comfortable than a bedsheet - I'm imagining friction burns!

We are obviously revolting by MN standards because we just have sex directly on our sheets and don't change them until they're next due to be changed

"Get the sex towel darling, I'm feeling frisky"

No

Good grief no! It would put me off doing it if it was in the back of my mind I'd have to strip the bed afterwards. Also it takes about two days to dry our sheets unless it's very sunny, we don't have enough sheets for that. I don't want laundry hindering my sex life!

For those who use towels or blankets, isn't it off putting? Do you have to stop and roll out the towel or do you lay it out in anticipation in which case doesn't your heart sink slightly if you go to get in bed feeling really tired and the blanket or towel is laid out ready.

Fuggly it could well be an age thing. Maybe my cervix is keen to repel the goods as soon as possible. It's certainly more of a messy business than in my younger days. Tbh I wasnt arsed about bedding/laundry in my younger days 😅

@vdbfamily

When I was on my hen do I was given all sorts of funny gifts. One was a multi pack of tissues. I questioned what they were for and was told to always make sure I had tissues beside the bed. ( I had not lived with our slept with DH prior to marriage) I find that once we are done cuddling, a strategically placed tissue is fine. We tend to have early morning sex as 3 teenagers in house and this is when they are dead to the world. So we then shower straight after and damp patches are avoided!!

We too are morning people and have "strategic tissues" we can reach easily. That's all that's needed since not long afterwards we get up and have a shower. The odd damp patch gets a quick wipe with a sponge.

@AffableApple

I just use a toilet brush to clean up any spills

😂😂😂

@Goldrill

I wash my sheets way more often than I have sex. They'd be properly gross if I left them that long.

Same. Sheets would be walking to the washing machine by themselves

We have a special leak proof blanket, which we throw on top of whatever bedding we have. It has cool and warm sides and feels special.

🤣 utterly bonkers 😂 but strangely endearing 🤣

@Qwill

“Every time I never wanna risk my children getting in”

Getting in what?!!! What on Earth do you think is going to happen to them? This is by far the oddest thing I’ve read on here, and there has been some bonkers comments through the years!

Sorry but the oddest thing I’ve read is that you’d be happy to lie in a patch of your dad’s spunk and think that’s a normal thing to do.

@FinnulaFloss

I don't understand what the hell people are doing to get soaking wet sheets and huge 'spills' that necessitate an entire bedding change.

The worst 'spillage' we've ever had is a coin sized damp patch which I'd rub thoroughly with a baby wipe then just leave. Most of the time there's nothing though.

Same - this thread is bizarre mumsnet classic surely!

@KimchiWithMe

I don't stay in bed long after sex (I assume the 'soiling' relates to semen dripping back our?!) I strategically roll out so my undercarriage doesn't touch the sheets and go straight to the toilet anyway.

Ha ha, love this description as I do this, just hadn't realised I did til I read your description.

My one experience of cystitis aged 23 was enough to ensure I never risk it again. Shame because it does break up the cuddle a bit.

"Get the sex towel darling, I'm feeling frisky"

😂😂😂

@jamandmarmaladeoncrumpets

No, i just snap the sheet in half and throw it in the bin

🤣🤣🤣

@RhubarbFairy

If it's wet after sex, we'll change the sheet, but not the whole bed. If it's not, then it's a hug and roll.

You change "the whole bed"? Fuck me but that's taking cleanliness neurosis too far

Considering we have two small non sleeping children it’s more likely that they would sneeze over our sheets tbh. This morning I woke up with baby dribble in my hair.

IF there was some kind of jizz pond in our bed (and let’s be clear that there is not), then maybe brushing against that would be the price the children pay I’m afraid for conspiring to ensure we never sleep again.

I'm flabbergasted at all this 'wetness' getting everywhere! I think I can remember once when there was any 'spillage' of any kind and it was a tiny patch.

I think you lot need to take more care afterwards so you that your beds aren't flooding 🤣 you'll have a lot less washing!